Artemis Fowl and the Hostage Situations
by Lessa3
Summary: After EC. Artemis's mind has been wiped. He has no recollection of the things he has done to the fairies. But then he receives a mysterious package in the mail-a copy of a Booke. And the circle starts again...More revised chaps uploaded. (I'm not dead)
1. Meet Artemis Fowl, Criminal Mastermind

_AN: This is the beginning of the final revision. In order to keep with tradition-_

_ASN: -And because they were funny-_

_AN: We are keeping our original comments. So, here you go._

_ASN: The beginning of the end._

**_DISCLAIMER: _**

**_** Artemis is my friend,_**

**_But he's not mine, that's true. _**

**_I don't claim the characters, _**

**_So please don't sue!!**_**

**ARTEMIS FOWL AND THE HOSTAGE SITUATIONS**

**Chapter 1: Meet Artemis Fowl Junior, Criminal Mastermind (Again)**

Artemis Fowl Junior sat at his computer, outwardly composed, inwardly confused.  The 14 year old stared at the contents of his Swiss bank account in silent disbelief.  Somehow, in the last few months since he had checked his account, a sum of 280,000,000 dollars had been transferred into his name.  By who, how and from where he had no idea.

            "Odd." he muttered.  Yet another strange occurrence that had happened to Artemis lately.  For example, he knew Butler's first name, though no one had ever told him.  Not even his parents knew his full name was Domovoi Butler.  And Butler seemed so much older than Artemis remembered him.  Almost as if he had gained a decade.

            Then there had been another incident that Artemis hadn't informed Butler of, for fear the bodyguard would think that he was going insane.  He had woken up late in the night from a recurring nightmare that involved him shooting his own father and watching him disappear beneath the waves of an Arctic sea.  He had automatically brought his hand up to his gold medallion that hung around his neck for reassurance.  The boy had been quite surprised when he had felt bare skin.  He had no such medallion, a gold coin with a hole through the middle.  So why the memory?

            However, the issue of the mirrored contact lenses was definitely the most troubling.  Butler had gone to see his contact in Limerick to ask who might have ordered such odd lenses.  Shockingly, the lens crafter had told the bodyguard that he, Butler, had ordered the contacts made at the instigation of his employer.  Needless to say, neither Butler nor Artemis could recall this.  The whole episode was disturbing, to say the least.

            Artemis shook his head and continued on the computer.  He would puzzle about the other things later, when he wasn't so busy.  Now, though, he had to try and trace back through the records of the transaction, to see exactly whose money it was.  He had no intention of returning it; he just want to know who he had "liberated" it from.

            A slight knock came from the entrance.  "Artemis?" Butler asked softly before opening the door.

            Artemis looked up from his monitor expectantly.  Butler's tone of voice sounded ...intriguing.  "Yes?" he asked.  Butler stood almost at attention in front of Artemis's desk and laid a manila envelope on the top.

            "I received this package in the mail today from the lens specialist from Limerick."

            Artemis frowned.  "I thought you went to see him more than six months ago.  Didn't he tell you everything then?"

            "I had believed so, but he sent a package to me, saying that I had requested the package be mailed at this exact date, and not a day before.  It contained this envelope addressed to you."  Butler said.  And what the bodyguard did not say aloud was that the handwriting on the envelope was identical to Artemis's own writing.  It was a measure of how troubling the situation was to the bodyguard that he actually allowed a small frown of confusion to furrow his brow.

            Without a word, Artemis opened the envelope and tipped the contents onto his desktop.  A single CD-R disk slid out.  Artemis loaded it into his hard drive and scanned it for viruses.  The disk came out clean, and Artemis opened it.  The disk held only one document file.  Intrigued, and slightly annoyed with _another_ unknown happening, Artemis clicked on it.

            _The Booke of the People._

Artemis leaned forward.  This was surprisingly familiar.  The frown disappeared to be replaced by a frightening smile as he continued reading.

            "_Very odd."_

***********  

Captain Holly Short yawned loudly as she headed toward the front door at the end of her shift.  True to Foaly's suspicions, Commander Root had not fired her over the Fowl incident.  He had screamed at her until she felt her pointy ears would explode, but he hadn't fired her.  Always a plus.  

The elf tip-toed past the door to Root's office and cringed slightly as the yelling inside increased.  A smash ended the roars, and a very miffed centaur trotted out, going fairly fast.  

"_Excuse me, Julius.  I may be the smartest fairy in Haven, but that doesn't mean I'm perfect.  All the time." _

"FOALY…"

"Fine, fine, I'm going."  The centaur turned sulkily and saw Holly.  His pout transformed into a grin instantly.  "Hey Holly, how are you?  Any interesting experiences lately?"

"No, not for awhile.  Everything's quiet." Holly replied.  Then she raised an eyebrow.  "Now, anyway.  It wasn't a moment ago."

"Oh, that."  Foaly rolled his eyes.  "The commander and I were holding our semi-annual 'argue about the lack of funds I have' discussion.  He still says I get too much money for what I produce."  He sniffed melodramatically.  "So unappreciated."

Holly patted his shoulder.  "We appreciate you, Foaly.  Fairies just don't understand you.  And if they don't understand you, then they just don't care." 

Foaly sighed.  "That doesn't raise my spirits immensely, but it makes sense."  He glanced at Holly, who was once again walking to the door.  "But you understand me, don't you, Holly?" 

Holly looked over her shoulder and smiled mischievously.  "Are you kidding?  No one understands you!"  She turned back, biting her lip to keep from laughing at Foaly's indignant expression.

The centaur snapped back before his brain completely thought out the insult and its effects.  "Oh, yeah?  Fowl always understood me.  What does that say about the all powerful, brainy Recon jocks like you, hmm?"  

Holly continued walking.  She didn't flinch at the barb.  She didn't trip in shock, she didn't miss one stride, she didn't moan, she didn't even shake her head.  But Foaly knew immediately that he had brought up memories better left buried.  Or wiped.

"Hey Holly, look-"

"Forget it, Foaly," she muttered as she walked out.  The door clanged shut behind her firmly, louder than usual.  Foaly sighed. 

"Open mouth, insert hoof." he said humorlessly.  "All four of them."

***********  

Artemis sat down coolly at the table, thinking over his plan.  Angeline mistook the calm expression as unhappiness.  

"Arty, are you that upset that we're leaving you here?" she asked.  "You look so sad." 

"No Mother, I'm not upset.  I'll be fine while you're gone.  Butler and Juliet will watch me." 

"Are you sure, son?" Artemis Senior questioned.  "We _are going to France.  I'm certain you could start school late and they wouldn't have any qualms."  That was true.  Angeline had recently moved Artemis to a new school, and the counselors there would gladly let Artemis miss the first couple days of school.  They'd prefer it if he never came.  _

"No, thank you Father.  I have a lot I want to do accomplish while you are gone this week."  Before his father could ask, Artemis continued.  "I've been asked to do a special project for the beginning of school."  

"Oh, how wonderful!" Angeline said cheerily.  "What about?"

"Artists of the Renaissance." Artemis lied.  

"We'll try to visit the Louvre for you then," Artemis Sr. said, "and take some pictures." 

"I would appreciate that." 

"Well, Arty, we need to go." Angeline picked up a huge bag.  "Is there at all you'll need?" 

"No, Mother, I'll be fine." Artemis reassured her.  

"We're leaving Butler here with you.  Juliet will drive us to the airport, then return.  Okay?"  Angeline handed her bag to Artemis Sr.  The weight almost pulled him off balance.  Angeline hugged Artemis Jr. briefly, and then let go.  "Be good, dear."

"Yes, Mother.  Goodbye, Father.  Have a good time." 

"You too, dear."

"Angeline, we must go.  We'll miss the flight and have to walk.  Wouldn't that be a wondrous way to start our second honeymoon?"

Angeline laughed slightly and blew a kiss to her son.  Then she and her husband walked out the door.  Artemis watched them go, totally impassive.  After the car pulled out the driveway, he turned back to Butler.  

"The Renaissance, Artemis?" the bodyguard said, looking unconvinced.  

"Come, Butler.  I have a plan for this week.  One that does _not involve Leonardo Da Vinci."  The boy headed to his room._

"And what would this plan be, Artemis?" Butler questioned. 

"It is amazing, Butler, and a plan I believed I started a while ago.  Ingenious, really."

"And if you started this plan earlier, why put it into action now?"  Butler was slightly confused.  So many strange things had been happening lately.  Was this another one of them?

Artemis walked into his room and sat down at his computer.  "Have you ever heard of fairies?" 

Butler nodded slowly.  Fairies…he almost felt as if he should know a lot more than he did.

"Yes, I have, sir.  Why?"

"I plan to exploit them." the teenager stated matter-of-factly.  

"Sir?  But, aren't fairies just a folk tale?"

Artemis turned to Butler and sighed quietly.  "That is what they want us to think.  But here, I have their secrets translated and exposed to use for my will.  It was all on that disk.  Here."  He swung the screen over to face the bodyguard.

Butler sat down and began to read the small print.  "Amazing," he breathed.  "It seems so real.  As if I've seen it before."

Artemis frowned.  "You as well?  I thought it seemed familiar, but it would, if I translated it.  The original writing is also on the disk.  The CD-R is encoded to my specifications, so I must have written the translation and made the disk.  I just don't know exactly where the source of the Booke came from or when I got it.  Or why I had to send it to myself through such an unsecured source as your friend via the postal service."

"What is your plan, Artemis?" Butler asked, abandoning the confusing subject in order for military tactics-something he could understand much better.

"It's quite simple.  In order for a fairy to replenish their power, they need to perform the Ritual.  It involves an ancient oak, a winding river and a full moon.  We want a fairy we can control, one that needs their magic to escape and doesn't have it.  So…"

"Where do we find the river and trees?" Butler asked.  Artemis frowned.

"I ran a search on the topographical map and found roughly 100 sites.  However, I think we should start at this one."  He pointed to an obscure place that was surrounded by fields and bogs.  Butler nodded.  There was something hauntingly familiar about it.  He knew it would yield results.  

"We need to stake it out.  Watch it closely on the full moon, which is…" 

Artemis smiled his vampire smile.  "Tomorrow."


	2. LEPRecons Have Bad Days, Too

**_DISCLAIMER: _**

**_**Holly is my friend,_**

**_She's an amazing fairy to know._**

**_But I don't own her or her friends, _**

**_I just plan out the show!!**_**

****

AN:  I'll make this quick, since I usually never read these.  A couple warnings:  

This story is not finished yet, and so, updates will probably not be even and frequent.  Just stay with me, I promise to finish.  I am writing with the help of my sister.  I am a big A/H fan, but she doesn't do romance, so don't expect any.  Note the lack of Romance in the Genre descriptions.  This has original characters in it.  One is a beautiful girl who is a big part in this adventure.  _However, this is NOT a Mary Sue.  I dislike those kinds of stories, and this will NOT be one.  I guarantee it.  _

**Chapter 2: LEPRecons Have Bad Days, Too**

Holly had been unwillingly roped into being extra security for the goblin transport to Howler's Peak.  She had to admit, however, it was the most exciting thing that had happened to her ever since she had returned from the surface.  

And the most annoying.

"Gosh, do all goblins smell this bad?" Corporal Grub Kelp said, making no effort to keep his voice down.  Holly sighed and looked at Grub's older brother, Captain Trouble Kelp.  Trouble shrugged.  Such help.

"Grub, could you just sit back and stay silent until we get there?  You're not helping." Holly hissed.  Grub pouted.  

"But Captain, I was asked to do this because the LEP thought I was the right fairy for the job.  After all, if I can face down a Mud Man, I can handle a couple of scrawny old goblins."  

Holly leaned over to Trouble.  "How do you handle him?" 

Trouble motioned to a set of earplugs firmly in place.  Captain Short resisted the urge to put her head in her hands.  Never again.  Grub was a bigger handful than these convicts. 

Speaking of Grub…

"Trouble!"  Holly snapped, tugging on his sleeve.  "Where's Grub?"  

"Hmm?" 

Holly pointed at his ears, and then made a gesture for removing them.  Trouble did so.  

"Yes, Holly, what is it?" 

"Grub is gone." 

"WHAAATTTT??" 

Holly winced.  "It's okay.  He was just here, he couldn't have gotten far.  After all, this isn't a very big shuttle.  It just has a couple holding cells.  And the front pilot cockpit."

Trouble stood, scanning the area in front of him.  "I'll go left; you go check out the cockpit.  While we're up, check the cells and make sure all the occupants are there." 

A snarl came from the right corridor.  Then came a tinny voice: "I can take whatever you can dish, you stupid smelly…thing!"

"What did you call me?"

The two Captains looked at each other and then headed down the right hall.  As they screeched to a halt in front of the last cell in that row, they were greeted with a horrible sight: one goblin had figured out some way to get free of his fireproof manacles and was slowly advancing on a now trembling Grub.  

"Tr-Tr-Trouble…" he whimpered.  Trouble pulled his laser, taking one step, then another.  

"Don't move." Captain Kelp ordered.  The goblin smiled stupidly.  Maybe getting out of its manacles had been luck.  

A fireball came blasting out of nowhere and narrowly missed Grub.  He wailed and pressed himself to the wall, finally getting his laser out of its holster. The goblin sharing the cell with the first was also free, and his hands were smoking.  

Holly leapt into action.  As Trouble began firing, trying to hit one of the rogue prisoners, she also started shooting.  As she shot, the elf ran over to a box on the wall.  It had a sleeping gas release lever in it, with the sleeping gas engineered to goblin DNA.  Like Koboi's DNA cannons, the gas would affect only goblins when activated.  In theory.  And Foaly had been wrong before.

She flipped over the cover, typing the code to gain access to the lever too fast and bungling it.  She started over again.

"Grub!" she shouted over the din.  "Don't just stand there, shoot!!" 

The elf started firing hesitantly, aiming at absolutely nothing.  One of the two goblins noticed the very slight threat he presented and began to work on another fireball.  Grub didn't notice the goblin, though.

"Grub!" Holly yelled again, and missed a number again.  "D'Arvit.  _Grub_!"  The younger elf ignored her.  Trouble, however, didn't.

He noted Grub's position to where the goblin was aiming his fireball, realized the danger to his little brother, and acted accordingly.  

He jumped in between.

The fireball enveloped him, finally gaining Grub's attention.  

"NO!"  Grub started firing harder, aiming at the two goblins instead of all over like before.  He was shaking again, but it was from repressed anger.  "TROUBLE!"

Holly punched the last number and was rewarded with a lever, which she yanked promptly.  Blue gas flooded the halls.  Goblin bodies began to thump to the floor.  

As it cleared, Holly rushed back to Grub, who was at his brother's side.  "Trouble." he whispered.  "Are you okay?"

The unlucky elf coughed soot.  His skin was badly burned and he was deadly pale beneath multiple lacerations.  His hair, however, had escaped totally unscathed and unsinged.  Holly decided to muse on that oddity later.  

Trouble looked up at her.  "I-I've been better.  But I'll be okay.  How are you doing?" 

"Trouble, lie still." Holly interrupted.  Contrary to what the elf was saying, he was badly hurt.   "I'm going to try to heal you."  At her words, Trouble began to sit up.  

"Don't worry about it, H-Holly.  I'm fine." 

"Right.  And I'm Foaly's new girlfriend." Holly muttered, pushing him back down.  "Hold still!"  The fairy laid her hands on the captain's chest.  

"Heal." she breathed.  Blue sparks began to travel up and down Trouble's body, joining the ones that had been rushing to his help earlier.  

After a few minutes, Trouble was breathing deeply, in a heavy sleep.  His skin was much better, and he looked almost as good as new.  Holly, on the other hand, was as pale and trembling as Grub had been earlier.  

After that incident, the goblins slept the rest of the way to Howler's Peak, as did Trouble.  Holly didn't sleep; she just sat and conserved her energy.  As she did, she watched Grub out of the corner of her eye.  He sat stiffly, and just a little taller than before.  Seeing his brother almost die for him had been a moving experience.  He would never be the same.  Holly knew it.  

They got the goblins delivered safely, and headed back quietly.  After arriving, Holly headed to Root's office.  

"Sir," she said, snapping to attention, "Section 15 of the goblin prisoners has been transported to Howler's Peak.  There was a light disturbance, but we released the DNA sleeping gas on board.  The gas worked effectively, and we brought everything back under control.  All in all, it was okay." 

"Sit." Root commanded.  Holly sank into a chair.  "Captain," Root began, "you look awful.  What really happened?" 

"Captain Kelp got caught in a fireball protecting Corporal Kelp.  I had to heal him."  Holly tried unsuccessfully to shield a yawn.  "Sorry, sir." 

Root studied her for a few more seconds, then leaned forward and typed something.  

"There." he said.  "You have clearance to go up to the surface and perform the Ritual.  Judging from your complexion, you need it."

"Sir, I'm fine.  Really.  I can go without the Ritual for-"

"For what?  Four years?  Like last time?  Did you really believe I was going to let you pull that again?  Go do the Ritual, and do it _now._"  Root's face was starting to turn a deep red.  Holly decided it was better to agree than to fight.  

"Yes, sir."  She saluted and walked out.  As Root watched her leave, he noticed that she wasn't walking in a straight line.  "Yep, she needs that magic." he murmured.  

Holly climbed onto the shuttle and dozed through the ride to the surface.  After arriving, she again chose to skip over Tara and head to the spot she had approached a few years ago, where it had all started.  The spot where Artemis Fowl Junior first found a fairy.  Her.  Such an honor.

"Well, let's get this over with." she whispered as she shouldered her wings.  

***********  

Artemis Fowl and Butler were wedged into a small spot, watching the tree in front of them intently.  They had brought an older invention of Artemis's, a blind that conserved heat energy from sensors.  If any animal that came by depended on sensing heat to pinpoint other animals, they would be safe.  That included fairy technology.  

Butler studied his charge.  The teenager was quiet, and looked slightly strained.  Gently, he laid a hand on his shoulder.  It almost felt as if he'd done it before.

"Artemis," he said, words automatically leaping to his lips, I realize it's not my place, but I know there's something wrong.  And if there's anything I can do to help…"

Artemis looked up at Butler, and unbidden, words came to his mind.  _It's my mother, __Butler__.  I'm beginning to wonder if she'll ever..._

The young teen frowned.  But he wasn't worried about his mother.  She was perfectly fine.  

"Actually, Butler, there is.  I feel like this is so familiar.  Almost like we've tried to capture a fairy before.  But, if we had, I would have remembered it.  So why is this so confusing?" 

Butler opened his mouth to answer when a beep interrupted him.  He turned to see a figure coming in.  It was vibrating so quickly it was invisible, like Artemis had thought, but the heat sensors in the shielding tent informed them of the approaching fairy.  

"Here we go." he whispered to the boy.  Artemis smirked slightly.  

The figure set down gently in front of the tree and stopped vibrating.  It was short, but it had the wrong proportions for a child.  Definitely not human.  

The fairy didn't do anything.  It just stood there and stared at the moon.  It seemed to be thinking of something.  Artemis nodded to Butler.  The bodyguard picked up the tranquilizer gun and steadied it at the figure.  For some reason, he kept expecting the fairy to bend down when he fired.  Thinking it through completely, he realized that waiting would allow the fairy to get away.  But it looked so human…

Pushing away the misgivings, and the feelings of déjà vu, he pulled the trigger.  


	3. Here We Go Again

**_ DISCLAIMER: _**

**_** Butler is my friend,_**

**_He's big and really tough.  _**

**_But he's not mine you see, _**

**_So don't make my life rough!!**_**

**Chapter 3: Here We Go Again**

Holly landed at the peaceful site with a quiet thump.  She should grab her acorn and get out of there immediately, but she didn't.  Instead, she stared at the magical full moon.  She was in no hurry.  After all, no one else knew of this site except the infamous Artemis Fowl.  And he would never remember it.  

She blinked her eyes furiously, trying to wipe away the memories and the tears.  Holly had _never_ cried over Artemis, and she was not going to start now.  He wasn't worth it.  Like Foaly had said, how can you be friends with a viper?  

Holly straightened her shoulders.  No more.  She had mourned-_Mourn?  Who would mourn over him? -for long enough.  It was time to get back on track.  No more wishing they could have continued knowing of one another.  It was over.  She would go back to how she had been before meeting Artemis Fowl Junior.  Perfectly normal.  She nodded once decisively.  She would forget ever meeting the Mud Boy. _

A dart hit her firmly between her shoulders.  

Holly jerked.  The pain was slight, and this tranquilizer was taking effect fast.  She turned in time to see a tall, bulky Mud Man and a small, skinny, pale boy step out of their hiding place.  Two very, very _familiar Mud Men.  _

"D'Arvit.  Not again."  Her voice was slurred, and she shook her head, trying to clear it.  The boy smiled a very memorable smile.  

"Don't bother, fairy.  You are ours." 

His voice was too recognizable.  The same snobbish might and power resonated in the tones.  As Holly lost consciousness and sank to the ground, she mumbled out one word.

"Artemis…" 

***********  

Artemis blinked in shock as the fairy muttered his name.  He stared down at the helmeted figure.  How could it have known…?  He shook away that thought and picked up the fairy.  Instead of handing the unconscious fairy to Butler, as he should have, he cradled it in his arms. "I'll carry." he said.  "You have all the other gear to transport." 

Butler frowned.  "Artemis, I can carry such a small figure easily." 

"It will only get in your way.  No matter how much you protest, I know you are glad of the respite.  I will be perfectly fine." 

Butler nodded.  It had been very hard to haul all the equipment across to the site.  He didn't need the extra weight.  "If you are sure, sir."  He picked up the tent and began packing it.  

Artemis studied the fairy in his arms and reached down to the fairy's helmeted head.  He disconnected a little wire in front.  A voice inside his head told him it was connected to a camera, and he frowned.  It _could_ be a camera, but he was so sure.  Like he knew this from experience.  

And in his unconscious brain, memories fought wildly to be freed from their imprisonment.  He was so close to total recall.  He just needed to see something to shock him, to jerk those memories free.   Just one thing…

Artemis shrugged and followed Butler to the car. 

***********  

            Foaly sat at his computer, feeling very bored.  Holly had headed up to perform the Ritual, and wouldn't be back for a long while.  While she was gone, he had no one to talk to.  Well, there was Root, but he was still stewing over the discussion the two had shared earlier.  

Now that he thought about it, Holly may not be too happy to talk to Foaly either.  She tended to hold grudges, and Foaly knew he had made her mad as well.  Both of his friends angry within the space of five minutes.  Such talent.  

            Foaly sighed and logged onto his computer.  From there, he connected to Holly's personal frequency.  He wanted to talk so badly.  Maybe if he apologized while she couldn't see him, she'd take him seriously for once. 

            No one answered the hail.  He called again, and was rewarded with the sound of the mike being disconnected.  The centaur frowned.  How dare she!  What if that had been something important?  What an airhead.  

            Foaly sat back in his chair and resorted to his last, desperate attempt to stay busy.  He pulled up a game of FreeCell.  One of the few things humans ever got right.  Well, that and carrot cake.

***********

            Artemis looked down at the body when the helmet started to beep.  After a moment, he realized it was a hailing device.  Annoyed, he reached to the back of the helmet and pulled the battery from its niche.  While gazing at the nuclear power source in great interest, he paused.  He had known exactly where the battery was.  This was starting to get very strange.  

            Still, Artemis shrugged it off to his great genius and the fact that any half cooked idiot would store the battery in that place, near the back of the neck.  It was harder for enemies to remove that way.  

            He continued to study the fairy's possessions, including its belt and watch.  The watch caught his interest, and as he examined it closer, he noticed something.  

            "A miniature tracking device." he murmured.  "How intriguing."   After a few seconds of pondering, he decided to leave it on until they reached Fowl Manor.  If the fairies decided to track him, that was fine.  It would let the opposition do all the work, after all.  And if they had to track the captive, they would be confident that Artemis had no idea about the extent of their technology.  And in Artemis's case, that would be a blessing.  The teenager enjoyed being underestimated.  It made for a much more rewarding victory.  

AN: Not as long a chapter as usual, I know.  Sorry, but it was a good stopping point, and the chapters will be getting longer.  Most likely.  Anyway, thanks for all the reviews so far; I really appreciate the feed back.  Expect the new chapter in a few days.  And sorry about the lame disclaimer.  I'm having problems thinking up rhymes.  It's not in my blood.  


	4. Memories and Mindwipes

**_DISCLAIMER: _**

**_** Cmdr. Root is my friend,_**

**_He's such a patient soul, (ha, ha)_**

**_But no, he's not my property, _**

**_After all, he's a little too old!!**_**

**Chapter 4: Memories and Mindwipes**

Holly woke up slowly in a cement cell.  A very _familiar cement cell.  _

            "Bad dream." she murmured as she looked around the room blearily.  "Please, let this be a very bad dream." 

            "I'm afraid that's not possible." 

            Holly scanned the room for the voice, and was disappointed to see no person, only a speaker and a camera.  The voice was highly distorted; she couldn't tell if it was Artemis or Butler.  

            "Look," she said, standing up, "you don't understand.  This is not a good idea." 

            "I disagree." 

            "Why, listen up, you slimy little Mud Boy.  I can't believe you pulled this again!  How could you even think of-"

            "Again?"

            Holly froze.  Oops.  Wrong thing to say.  "I, um…"

            Before she could say anything else, the door to her cell swung open.  Framed in it stood a very smug, very memorable Mud Boy.  He was wearing mirrored sunglasses.  

            "Thank you for keeping our guest occupied, Butler." Artemis Fowl said smoothly.  

            Holly stared at him.  Before she could straighten out her thoughts completely, she spoke.  "I am going to kill you."  
            Artemis raised an eyebrow.  "Pardon?" 

            The fairy yanked off her helmet and dropped it to the ground.  Shaking out her red hair, she bared her teeth at the boy.  "I said, I am going to kill you.  Did you really _have to kidnap me?  Again?  Was it some cruel trick of fate, or were you specifically out for _me_?"_

            Artemis stared at the elf.  Not male, like he had thought, but female.  She was short, with auburn hair, dark skin and an apparently short temper.  And she looked…so…familiar…

            And with that thought, the memories trapped in Artemis's mind were yanked free.

_"Stay back, human.  You don't know what you're dealing with."_

_                        "Getting ideas are we, Captain Short?"_

_                        "Oh really.  Tell me, boy, have you ever met a troll?"_

_"That's right, rich boy.  You're on your own this time."_

_"Really, Holly, is that necessary?"_

_"Holly.  Holly, speak to me.  Your finger.  Is it okay?"_

_"Do I look like a flyboy to you, Fowl?"_

_"Don't think I'm getting chummy, or anything.  It's just that when I give my word, I stick to it."_

_"I…I made a mistake."_

_"No, you keep it, to remind you."_

_"To remind me?"_

_"To remind you that deep beneath the layers of deviousness, you have a spark of decency.  Perhaps you can blow on that spark occasionally."_

             Holly watched as Artemis jerked his head to one side, closing his eyes in apparent pain.  "Holly…" he whispered.  "Captain Holly Short of the Lower Elements Police…" 

            Holly gasped when she heard that phrase.  Her tag had her name and rank on it, yes, but nothing about the LEP.  That meant he had to _remember it.  Her hand flew up to her mouth.  Somehow, she had triggered a recall of Artemis's memories.  Maybe it just wasn't total.  She could always hope, right?_

            After another minute, Artemis relaxed slightly, turned back to Holly and calmly removed his sunglasses.  His eyes flickered in recognition and slight amusement.  She closed her eyes and sighed.  There went any hope of salvaging the situation.

            Artemis walked over to the camera in the corner and flipped it off.  Then he turned back to the Captain.   

            "Hello, Holly." the Mud Boy deadpanned.  "Did you miss me so much you decided to let yourself get captured?" 

            A fist crashed into his jaw as an answer.  

            Artemis rubbed his cheek calmly.  "All right, I deserved that." he admitted.

            "You certainly did!" Holly snapped, anger chasing all reason out of her mind.  "I thought you had changed.  I thought that we could mindwipe you and go back to our old lives and everything would be the same again.  But _no_, the all mighty Artemis had to go and try to kidnap a fairy AGAIN!  And it had to be me!  For heaven's sake, Mud Boy, are you _trying to make me hurt you?"_

            "I suppose you wouldn't believe me if I said no."

            Holly bit down on her lip hard, trying to contain the scream of pure fury.  _Why_ was he more infuriating now than before? 

            "What exactly do you remember?" she asked.  The smirk she received was more than enough of an answer.  The elf moaned quietly and bent her head.  Root was going to kill her.  Heck, he wasn't just going to kill her; he would _mutilate_ her.  

            "Holly," Artemis said, bending down to her level, "Just how much trouble is this going to cause?"

            "Enough that I'm trying to decide how guilty I would feel if I shot you here and now." 

            Artemis gestured to her belt with a blank expression.  "You could try…"

            Holly looked down to see her equipment belt missing.  She clenched her hands into fists and imagined wringing the boy's neck.  "Fowl…" 

            "You being here _is_ a complete accident, Holly." 

            "An accident!"  Holly stood and began pacing, still talking.  "It was just an accident you knew of the fairies at all; it was just an accident Butler shot me; it was just an _accident_ you kidnapped me.  Again, might I add?!"  She spun.  "Tell me, what made you think of a kidnapping so soon and how did you get ready so quickly?  Before, you told me it took ages to find the Book." 

            Artemis brushed the bangs out of his face.  "Let's just say I had another copy lying around."

            Holly stared at him for a second.  "Another copy." she echoed.

            "Yes."

            She threw her hands in the air.  "I cannot _believe you!" the elf exploded.  "You _told_ us we had gotten all the files you had on fairies!  You _told_ us!" _

            "Root didn't believe me." he said mildly, not meeting the furious fairy's eyes.

            **_"I did!"_ **

            Artemis looked up with a momentary flash of surprise in his eyes and stared at Holly openly.  She glared back at him for a second, and then froze when what she said finally sank in.

            "Um…" 

            "You believed me?" Artemis echoed.  

            "To an extent." Holly admitted.  "You said that we had gotten everything when I had _mesmer_ized you, so I assumed you were telling the truth."  She stopped as Artemis looked down.  Even while looking away, he could sense her growing suspicions, and underneath, her anger.  "I **did _mesmer_ize you, didn't I?"**

            "To an extent." 

            Holly flopped back onto the bed, all her anger totally spent.  "I hate you." she muttered.  

            "I believe it." Artemis replied, rubbing his jaw.  

            "Okay, fine.  You have your memory back, which is what you wanted all along; though I know you didn't remember it until now.  So, can I go?"

            "Actually…"

            Holly sat back up again.  Artemis was standing at the edge of the bed, looking a little nervous.  This made perfect sense, because Holly was planning to rip his head off.  

            "What do you mean, 'actually…'?" the elf asked slowly.

            "I want you to answer a question." 

            "What question?" Holly responded.  Artemis looked her straight in the eye.  

            "If I let you go, would you inform Root and Foaly that I had regained my memory?"

            Holly blinked.  "I, I have to.  It's required."

            "Even if I was certain you would have nothing to fear from me?" 

            "The last time I trusted you, you lied to me." Holly snapped.  "Why should I believe you now?"

            "Holly…I don't want to use you as leverage with the LEP."

            "WHAT!" Holly yelled.  "Are you threatening to hold me hostage if Root decides you need mindwiped again?" 

            "No," Artemis said coolly.  "Just informing you of the remote possibility." 

            Holly lost it.

            "I cannot believe I actually _regretted_ mindwiping you!" she shouted.  "You don't deserve one _ounce_ of my sympathy!"

            Artemis was floored by this statement, though he didn't show it.  "You regretted mindwiping me?" he echoed.  

            Holly reddened slightly.  "No.  Whatever gave you that idea?"

            "Why, Holly.  I didn't know you cared."  The smirk on Artemis's face was enough to wipe away any embarrassment Holly may have felt.

            "I don't." she snapped.  

            It was then that Butler walked in on the scene with his mirrored sunglasses.  He was panting slightly, having hurried down after Artemis had turned the camera off.  If the fairy had tried anything, he would rip the individual limb from limb.  Even if it took all his strength.  

"Artemis, you have spent a very long time down here with the prisoner.  Is something wrong…?"

            He stopped.  The prisoner was standing with her hands on her hips, yelling furiously at Butler's charge.  Artemis, on the other hand, was totally at ease with the situation, and had his arms crossed causally over his chest.  A slight smirk was on his face.  The entire scene was so…familiar…

_"Sooner or later, Spiro will find out about the People.  And if that happens, I can't see a man like him just allowing us to live in harmony."_

_"Remind you of anyone?"_

_"I am nothing like Jon Spiro.  He's a cold-blooded killer!"_

_"Give yourself a few years.  You'll get there."  ___

_"My advice to you, big man, is to curl up in a ball."_

_            "I'll try to remember that.  You two try not to kill each other while I'm gone." _

_"Evening, gentlemen."_

_            "Well, Corporal, tell your Commander that the next time I see armed forces coming in here, they'll be picked off by sniper fire." _

_            "__Butler__, we have a guest."_

_            "Yeah, yeah.  Real scary.  Now just back out of the door and I won't have to cut you into little pieces." _

_                        "Thank you, Artemis.  We were in trouble there for a moment.  If it hadn't been for the captain…"_

_            "Yes.  I saw.  Healing, one of the fairy arts.  I wonder why she did it." _

_            "I wonder too.  We certainly didn't deserve it." _

_"Fairy, I know you're there.  Unshield or I start shooting."_

_            "Listen, Foaly.  Time is of the essence.  Mister Fowl's life could hang in the balance.  Now get to the point before I start breaking things."_

Holly glanced back at the bodyguard and did a double take.  He was staring straight ahead at nothing.  His eyes were blank.  Then Butler grimaced and jerked his head to one side.  "I…know you." he whispered. 

            Panic washed through Holly.  "No," she said.  "Nonononono."  The smirk on Artemis's face widened.  This was starting to become…interesting.  

            Holly could see her career dwindling away, along with her life span.  The one good thing was that the situation would probably trigger Root's perpetually impending heart attack.  Maybe she could get him before he got her.  

            Butler blinked and looked up.  "I remember." he said, glancing over at Holly and Artemis.  "I remember…everything."  A look of horror crossed his face.  "Did Mulch really donate that fat?"  

            Holly put her head in her hands.  "Dead.  I am _so_ dead." 

AN: Very long chapter that stops abruptly, because…well, I decided to stop it there.  Anyway, thanks so much to everyone who has reviewed; I love hearing about what you think should happen next.  Compliments are always nice, too.  Next chapter may not be for a couple days.  Sorry in advance.  


	5. An Unpleasant Surprise

**_DISCLAIMER:_**

**_**Juliet is my friend,_**

**_A kind and caring soul,_**

**_She does not belong to me,_**

**_But she's worth her weight in gold!**_**

**Chapter 5: An Unpleasant Surprise**

Artemis studied the distraught elf and felt a wave of ….was it possibly _guilt_?  He was the cause of this, after all.  But maybe, if they didn't yet know she was here…

            "Holly," he said, gaining her attention, "Do you have some way to see if the LEP has noticed your disappearance yet?"  

            "I'll need my equipment, but… yes, I think so.  Why?"  Hope glimmered on the officer's face.  "You think that we can convince them this never happened?" she asked.

            Artemis shrugged.  "Yes…we can mindwipe the Council." he proposed sarcastically.  

            "Let's just kill them." came Butler's calm suggestion.  Holly buried her head in her hands again.  

            "I hate you _both_."  

            Artemis ignored her last comment and motioned for the two to follow him.  "This way." he said and turned to Butler.  "How are you, old friend?"

            "A little confused." Butler responded.  "Did both of us manage to regain our memories completely?"

            "Much to the captain's displeasure." Artemis replied smoothly, and cast a look towards Holly.  She glared back at him.  

            They arrived in the study where Artemis had stored the fairy technology to look at later.  Holly scanned everything quickly and then picked up her helmet.  She flicked the mike on.  And nothing happened.

            "Hmm.  That's odd."  A closer examination revealed that something very important was missing.  "Mud Boy, where's the battery?"  

            "I removed it so the fairies couldn't track your helmet locator."  

            "My helmet doesn't have a locator."  

            "As of two hours ago, how was I supposed to know that?"  

            Holly sighed and held out her hand.  She didn't have to say anything.  Artemis placed the tiny battery in her palm.  She inserted it into the appropriate groove and, after scanning through the mike frequencies quickly, discovered that no one was trying to contact her at the present moment.  That either meant that they hadn't noticed her missing yet, or they were already on their way.  

            "How long was I out?" she asked.  

            "Long enough to get you from the site to here.  You woke a few moments after we arrived."  

            Holly took a deep breath.  "Well, since I haven't been gone for very long, they probably haven't noticed yet."  She studied the Mud Boy with a wary eye.  "Although I should leave as soon as possible…"   

            A phone rang in the background, shattering the tense silence.  A moment later, Juliet's voice came over the intercom.  "Artemis, it's your parents on line 1."  

            Artemis frowned.  "They shouldn't be calling yet.  It's only been a few days."  

            "Yeah, where are your parents, anyway?"  Holly asked as she went through her equipment belt.  "And where is my Neutrino?"  

            "France."  Artemis muttered absentmindedly as he picked up the phone.    

            "WHAT!!!!" 

            "Mister and Mistress Fowl, Holly, not the gun." Butler soothed, pulling the weapon from his belt.  Holly held out her hand impatiently, and he reluctantly gave it back.  He eyed the elf warily as she expertly checked the weapon, just in case she decided to put a precise hole through his charge's head for making her life such a misery.  Again.  As usual.  

            "Hello?" Artemis said, placing the call on speakerphone for Butler to hear.  

            "Hi, sweetie.  Hello, Butler." Angeline chirped.  "I know we're calling a bit earlier than expected, but Timmy and I have something to tell you two."  

            "Really?"  The teenager did not sound pleased.  

            "Yes.  You see, Arty, your father and I have been talking about this for months now, ever since he returned home, and we've finally got all the paperwork in order.  It's actually one of the reasons we decided to go to France." 

"You bought the Eiffel Tower and are having it moved here over the weekend?" Artemis inquired blandly.  

                "_No_, Arty.  You see, you may think this silly and impulsive at first, but I think you'll consider it worthwhile.  I know it will help with your…communication skills."

            "Mother, you didn't buy stock in Jon Spiro's communication company, did you?  I told you not to."

            "No dear, we didn't.  Actually, I checked the stock a while ago, and the price has dropped dramatically.  Their miraculous new technology has never appeared, and it appears that Jon Spiro has been checked into a private clinic for the…disturbed."  There was a brief pause.  Artemis could practically _see his mother connecting his advice with Spiro's untimely incapacitation.  _

            "Is that why you told me not to buy?  Did you know about this in advance, Arty?"  Holly was trying hard to mask her chuckles.  Even Butler was grinning.  

            "No, Mother.  I did not."  

            "Oh.  I see."

            "So, what is this great surprise?" Artemis asked patiently.  

            "Well…we're coming home early…"

            "All right." Artemis said, mentally planning how long it would take him to put all his affairs in order.  And hide his newest projects.  

            "And…we're bringing home a foreign exchange student." 

            Artemis's mouth fell open, and for one of the very few times in his life, he was speechless.  Holly could contain herself no longer.  She started laughing quietly, shoulders shaking as she attempted to control her mirth.  Artemis spared her a warning glare.  Butler shushed her.

            "Artemis?  I know this is a surprise, but…are you okay?"

            "Fine, Mother." Artemis said through clenched teeth.  "Just slightly surprised."  He glared at Holly again, who had shrunk from her normal three foot to about half that as she doubled over laughing.  "Holly, be quiet." he hissed.

            "Arty, are you sure you're okay?" 

            "Yes, Mother." he repeated.  "A foreign exchange student?"  

            "Yes, Arty.  We're coming home tonight, so you'll get to meet her then."

            "Her?"  Artemis echoed.  He could feel a headache starting.  "A girl?"

            "A girl." his mother confirmed.  "A very sweet girl, by the name of Simone.  She lives with her mother.  Her father is a high official in Interpol.  Isn't that interesting?"

            The mention of Interpol had drained the blood from Butler's face, and Artemis looked paler than ever.  If the girl had ambitions like her father, or even if she conferred much with her father during her stay, she had the potential to cause major problems.  

            "Arty?"  The teen wrenched his mind from thoughts of damage control and back to his mother.

            "Yes, Mother?"  

            "Your father said to let this be a surprise, but I went ahead and called because hearing something like this can be a shock, no matter how wondrous it is.  Was it a good idea to call?"

"Yes, it was, Mother." 

"Good, I'm glad.  You can get used to the idea of having another person around the house.  After all, it will be a big change, almost like having a sister.  Isn't this exciting?!"

Artemis said nothing.  Luckily, his mother didn't notice his silence.

"We'll be coming home as soon as we can, so tell Juliet to be at the airport at 10:00 tonight.  Okay?"

            "Yes, Mother."  

            "Don't sound so enthused, Arty!" Angeline admonished.  "And do try to vary your vocabulary a bit more.  When you 'Yes, Mother' me all the time, I get worried.  Anyway, she's a wonderful girl.  You'll get along very well; I know it."

            "_Of course, Mother." Artemis said, rubbing the bridge of his nose.  "I'll see you tonight."_

            "All right, Arty.  Bye!"  She hung up, and Artemis resisted the urge to drop his head onto his arms.  Instead he glared at Holly, who was still laughing.

            "You…should have…seen…your face!" she gasped out between her laughter.

            "I fail to see the amusement in this situation." the teen said stiffly.  Holly took several deep breaths and calmed down, and she tried to keep the smile off her face.  She failed.  Miserably.

            "It was the first expression I've ever seen on your face other than amusement and relief." she said.  "It was the most interesting mixture of horror, fear, and nausea."  

            Artemis sighed and tossed the fairy her wings.  Holly yelped as she caught the delicate machinery just before it hit the parquet floor of the study.

            "Watch it, Mud Boy!  These are expensive!" she snarled as she checked the wings for damage.  There was none, of course.  The great Artemis Fowl would never abuse technology that he hadn't taken apart and learned to duplicate first.   "Really, don't take your frustrations out on me."  Artemis raised his eyebrows at her words, his face an impassive mask.  

            "I am not frustrated, Holly.  Just…surprised."  

            "I think that was obvious." The elf said, grinning as she remembered the look on his face.  

            Artemis sighed again and turned to Butler.  "Will you ask Juliet to get one of the guest bedrooms ready, and be ready to pick up my parents at 10?"  

            Butler nodded.  "Any particular room?" he asked, his voice deliberately devoid of any amusement he might have found in the situation.  

            "No.  Just pick one…wait, put her in one of the east bedrooms."  Butler nodded and strode out of the door.  Without another word, Artemis shut down the study computer and also headed for the door.  Holly activated her wings and followed.

            "What's the significance of an eastern bedroom?" she asked innocently.  Artemis ignored her and headed for his room.  On the western most side of the manor.  

            "Oh." she said knowingly.  "Don't want to be any closer to the common teen than necessary, hmm?"  She got the distinct pleasure of seeing Artemis's shoulders tense, and he turned.

            "I thought you had to leave as soon as possible?" he asked pointedly.  

Holly shrugged.  "You're right.  I really do need to complete the Ritual and check back in before Foaly figures out I'm not answering my comm."  She turned.  "I guess I'll see you later, Mud Boy."   With that, the fairy flew off down the hall, heading for the side door.  

            Artemis waited until he heard the door slam before continuing toward his room.  It was strange that the fairy had left with so little fuss.  He had been expecting her to be a little bit more upset about the situation.  However, it wasn't like he was _purposely trying to ruin her career.  Maybe, hopefully, the captain understood that…  _

Artemis opened the door to his room, and an auburn haired elf hung two inches from his nose.  

            "By the way, I'm still mad at you for kidnapping me.  Again."  Holly announced, and then disappeared out the open window.  And left, this time.     

AN:  And so, the plot twist appears.  This will either cause all people to become hooked for life, or get disgusted and leave.  Don't worry, Simone will not be a very likable character.  Think…Dorothy Catalonia.  

Anyway, is it just me, or are the disclaimers getting progressively worse?  To all the reviewers, thanks for your comments.  Here are separate letters (comments, answers, whatever) to each person.  

**To the Reviewer:  I appreciate your suggestions.  I like the one about Amnesty International.  However, there was a copy of the Booke in the Swiss vault; it said so in the first book.  Besides, I figure Eoin Colfer will do the medallion with Mulch in the 4th book.**

**To huntress: Sorry about accessing the account from the internet; I don't have a Swiss bank account, so I didn't know if you could do that.  What the hey.  Also, I don't understand the comment about anonymous guests.  Please explain??  And Foaly's virus worked, I guess.  I just decided that it wouldn't apply to the Swiss bank account.  After all, if I decided it did, I wouldn't have a story!**

**To ArtemisFowlWorld:  Thanks.  I really appreciate the enthusiasm!**

**To Spirit of the Autumn:  I'm glad _someone_ likes the poems.**

**To Roxanna:  Sorry, no A/H in this.  I'm writing with my sister, who's not into that.  Sorry.  **

**To The Wolf Child:  With all respect, you sound a _little_ loopy.  Anyway, thanks for the encouragement.  It's nice to know people think I'm portraying characters correctly.  **

**To MysticAngel:  Go read the Eternity Code.  _Now!_**

**To Thorned Rose:  Thank you for the congrats.  I'm glad you enjoy it.  **

**To Abigail Nicole:  My story is an addiction…I like it.  Thanks!**

**To charliegirl:  Thanks for the review.  Keep reading, it gets better!  (Well, _I think it gets better.)_**

**To violomana:  Sorry about beating you to the punch.  And I wanted Holly to stimulate Artemis's memory, so I wrote the Booke as not strong enough for a recall.  **

**To Jenni:  Thanks for the praise.  I'm working on writing more ASAP, so just keep reading!**

Again, thanks to everyone.  I love all your suggestions.  If you ever want to ask me anything in great detail, email me.  I'll email you back and try to give you an answer.  


	6. Enter the Inspector's Daughter

**_DISCLAIMER: _**

**_Too tired to think of a funky poem right now, read the others and don't sue!!_**

**Chapter 6: Enter the Inspector's Daughter**

Before Juliet left to pick up the Fowls, Artemis had sat her down and showed her the Book, and told her of Holly.  Nothing had helped her, until he had pulled out a picture of the Spiro Needle.  The first word out of her mouth had been 'Mulch.'  Apparently the dwarf had made an impression on her.   

Artemis also copied the Book file again and scattered them throughout his hard drive, saving them as school projects.  Hopefully, if the LEP tried to mindwipe him again, they'd miss one.  Of course, if Holly really did trust him, he might not need it.  But Artemis had never been able to understand Holly and her mind completely.  The precaution had taken several hours; his parents would most likely be home soon.

            A clatter downstairs informed the teen that his guess had been correct.  He dutifully left his computer and walked to the front hall, so he could say hello.  Maybe if he made a good impression, this Simone would leave him alone for the rest of her stay.  

            Right.  And Root was going to grant him an honorary membership to the LEP.  

            Juliet and Butler were standing with the suitcases, looking vaguely uncomfortable.  Angeline and Artemis Sr. were smiling widely, pointing out various things in the hall, including a set of slightly dented armor that brought a small smile to Artemis's face.  And the girl stood calmly, taking it all in.  

            She was beautiful.  Long blonde hair cascaded down to the middle of her back in loose waves.  Her face shape was thin and narrow.  She was tall, skinny, and slightly tan, with long arms and delicate hands.  It almost seemed as though she would break in half if a breeze pushed her over too far.  Her eyes were brown, surrounded by thick lashes, and full of apparent boredom.  To sum it all up, she was breathtakingly gorgeous.  

            Artemis was unimpressed.  

            "Where is that boy?" Angeline murmured, spinning around and scanning the hall.  "I'm certain he heard us; Artemis pays attention to almost everything." she said to Simone.  The girl nodded, glancing around the huge place.  

            "Yes, Mother, I heard you." Artemis said calmly as he descended the last few stairs.  Angeline and Artemis Sr. turned, looking slightly surprised.  Angeline then rushed up and hugged her son, much to his dismay.

            "Hello, Arty!" she sang out happily.  Artemis closed his eyes briefly and camouflaged his sigh with a cough.  

            "Oh, sorry, dear!"  His mother released him, then turned and gestured grandly to the girl.  "Artemis, I would like you to meet Simone Badeau.  Simone, this is my son, Artemis Fowl the Second."

            Artemis extended a hand politely.  "Bonjour, mademoiselle." he said in perfect French.  

            The girl took his hand and gave him a cold look.  "You need not bother with speaking my native language." she said sweetly.  A little too sweetly.  "I most likely speak better English than you do." 

            The Irish teen nodded once and let go of her hand.  "I will let you continue believing that fantasy."

            "Ahem." Artemis Sr. interrupted.  "Artemis, why don't you show Simone the house, and then take her to her room?"  Artemis turned to glance at his father with one eyebrow raised in surprise.  "And try to be a little nicer." his father hissed.  Artemis successfully controlled the urge to roll his eyes and turned back to Simone.  

            "Follow me." he said, and began walking.  Simone glanced back at the two parents, who smiled at her encouragingly.  She followed, albeit reluctantly.  

            The tour included the regular rooms in any house, plus a few of the odder rooms present in a manor, including a pool room and a library.  Simone just walked along behind Artemis quietly and studied his profile.  The boy seemed quiet, withdrawn and fairly snotty.  Who knew what he was hiding under that still façade.  Of course, he was a Fowl.  And she knew about the Fowls.  

            After a while, they came to the upstairs.  Simone stopped when Artemis walked past his room without saying anything.  She glanced in quickly, craning her neck to see in the crack between the door and the frame.  There was a high tech computer, along with a laptop, and a bunch of equipment that looked fairly familiar.  Almost like hacker equipment.  Was this boy a hacker…?

            The crack closed firmly, surprising her.  She turned to gaze into Artemis's dark blue eyes.  He looked perfectly calm on the surface, but she could see the slight annoyance in his eyes.  

            "That is my room.  I would appreciate any efforts you made to stay out of it." he said.  Simone sniffed, backing away.

            "I was just interested.  Why, is there something in there you want to hide?" she prodded.  Artemis didn't twitch one muscle.  

            "There is nothing I need to hide except my need for privacy.  I plan to stay as far away from your room as possible during your stay; it's only courteous if you did the same to me." 

            The two stood glaring at one another for several seconds before Simone spoke.  "I don't trust you, Fowl.  Crime has been prominent in your family's bloodline for generations." 

            "You will excuse me if your opinion does not matter overly much to me." Artemis returned.

            "Um, Artemis?"  The boy looked over at Juliet, who had just rounded the corner and was looking slightly surprised with the way he and Simone had been talking to one another.  "I hate to break this up, but I just talked to-"

            "Hello." Simone interrupted, much to Artemis's silent dismay and Juliet's astonishment.  She stepped forward and took Juliet's hand warmly.  "I know we were introduced earlier, but with all the confusion, I've lost your name.  I'm Simone." 

            "Juliet." the older girl said, looking uneasily at Artemis.  "Um…"

            "Why don't you take Simone to her room, Juliet?" Artemis said.  

"But Artemis, it's _important…" Juliet started.  Artemis raised one eyebrow.  _

"I'm certain it can wait a little longer."  At her expression, he coughed.  "It would be very helpful to me." 

            "Oh, okay." Juliet said as she finally got the subtle hints.  "Come with me, Simone."  She began to head down the hall.  Simone smiled and followed; she was very glad to be away from the younger Fowl.  Artemis was equally pleased to see her go.  He opened his bedroom door, seeking some peace and quiet after the mess with the French girl.  

            An elf was sitting on his bed.  

            "Hello, Arty." Holly said cheerfully.  "Miss me?"

            There went any hope of peace and quiet.  

            "Holly?" Artemis asked unbelievingly.  "How did you get in?"

            "I knocked on Juliet's window and she let me in."  

Artemis sighed loudly.  "That's what she wanted to talk about.  Next query: _What are you doing here?" _

            "Well," Holly said, a smile appearing on her face, "When I arrived back at Haven, not only was I not missed, but Root called me into his office soon after and gave me some vacation time.  Now that we have most of the goblin mess cleared up, he's letting officers go on break, just a couple at a time.  Since I had been worn out by the healing I performed on Trouble, I was one of the first to be relieved."

            "That doesn't exactly answer my question." Artemis said, trying to stay patient.  "What are you doing _here?"_

            Holly's grin widened.  "Watching you deal with a common teenager is much more fun than any resort."  

            Artemis studied the elf with carefully hidden shock.  "You are not even _considering_ staying here for your vacation." he said in disbelief.  "I will not put up with you, even for a day." 

            "That's alright." Holly said, standing and stretching, "I won't be here for a day."  Artemis relaxed slightly with relief.  

            "I'll be here for fourteen." 

            The boy stared at Holly.  She just flashed him a bright smile.  "Where should I put my stuff?" 

            Artemis sank into his computer chair and rubbed the bridge of his nose.  With the way things were progressing, it would probably be a smart idea to buy stock with an aspirin company. 

***********

            Butler stared at Juliet in shock.  "Holly…here?" he asked.  The two Butlers were making their final rounds of the Manor, making sure that everything was secure for the night.  Juliet was filling Butler in on the elf situation.  

            "Personally, I think she's here to keep an eye on Arty and make sure he won't be a danger to the People." she said, flipping her long braid over her shoulder.  The two bodyguards paused outside of Artemis's door.  For just a second.  It wasn't like they were eavesdropping or anything, just doing their jobs.  

            "After all, Fowl, show me a little gratitude.  I could have accidentally let it slip that you and Butler had regained your memories.  Then, instead of having a nice, quiet, peaceful evening at home-"

            "This isn't exactly what I would refer to as peaceful."  Artemis interrupted snidely.

            "You could be having your minds wiped instead."  Holly continued without noticing.  Or pretending not to anyway.  

            Juliet and Butler began walking again.  Butler grinned slightly.  

            "I can see your reasoning behind Holly's so called vacation, but I think the sole reason Holly is here is to return every bit of grief he ever gave her.  With interest."  Juliet thought for a moment and then folded her arms across her chest.

            "Care to make a bet?"  

**********

            Just as Butler and Juliet were making their final wagers, Artemis opened the door and looked out.  

            "Butler, Juliet, will you come here for a moment?" 

            The two bodyguards glanced at each other and came back down the hall.  "Um, how did you know we were there, Arty?" Juliet asked a little nervously.  She knew Artemis would not be amused at their idea of pastime.  

            "Everyday, when you are going over the house for its night inspection, you pass my room roughly nine minutes and 25 seconds after starting.  Butler informed me ten minutes ago that he was beginning the rounds."  Artemis sat down in his chair and steepled his fingers.  "Simple, really." 

            "So impressed." Holly muttered, still perched on Artemis's bed.  Juliet smiled when she saw the elf.  

            "Oh, so you found out, Artemis.  I was worried she'd surprise you." 

            "She didn't."  

"I did." Holly piped up.  

Artemis took a deep breath.  "Holly is actually the reason I asked you two here." he started.  "I was wondering if you had any ideas on where she could stay that was out of my parents' way."  He ignored Holly's triumphant grin.  "I really don't want to explain the presence of an elf to my parents.  Or Simone."  

"Well," Butler started, "There's the spare room up near the attic.  It's empty; she could use that."

Juliet shook her head.  "Mrs. Fowl has been planning to turn that into a guest bedroom.  If she found an uninvited guest, especially one of another species, things could become…"

"Difficult." Artemis finished.  "All right, Juliet, what is your suggestion?"

"She can stay with me." 

Artemis raised one eyebrow.  "With you." he repeated.  

"Sure.  Mister and Mistress Fowl never come near my room if they can help it, and Simone didn't seem all that impressed with it when I showed it to her.  I doubt they'll be coming by voluntarily."

"I'd love to stay with you, Juliet." Holly said brightly before Artemis could veto the idea as she _knew he wanted to.  "After all, I'm certain we have a lot to talk about.  Did you ever get that blue diamond you wanted so badly?" _

Juliet shook her head as she stood and motioned to the door.  "No, I tried out for an American wrestling team instead."

"Great!" Holly said.  "How's it going?"

Juliet sighed.  "Well, I made it, but I got kicked off the team after my first match ended with the other person in a body cast for three weeks."  

Holly grimaced.  "Oh.  Sorry?" 

"It's okay.  I'm not sure what to do now, though…"  Her voice trailed off as the two girls walked out.  Artemis and Butler glanced at each other.  

"Maybe she'll be occupied with Juliet and leave you alone." Butler offered.  

Holly stuck her head back through the doorway.  "Don't bet on it." 

Artemis closed his eyes and leaned back in his computer chair.  The next two weeks were going to be _very_ long.

AN: Sorry about updating; my 16th birthday was yesterday (Yeah!!!!!!!!!! I'm 16! Give me the keys, give me the credit cards and _get out of my way_!) , so I've been busy. I'll try to do better. 

Okay, peeps, this is **_IMPORTANT_**. My sister and I might _seriously_ update the beginning of the story. As in, a total revamp of how Artemis found the Booke. If we do, I will say so in the summary, but keep an eye out. Also, I might be changing my name; if so, I'll put it in one of the chapter notes before I change, so you are prepared. And, of course, my sis and I might actually think up a title, so it could be changing as well. If so, I'll find some way for all the readers to find out. Anyway, thanks for reading and reviewing, everyone! I really appreciate it!!


	7. A Pleasant Breakfast for Five

**_DISCLAIMER:_**

**_**Simone is my friend,_**

**_Though I don't like her a lot,_**

**_The others aren't mine,_**

**_Unless they can be bought!**_**

AN:  Ohhh, that one's _really _ bad…

**Chapter 7: A Pleasant Breakfast for Five**

Simone was up late that night getting her computer, stereo and other…equipment set up for her stay.  Then she settled down in the large bed to catch a few hours of sleep.  A knock woke her the next morning, along with Juliet's happy voice.  

"Good morning, Simone!  Breakfast is ready.  Do you think you can find the way down by yourself, or do you want me to hang around?"

"Mrph." The French girl muttered as she rolled over.  She glanced at the clock blearily.  "Go away.  You're too happy for eight in the morning." 

Juliet laughed.  "So I've heard.  That's exactly what Ho-uh, Mister Fowl said.  But Mrs. Fowl gets very upset when you're late for breakfast.  And if you skip, watch out!  She'll think you're anorexic." 

"I'm up, I'm up." Simone lied as she snuggled deep within the warm covers.  Maybe the house was little too fancy for her taste, but she could suffer though having such a comfortable bed.  

 "I'll believe that when I see it." Juliet said.  "Prove to me you're up or I'll have to make you get up." 

 "Try it." Simone called.  What could Juliet do, threaten to pull the covers off?  She'd locked the door.  

The girl's eyes flew open when she heard a jangle at the door.  The jangle of keys.  Juliet laughed slightly.  

"I have permission to come in and do whatever is necessary to ensure you're bright-eyed and bushy tailed.  I can guarantee you won't like it if I do." 

Groaning, Simone sat up and tossed her covers on the floor.  She stalked over to the door, unlocked it, and peeked out.  "Alright, I'm up.  Happy?" she growled.

"Yep." Juliet chirped.  She smiled at the disgruntled look on Simone's face.  "Come on, you'll get used to it.  Maybe you shouldn't stay up so late."  

"Hmph."

"Do you need any helping navigating?" Juliet asked again.  Simone shook her head. 

"I'll be fine, thanks though."

"Right." Juliet headed for the stairs.  "Don't be late!"

Simone closed her door and glanced longingly at her bed.  She wanted a few more minutes _so_ badly.  The girl took a step toward the bed, and then stopped.  With a moan, she spun and stalked to her closet.  

After dressing in black jeans, a pink V necked shirt with fuchsia flowers along the bottom, and yanking her hair into a ponytail, Simone was ready to head down.  She spent a moment scanning the hallway, but she eventually figured out the direction of the staircase.  As she passed Artemis's room, she heard his voice.  He did not sound overly pleased.  

"It's none of your business, Holly."  After another moment, she heard Artemis sigh, and heard a squeak that signaled his departure from his chair.  Simone spun and headed for the stairs, hoping to get enough distance between her and the door he wouldn't think she was listening to his conversation.  

Halfway down the stairs, she looked back.  The Irish teen said something she couldn't hear, and closed his bedroom door firmly. He seemed fairly annoyed, though he hid the expression instantly.  Simone bit back a smile.  Holly, huh…

**********

Artemis was awake and at his computer when Butler knocked on his door.  At least, he had assumed it was Butler.  

"Come in." he said as he began closing the connection to the Interpol files.  He had wanted to run a background check on Simone's father, just to be careful.  After all, Artemis knew from experience it paid to be cautious.

"Somehow," came Holly's voice, right near his ear, "I don't think you're supposed to be in there." 

Artemis tensed and turned.  "And somehow," he returned, "I don't think you're supposed to be in here." 

"Why not?" Holly asked, looking much too innocent. "I don't see the problem.  You said I could come in."  When Artemis said nothing and returned his attention to the screen, she came a little closer.  "Why are you so interested in this Mr. Badeau's file anyway?" 

"Simone is his daughter." Artemis said shortly.  "I don't really want her breathing down my neck the entire time she's here." 

"Why?  Scared some teenager will get in the way of your criminal career?  I would be more worried about your parents.  After all, I thought your dad wanted you to go straight."  Holly was a little disappointed in Artemis's lapse back to crime.  "Guess he wasn't as good a role model as I originally thought."

Artemis lifted his head to glare at the fairy, and Holly did a double take.  Did he look…hurt?  No, couldn't be.  Not the great Artemis Fowl.  

"It's none of your business, Holly." he snapped.  When Holly said nothing but continued to study him, the boy sighed and left his chair.  As he headed toward the door, he turned back.  "Juliet will probably have some fruits and vegetables ready for you after breakfast."

"Your generosity is truly inspiring." Holly said as she settled into Artemis's vacated computer chair.  Artemis started to say something, but just scowled and opened his door.

"Don't touch anything." he said firmly, and shut his door with a decisive bang.  He could hear the elf's light laughter even through the solid oak of the door.  Artemis started down the steps.  He could see the manor's other unwelcome visitor already at the table, along with his parents.  She looked slightly bleary eyed.  

"Good morning, Artemis." his father said cheerily.  "Did you sleep well?" 

"Yes, I did, Father.  Good morning, Mother."  Artemis began to sit, when he saw his mother's sharp look.  Biting back a sigh, he glanced at the French girl.  "Simone." he said tonelessly.

"Good morning, Arty." she responded and was rewarded with the extreme pleasure of seeing him tense.

Angeline wasn't stupid; she could see the strain between the two.  If it was any thicker Butler wouldn't have been able to slice through it.  She decided to take matters into her own hands.  "Artemis, why don't you tell Simone about your school?  After all, she'll be here for the rest of the semester and you don't want her getting lost or confused." 

Artemis blinked.  "The _rest_ of the semester?  Mother, the school year hasn't started yet."   

"I know."  Angeline said pointedly, hoping her son would drop the issue and start a conversation.  Artemis just continued staring at his plate.  She looked at her husband helplessly.  He got the hint.

"Simone," he said gently.  She looked up.  "You've been here for a day; are there any questions you have for us?  I'm certain Artemis will fill you in on anything about the upstairs." 

"Actually," the French girl said, "I have a few questions for Artemis."  The boy looked at her coolly and she put a fake smile on her face.  "What do you do in your spare time?"

Artemis refused to show the slightest hint of panic.  "I enjoy thinking up new inventions, and I spend a lot of my time on my computer, researching things on the Internet."  

"Researching what, exactly?" Simone asked.  

"Fairies." a voice whispered out of nowhere.  Artemis coughed to cover his surprise and saw out of his peripheral vision a shimmer. 

"What are you doing down here?" he hissed back.  Faint laughter echoed in his ear.  

"Arty?" Angeline pressed.  "Are you okay?"  When he nodded, she raised an eyebrow.  "Well, Simone asked you a question." 

"I take university courses, and I study psychology journals." Artemis said, filling Simone in on what he did in between his not quite legal adventures.  "I also spend some time looking at art, such as paintings from the Classical Period, or from the Renaissance."

"Yeah, right." Holly said quietly.  "You also study the secret writings of ancient civilizations, but only when you want to take advantage of them." 

Artemis sat back in his chair and sent a quick irritated glance to his left.  Holly chuckled again.  

"So," Simone said, a smirk not quite hidden on her face, "What about your friends?  Do they spend a lot of time on the computer, too?"  She had seen the glare and assumed it had been for her annoying questions.  Well, she was just getting started.  

Artemis placed his fork on the table and folded his napkin.  "I have no real friends, Simone.  Only allies.  Most people do not wish to associate with me.  And I frankly have no time for them." 

"Arty!" Angeline said in shock. 

"It is true, Mother.  I have no spare time for socializing, even if I wanted to."

"I think I  believe the part about people not wanting be around _you_ more than you not wanting to be near _them_." Holly whispered with laughter in her tone.  

"Not now." Artemis muttered back.  

"Why not?" Holly responded.  "It's as good a time as any." 

"So, if you don't have any friends," Simone asked in that too-sweet voice, "who's Holly?"

AN:  Ha ha ha ha ha!!!  Cliffhanger!  I love my work.  


	8. Who's Holly?

AN:  Last rhyming disclaimer.  I'm out of ideas.  Actually, the amazing anonymous sister helped me.  She says that's why it's so bad.  BTW, I'm back!!!  (For now.)  

**_DISCLAIMER:_**

**_**Foaly is my friend,_**

**_Because he is too smart._**

**_I dare not claim him, _**

**_Since he'd rip me apart!!** _**

**Chapter 8: Who's Holly?**

_"So if you don't have any friends," Simone asked in that too-sweet voice, "Who's Holly?"_

Juliet swallowed hard when she heard the question, and Butler's eyes widened fractionally.  They weren't sure they wanted to hear what came next.  Artemis stiffened slightly, but it was enough for his parents.  "Holly?" Angeline echoed.  "Why haven't I heard about this Holly?" 

"Uh-oh." the elf in question murmured.

"Well, who is she, Artemis?" his father asked.  You have to admit that Artemis recovered quickly.  

"A classmate, who's helping me with that art project I told you about." he replied smoothly.  Simone tilted her head in apparent puzzlement, and Artemis _knew_ the situation was going to get much worse.

"So, were you talking to her this morning?  I heard you mention her name, and it almost sounded as if she was in the room with you.  I thought maybe she lived here." 

Holly sucked in a deep breath of air.  Artemis paled slightly as his mother tilted her head.  She looked very confused.  "Artemis…" she said.  "What does Simone mean?" 

"I was on the telephone." Artemis responded instantly.  His mother still looked puzzled, but then started to grin slightly.    

"Hiding this 'classmate' from us, really, Arty, I expected more of you.  You could at least _warn_ us you had a girlfriend." 

Artemis froze and he heard a distinct lack of laughter near his shoulder.  Juliet and Butler, on the hand, looked like they were about to explode.  Even his father was grinning.  Simone had one eyebrow raised and looked _very amused at the way the conversation had gone. _

"A girlfriend." Artemis repeated, highly embarrassed but refusing to show it in front of Simone.  Or Holly.  

"That's the impression I'm getting." Angeline said defensively.  Artemis looked just a little too calm with her amazing deduction.

"I'm sorry to disappoint you, Mother, but Holly is _not_ my 'girlfriend', and I doubt she ever will be."  The Irish teen smiled slightly.  "She's a little too old for me."

A fist hit him in the shoulder softly.  "Cute, Mud Boy." Holly growled. 

"Well," Angeline sniffed, "I would like to meet her at some point." 

"Me, too." Simone piped up, wanting to see Artemis squirm a little more.  "You didn't sound very happy with her this morning, though.  Is she mad at you?" 

Artemis leveled his patented glare at the smug French girl.  "Simone, thank you for the stimulating conversation, but I must go."  He stood fairly abruptly and turned to his parents.  "Mother, Father."  

Angeline and Artemis Sr. looked bemusedly at their son as he headed up the stairs.  Simone leaned back in her chair with satisfaction.  That had been…interesting.  To say the least.  

**********

Artemis returned to his room and shut the door.  He had sat through quite enough interrogating for one day.  Holly unshielded next to him.

"Why did you go downstairs, Holly?" he asked.  "Anyone could have noticed the glimmer next to my shoulder.  Simone is annoying, but she seems to be fairly observant."

"I caught that." Holly replied.  "I didn't think you were talking that loudly earlier." 

Artemis opened his mouth to reply and then frowned.  "You're avoiding the question.  Why did you go downstairs?"

"I got bored." 

It was only nine in the morning, and Artemis could almost _see_ the massive migraine that was headed his way.  There was a knock on the door, and Holly disappeared with a shimmer.

"Come in." Artemis said, returning to his computer and opening the Internet.  Maybe for his next forgery, he'd work on a more modern piece.  Something dark and chaotic would match his mood right now.  Butler opened the door and stood aside as Juliet entered with a bowl of carrot sticks and sliced strawberries.

"Great!  I'm starved!" Holly grinned as she unshielded.  She nibbled at a strawberry and made a slight face.  Artemis ignored her and kept typing.  Juliet, however, was puzzled.

"What's wrong?"  Holly shook her head.  

"Oh, nothing.  Produce grown by Mud People just tastes a little off."  Juliet was a little nettled by the comment.  

"We grow all of our produce naturally.  What's so bad about it?"

"Let me guess.  We didn't purge the Mud Man from it." Artemis said sarcastically, not looking up from the keyboard.

"Exactly.  It's not that bad, but I've got to get you people some real fruit someday."  She grinned evilly.  "So you can see what you've been missing.  Meanwhile, this is adequate."  Artemis abandoned his computer in silent frustration and turned to the elf.

"Holly, why are you here?" he asked tiredly.

"What do you mean?" she asked, all innocence.

"Why…are…you…here?" he asked again, slowly.  Dangerously.

Holly looked at the teen and had half a mind to keep goading him, but she relented.  "Artemis, how long have we known each other?" she asked softly. 

Artemis grew wary at the gentle tone of her voice.  "Almost two years." he said cautiously.  Holly nodded in agreement and then exploded. 

"Ever since I met you, my life's been turned upside down!  Because of you, I've had my finger cut off, I've had to dive into the Artic Ocean, and I've been bent, spindled, and mutilated.  I've been stuck with the most horrible duties a LEPRecon officer can have, and I've nearly _lost my job twice.  I've had to use more magic and do more mindwipes in the two years since I've met you than in the previous century!  You've put my career in jeopardy and my life in mortal danger!"  The fairy stopped, her face almost as red as Root's with anger.  Suddenly, Holly grinned ferally, bearing teeth.  _

"So now it's payback time." she said gleefully.  Artemis stared at her, his usual impassive expression firmly on his face.  The tension was broken by Juliet's sigh.

"You win." she said sadly as she pulled a crumpled 10 euro note from her pocket.  Both Holly and Artemis frowned and turned to the bodyguards.  

"Win what?" Holly asked curiously.

"Butler and I were wondering exactly why you were here.  He thought it was to make Artemis's life as miserable as possible.  He was right." she said with mock depression as she dropped the note into Butler's hand and quickly left the room.  Artemis turned to Butler.  The impassive set of his face didn't change, but suddenly Butler felt unexplainably nervous.  And that was a rare feeling for Butler.

"If you don't need me, Master Fowl…" he said, no emotion betrayed by his voice.  Artemis nodded, and Butler quickly followed his sister.

Artemis waited until the door closed before he turned back to the elf, who was sitting on the edge of his desk crunching a carrot.

"Look, fairy-" he began, but was cut off by a tornado entering the room in the form of his very angry mother.  She banged opened the door and stalked towards Artemis's desk.  Luckily, being so angry blinded her to the fact that a small person who had been sitting on her son's desk had just shimmered out of existence.  Unluckily, being _that angry did not bode well for Artemis's immediate future._

"Artemis Fowl Junior, I am ashamed of you!" she started without preamble.  "Treating that poor girl in such a fashion!  All she did was ask a few questions, and you treated her like she wasn't worth your time.  When she asked about your friends, you practically cut her off at the knees!  And then really, stomping off from the table in such a manner!  That kind of juvenile behavior is beneath you.  What is _wrong_ with you?" Angeline finished, staring hard at her son, who gazed back stonily.  She noticed the bowl of fruit at the edge of his desk.  "And what is that?"

"Well, it was hard to finish breakfast between getting interrogated by that girl and you asking me all those questions about my classmate." Artemis said coolly.  "And quite frankly, the conversation made me lose my appetite."

   "Arty, Simone is going to be here for the rest of the year.  She doesn't know anyone besides you, and I'm sure she really does want to be friends."  At that comment, Artemis heard an amused snort from the area above his left shoulder.  Apparently the girlfriend crack had not endeared Simone to Captain Short.  

Angeline continued without hearing.  "You are either going have to start getting along with her, or you are going to have to go out of your way each and every day to avoid her.  Now, which sounds easier to you?"  Artemis didn't have to say anything; his answer was clear by his silence.  

"Artemis, you are going to have to start talking to your peers _sometime_.  You do need some help with your communication skills." 

"Mother, what is wrong with my communication skills?  I write articles that are accepted into the leading psychiatric journals.  I can negotiate any business deal.  I can talk about literature, art, or science almost as well as any expert in the world." 

"Yes, and don't forget your amazing inter-species diplomacy.  The entire LEP Academy knows and fears your name.  Your communication with others works fantastically." Holly whispered sarcastically. 

"I can speak several different languages."

"Gnommish being a specialty." the elf hissed.

I don't think any other teenager in Europe could match my communication skills." Artemis finished calmly, though a slight smile did appear on his face at Holly's remarks.  Angeline sighed.  

"But you don't talk to anyone your own age.  Artemis, you are so many things.  You had to be the man of the house while your father was missing.  You are an artist, a businessman, a psychologist, a hacker-Don't look so surprised, Arty, I'm not stupid- and probably a genius.  Why don't you try being a teenager for once?"  

For the first time since Holly had known him, Artemis looked genuinely confused.

"Why would I want to do that?" he asked.  Angeline sighed again in exasperation and whirled.  She stalked out of the room just as quickly as she had stormed in.  The door slammed behind her.  Artemis watched his mother's dramatic exit with slight puzzlement and only turned back when a rhythmic banging caught his attention.  Holly had her arms folded on the desk, and was slowly hitting her head on them.

"For being a genius, you are _so stupid."_


	9. Enter the Mad Scientists

AN:  Lessa's out of rhymes.  Deal with it.  

ASN: (Anonymous Sister's Note)  BTW, this is actually the point where we came up with a plot!  Yay!  

AN:  So, from here on in, this will be a little more than just Artemis torture.  

ASN:  Although that is fun.

**Chapter 9: Enter the Mad Scientist(s)**

Defea was a centaur, like Foaly.  In fact, she was Foaly's ex-girlfriend and the password into his computer systems.  Of course, she didn't know about the password, though she would probably eventually guess it.  After all, she was very intelligent.  Her and Foaly's version of a perfect date consisted of finding some old, obscure fairy technology, or even better, Mud Man technology, taking it apart, and fixing it up so it was better than before.  The two had been perfect together. 

Then Defea had dumped Foaly (or Foaly dumped her, it depended on who you asked).  She felt he was a little too nosy in her business.  And she had things she needed to hide from the centaur.  Mainly, her 'hobby'.  

Defea ran a small smuggling ring.  She gave certain, outdated technology to a Mud Man, who provided her with enough money to keep her fairly well off.  Any fairy who asked about her wealth was told of the poor rich uncle who recently died.  Everyone bought that story.  Even the LEP officers _and Foaly.  _

At the moment, the rich centaur was reclined in her large, luxurious purple and blue striped couch in front of her entertainment center.  Foaly had never liked it.  But then, he had never had good taste.  Preferring his plasma floor to her pink and orange living room, really.  

A beep pulled Defea out of her musings into the real world.  She shook her head and sat up quickly, a confused look on her face.  The beep echoed again, and the centaur pushed a button impatiently.  

A Mud Man appeared on the screen.  He was short and pale, his hair was brown, mussed, and slightly stringy, and he wore brown rimmed glasses with thick lenses.  His eyes were small, blue, and watery.  He was slouched forward, studying the screen intently.  

The Mud Man's name was Stephen Kegel.  He was, quite simply, a nerd.  What he did for a living was invent technology and gather information for his boss, an Antoine Badeau.   Mr. Badeau was in charge of the computer side of Interpol.  He demanded new and fresh technology often to keep up with what the criminals were producing.  As of three years ago, Kegel had been running out of ideas.  Even all his powers of persuasion were not going to help him.   

Then he met Defea.

Defea offered him new (to humans, anyway) technology and information, for a _very_ high price.  Then, Kegel had been eager to pay it.  But now, he wasn't so sure. 

"Defea," he said, nodding slightly, "How are you today?"

"The same I was yesterday.  What do you want?" she asked shortly.  "You aren't supposed to contact me until next week."

"Well, I have a slight problem." Kegel began.

"Your problems are never slight, and besides, what does that have to do with me?"  

"Defea, my boss wants more technology.  Bigger, better technology.  Being able to trace most emails just isn't good enough any longer.  He wants to be able to trace any email, access any account and be able to read anything that has been sent to or from that account."

"Go to it." Defea said calmly.  "You have my blessing."  She reached for the disconnect button.  "See you next week." 

"Wait!" Kegel cried.  "You don't understand!  He also wants to start a new research project to use the hot air vents in the Earth's crust as an energy source.  You know, for his hobby.  So, he wants a computer system set up so it can look down the vents to see what's there and take records and measurements.  That's impossible!" 

"Whoa, wait a second.  What kind of hot air vents?" Defea said, sitting up straight.

"Cracks in the first surface, where magma bubbles up occasionally, creating bursts of hot air.  If that can be harnessed, it can be a new, _clean energy source, and naturally, my boss wants to cash in on it." The nerd ran a hand through his messy hair.  "He wants a computer with a geological survey station, recording equipment, a camera, a heat sensor, __and he wants it all to be in a portable laptop!  I mean, how can I fit all that in a little package, and find a metal strong enough to withstand __magma?!" _

"You're right.  That's impossible." Defea commented casually.  _Too casually.  "Sorry."_

"Hey!" Kegel objected.  "I thought you said you could do anything." 

"I can." said a very miffed centaur.  "I just can't…do…this."  She smiled weakly.  "Nothing personal." 

Kegel frowned.  "And why can't you?" he asked.  "Heaven knows I'm giving you enough money for services rendered."

"If I tell you, I'd have to kill you." Defea said flippantly.  The Mud Man pouted.  

"Come _on, Defea, I need your help.  I can't do it by myself.  Please?"  He poured on all the pressure he could muster.  If Defea had any idea what he was actually doing, she would be quite surprised.  However, the centaur had designed her screen to filter all mind bending magic.   _

She rolled her eyes.  "I hate it when you beg.  It's so pitiful; I just have to help…"

"Really?" Kegel said, brightening up immediately.

"No.  I lied."  Defea grinned, and pushed the power off button.  Kegel's outraged face disappeared.  "Till next time." 

**********

Stephen Kegel sat back in his chair and sulked.  He was _very good at it.  After a few minutes of trying to puzzle out the schematics, he sighed heavily.  He had been right.  It really _was_ impossible.  Now all he had to do was tell his boss that.  Kegel squared his shoulders.  As long as Mr. Badeau didn't get mad, there was at least a chance of salvaging the situation.  He would just…__convince his boss to forget it, or at least give the idea up for a while.  After all, Kegel was a very persuasive man.      _

The nerd stood and walked out of his cramped laboratory.  His grimy lab coat stuck out in the midst of all the well dressed Interpol information gathers in the hall.  He walked through the large double doors and turned to the pretty secretary at his right.  

"Anna, tell Mr. Badeau I need to talk to him."  He leaned over a little closer.  "He isn't too busy, is he, sweet?"

The secretary didn't give him a first glance.  "It's Miss Wetzel, and no, he's not busy.  Walk right on in."  

Kegel did so, shutting the door behind him.  As the door slammed, the secretary smirked.  "He's not busy, just talking to his daughter.  Oh, I forgot.  He said he didn't want to be disturbed."  The secretary grinned and turned back to her work.  "Oops."

**********

Kegel strolled in and found Mr. Badeau leaning back in his chair, talking animatedly on the telephone.  "Honey, I'm sorry, but I have to go.  Maybe later?"  He paused, and then smiled.  "Okay, Simone, tomorrow.  I'm glad you're getting along okay."  He glanced up at Stephen with mock anger.  "And what's so important you have to interrupt a conversation between me and my only child?" he growled.  

Mr. Badeau was tall and bulky.  He worked out a lot, but spent a lot of his time behind his desk at Interpol, telling others how to do their jobs.  He was very good at it.  The man also had pet projects.  They included saving the environment, fighting for lower taxes, and the Fowls.  He didn't trust them, you see.  After years of skirting on the wrong side of the law, all of a sudden they decide to be legitimate.  Right after all that gold and money appeared in their bank account, too.  A little peculiar, if you asked him.  Not that many people did.  They weren't that stupid.  

The computer nerd gulped as Badeau glared at him.  "Um, you see, sir, it's about the email project and the heat vent idea…"

Badeau grinned at his words and sat up.  "Wonderful!" he declared.  "When will they be ready?"

Kegel closed his eyes and prayed for someone to save him.  He'd rather be abducted by aliens than finish this conversation.  Even with his powers of persuasion, this one didn't look good.  Badeau was already in a bad mood.

"They…won't, sir." 

            "Excuse me?" Badeau said, an odd look coming over his face.  "I must have misunderstood that; I could have sworn you said they won't be ready.  Please: when will they be ready, again?"

            "S-s-sir," Kegel whimpered, "They…won't be ready, sir.  I can't do it." 

            "You can't do it." Badeau echoed.  Kegel nodded, staring him straight in the eyes.  After a moment, Badeau found himself looking away.  There was something…disturbing about the nerd's gaze. 

"You can't do it."  Badeau stood suddenly, looking calm, but very, _very_ displeased.  "After all the money I've put into your department, you dare to tell me that you _can't do it_?!"

Kegel looked like he was going to faint.  All thoughts of persuading his boss's mind to his will were gone.  "Urk."   

"Find a way to make what I want, or things will go very badly for you, Kegel." Badeau said, now completely calm.  "There are many others I know who would love to have a crack at your work; and with your funds.  However, I decided to give a chance.  If you can't handle what I ask for, maybe it's time you retired…"

"Sir, please!" Kegel blurted.  He poured all his 'charm' into his next words, knowing his livelihood depended on it.  "I just had an amazing revelation.  I can do it, just give me some time to figure out how to manage it.  _Please _don't fire me; I can do it."

"Good," Badeau said, clapping Kegel on the shoulder, and at the same time, pushing him toward the door.  "I have complete trust in you.  Get going, then." 

"Yes, sir."

The door slammed behind him.  

Miss Wetzel looked up at the shaking nerd and smiled sweetly.  "How'd it go?" she asked.  

"J-just fine." Kegel replied as he slunk down to his lab.  Once safely there, he had a slight nervous breakdown.  

"What have I done?" he whispered  "I'll never be able to do this.  I can't.  Mr. Badeau will kill me for lying to him.  Or fire me.  What will I doooo?" 

After a few minutes of lying in a fetal position and whimpering, Kegel straightened up and took a deep breath, clenching one fist in front of him in clichéd determination.  "I-I have to get Defea to help me.  I _have _to."  After a moment, he collapsed again.  "But hooooooooooowww……"

Kegel laid thinking and whimpering to himself.  "I've tried to convince her; but she's immune to my 'charm'.  I could offer her lots of money-no, that won't work, the budget's too big anyway.  Give her something she needs-what would a smart centaur like her need from a mere human like _me?  I could threaten her-no, what could I threaten her with?  Besides, Defea scares me." _

Then he sat up straight.  "Wait.  Defea sends the technology I ask for to the pick up point.  If someone comes to drop that off, well, I could grab them.  I could…hold them hostage and demand Defea help me or…or I'll splash their fairy secrets across the whole entire word!  She would never be able to stop me!"  He paused for a moment to laugh maniacally.  

Not only was Kegel a nerd, he watched a lot of television, like James Bond and  Indiana Jones and other movies that included evil men trying to blackmail other people.  His absolute favorite, of course, being Lion King.  Scar was just _so nasty.  _

"Now, I have to get to her right away…" he muttered.  "Maybe I'll call her again.  No, she'd just blow me off again.  No, the next scheduled appointment is for…" he consulted his calendar/diary, hidden in a very special place (under the keyboard of his computer).  

"Next week.  All right, I have that long to plan out everything completely.  I need a place to hold my hostage, and a list of material and technology to demand of Defea, and…"

The evil mastermind was in business.  

ASN:  No, we were not on drugs while we wrote about Kegel, we promise.  

AN:  That's what she thinks.  

ASN:  Okaaaaay, _I wasn't on drugs._

AN:  Thanks for reading; the next chapter should be up…whenever it is.  That's all I can promise.  


	10. Influences

AN: Sorry about the long wait. We have a really good excuse for taking so long...

ASN: But we can't think of one right now.

**_DISCLAIMER: If you haven't figured it out by now...._**

**Chapter 10: Influences**

Badeau chuckled to himself as the little nerd scurried out the door.  It was really quite predictable.  The nerd would claim that the task was impossible, and ask that his budget be raised.  Once the amount of money had increased sufficiently, a 'revelation' would strike and the nerd would get back to work.  

Of course, after a while that little ploy got old.  Threatening to fire them worked just as well and left considerably more money in Badeau's pocket.  He turned back to his investigation of one of Europe's slickest criminals.  Not one of the Fowls, actually, they appeared to be laying low for a while following Fowl Senior's miraculous escape from the Mafiya.  He had his little suspicions about that incident as well.  

The inspector grinned to himself as he studied the studio portrait of his daughter displayed prominently on his desk.  He knew that his colleagues thought him mad for letting his only child live in the company of very talented criminals.  However, she was in the perfect position to make sure that the Fowl family claims of 'going straight' were indeed true.  And if she discovered evidence of criminal activity, well...it would indeed be a pleasure to be known as the one who busted the Fowls.  Badeau leaned back in his chair with a sigh of pleasure.  With the genetic tendency to illegal behavior passed in the Fowl bloodline for generations, it was only a matter of time.         

**********

Holly sat on Artemis's bed serenely, watching the Mud Boy out of the corner of one eye.  He stayed at the computer, typing away.  She huffed to herself and went back to cleaning her wings.  As she cleaned, she thought.

She honestly didn't know if he was to be trusted.  After all, he was barely 14 and one of the LEP's worst enemies.  Could he have changed?  Wait, that brought back a faint memory of something he had said earlier...

"Fowl, I have a question."

Small shoulders moved in a silent sigh, then Artemis looked back at her over his shoulder.  "Yes, Captain Short?"

"Remember when we were mindwiping you, what you told us?"

He raised an eyebrow.  "When I told you that a mindwipe could erase all good influences from my personality?  Yes, I remember."

"Well," Holly said, suddenly a little nervous.  Did she really want to hear this?  "What happened?"

Artemis studied her for a long moment.  A _very long moment.  Then he asked calmly, "Why do you want to know?  Do I seem different to you?"_

"No." Holly said, a slight smile appearing on her face.  "You're just as insufferably annoying as I remember.  But, I wanted to know if...if we really had that large a part in your life."

There was a minute of silence, and then Artemis flicked off the computer screen.  Then he faced Holly fully.  His eyes were full of an emotion Holly couldn't recognize, but it sent shivers down her back.

"After I woke from the sleep you placed us all in, I had one moment of peace.  One moment, when I was truly content."  The Mud Boy's stare flickered for a moment.  "And then, my life was exactly as it was before.  All I cared about was money.  I felt contempt for my father and his desire to be a legitimate man.  My life centered on this phrase: _Aurum Est Potestas_."  Artemis didn't need to translate; he knew Holly understood.

"Gold is Power." she said softly.  He nodded.

"It was my motto.  And it was my life."  Everything was quiet for a moment, and then Artemis seemed to shake himself out of his reverie.  "Is that what you wanted to hear, Captain?" he asked, a little angrily.

"What?"  Holly blinked at him.  "What do you mean?"

"Is that what you wanted to hear?  That I am nothing morally right or good when I don't have your influence in my life?  Isn't that why you asked?"

"No." Holly protested.  Then she ran back over her previous words in her head.  "Okay, maybe that's what it sounded like, but honestly, I just wanted to know if..."  She stopped.

"If I had that spark of decency when the People weren't around?" the Mud Boy finished.

"No!  I wanted to see if Commander Root was right or not.  About personalities changing when a large part of their memory was wiped."  As soon as Holly finished that sentence, she knew it was the wrong thing to say.

Artemis raised his eyebrow again.  "So I was an experiment, then?"  All trace of emotion was gone from his voice, but Holly winced all the same.

"_No!!  I don't know how to explain it; I just wanted to know if we made any difference in your life!" she said in exasperation._

After a tense moment, Artemis nodded and relaxed his stance.  "All right, I'll accept that."

He turned back to his computer, leaving Holly to feel as if she had just lost a very important argument.  As she opened her mouth to continue talking, Artemis glanced back at her.

And she suddenly recognized the emotion he had held in his eyes earlier.

It was shame.

The elf settled back onto the bed.  She wasn't going to push this subject any farther until she thought it through completely.

**********

Artemis turned back to his computer, fuming inwardly.  Holly's question had stung a nerve he hadn't known existed.  And for the life of him, he had _no idea why he had reacted so strongly.  He also didn't know why he had told her about his transformation.  It wasn't like it was the LEP's business.  It was personal.  _

All in all, Artemis was not in the best of moods.  

With a _ting, a warning popped up on the screen.  It was one he had never seen on his computer before, but one he had doubtlessly caused on many others.  _

_!  Security alert.  Intruder detected in hard drive.  !_

The clackety-clack of the keys stopped as he stared at the message.  Wordlessly, he clicked for more details as Holly stirred behind him.  

"What is it, Fowl?" she asked.  He glanced back at her.  

"Someone has just hacked into my hard drive." he said coolly.  

Holly nodded.  "Okaaaaaaayyyy…. And?"

"The odd thing is that the signal is originating from _inside_ the manor." Artemis said, typing furiously again.  

"Inside?"  Holly echoed.  "That's strange.  Where could it be coming from?"  

Artemis hit the Enter key and stood, striding toward the door.

"Oh, I know _exactly where it's coming from."_

ASN: Okay, so this was a short chapter, but we thought that we'd emphasize the serious conversation. 

AN: Thanks so much for all the reviews and comments. 

ASN: Yeah, I really enjoy reading your suggestions. We do take most of them. 

AN: Anyway, here are some answers and responses to some of the latest reviews in no particular order. 

**To the Thorned Rose: **

AN: Thanks, we'll fix the euros things. Didn't even think about that. Oops. 

**To ****Burgundy****: **

AN: About adding an A/H twist, _I'd_ do it, but we're already 60 pages into this story, and we can't figure out how to add it without really screwing up the plot.

ASN: What little plot we have anyway. 

**To HyperCaz: **

ASN: Thanks. Yes, we actually _do have a plot! _

**To kris x: **

ASN: Thanks for the good comments on the chapter 1 rewrite. I appreciate it, since Lessa didn't think it was necessary... 

**To Violomana: **

AN: That's right, Defea would want to be paid in gold. Thanks for pointing that out. About your other questions, all will be explained...eventually. 

**To TrinityDay: **

AN: Who says Holly's actually telling the truth about why she's at Fowl Manor? Dum dum da **_dum_**...

ASN: Dumb.

AN: Well, excuuuuuse me!

**To scarletswitchblade:**

ASN: Lessa created Defea a long time ago, for the Artemis Fowl story we wrote while we were waiting for The Eternity Code to come out. As far as I know, she made the name up. And I don't pretend to know how her mind works. 

AN: Funny. 

ASN: Anyway, since this chapter was so short, we should have a new chapter up soon.

AN: As always, thanks to everyone who writes. If you ever want to ask us something in great detail, email me. I'll email you back and try to answer.


	11. The Hacker's Been Hacked

AN: Hi, it's us again!  Here's chapter 11, where you find out who's the hacker, why the hacker's there, and what Artemis is hiding on his computer.  

ASN: Sure, just give away the entire plot while you're at it.  

AN: *Sticks tongue out*

**_DISCLAIMER:  No matter how much we wish, or beg, or plead or pray, Artemis is not ours, nor will he ever be ours.  There, I said it, now read the story.  _**

****

**Chapter 11: The Hacker's Been Hacked**

_("Oh, I know _exactly_ where it's coming from.")_

Simone leaned back in her chair, a smirk appearing on her face.  Apparently, even the great Artemis Fowl couldn't stop an Interpol hacking program from getting the better of him.  As soon as it finished downloading the teen's hard drive, she could sort through all of his hidden information at her leisure.  Then she and her father could convict 'Arty' at their leisure as well.  

A screen suddenly came up on her computer.

_!  Download canceled.  Connection lost.  !_   

Before she could react, another screen appeared.

_!  Download deleted.  !_   

Simone's eyes widened.  Deleted?!

The entire monitor went black, and then three white words appeared.

**_ANSWER THE DOOR.   _**

"Huh?"

BAM! BAM! BAM!  Simone jumped as three very firm knocks echoed off her door.  Her brow furrowed.  

"Oops.  Not as subtle as I thought." 

"Open.  The.  Door." Artemis's voice came from the hallway.  Even from Simone's limited interaction with the teen, she knew he was _not_ pleased.  She walked over to the door and calmly opened it.  

Artemis was leaning against the doorjamb, arms folded.  His entire posture screamed 'annoyed' and his eyes were very unamused. 

"You know, hacking is illegal." he said as an opening.  Simone flipped her hair out of her face.

"I'm quite certain most of the things you are involved in are illegal as well." she answered coolly.  

"At least HE doesn't get caught." a shielded Holly whispered from her usual point over Artemis's left shoulder.  

A little too loudly.

"What?" Simone asked, all nonchalance gone from her face.  She looked around for the source of the voice, thus missing the glare of annoyance Artemis gave to the air above his shoulder.  "What was that?" she said.

"Oops." Holly whispered, quieter than before.

"Don't try to change the subject." Artemis interjected before Holly could dig herself any deeper.  

"The honest truth?" Simone said, turning back, "Dad gave me a new hacker program to try.  Since your computer is definitely more protected than any of the computers of the lesser criminals we have to deal with every day, I thought I might as well try it out on yours."  Artemis's eyes narrowed.

"It is not extraordinarily wise to get on my bad side this early into your stay, especially since you're going to be here all semester.  Life could become…unpleasant."

Simone's eyes widened with a combination of amusement and maliciousness.  "Why Arty," she said girlishly, "Are you threatening me?"

Artemis gave her his patented blank stare.  "Mademoiselle, take it however you desire.  If you wish to view it as a threat, then by all means, view it as a threat."  He turned and strode down the hall.  Simone watched him go, and then closed her door.  And locked it.  

**********

Artemis Sr. sat at his large desk in the study, calmly going over the papers for his new enterprise.  It had nothing to do with Russia, or cola for that matter.  The door swung open and Artemis Jr. walked in.  His father looked at the teen closely.  Was it his imagination, or was the barely restrained fury in his son's eyes causing a slight heat haze to hover around his head?  

"Yes, Son?" he asked pleasantly, putting his gold pen down.  He had been expecting this conversation for the past two days.  Maybe Artemis and Simone had been getting along better than he had thought they would.  

"Father, what possessed you to invite such a…_inquisitive_ girl into our home?  She is, after all, the daughter of an Interpol inspector.  And not just any Interpol inspector, but the one who has made it his personal quest to see the Fowls put in prison?" Artemis asked very, _very calmly.  _

Artemis Sr. sighed.  Okay, so maybe they _weren't getting along.      _

"What happened?" he asked.  

"She hacked into my hard drive, trying to find incriminating documents about any criminal activities."  

"All right.  Did she find anything?"

"I certainly hope not."  Artemis took a deep breath.  "Father, why _this girl?"_

"It's very simple.  I want to prove to everyone, especially Badeau, that the Fowls are now perfectly legitimate.  I have nothing to hide."  Artemis Sr. studied his son.  "Do you?"  

Artemis Jr. rewarded the question with a bland stare.  Artemis Sr. sighed.

"In that case, I would recommend wrapping it up.  Quickly."  

His son nodded once, an impassive look on his face, and turned and walked out the door.  Artemis Sr. turned back to his papers.  

**********

Holly had to speed up in order to keep up with the obviously unhappy teenager.  "Yo, Arty, slow down!" she hissed.  He didn't even break his stride.  

Artemis walked into his room and went directly to his computer.  He pulled out a blank CD-R disk and slid it into his drive.  Holly turned off her wings and unshielded.  

"Now what are you doing?" she asked.  Artemis said nothing.  "Besides ignoring me, I mean."  

"Don't you have something else you could be doing?" Artemis asked tiredly.  "_Anything _else?" 

"Nope." she chirped.  "You have my undivided attention."

"A pleasure." he muttered.  "If you must know, I'm moving all irreplaceable files onto disk, and then I'm reformatting my hard drive to make sure I am rid of any sensitive documents." 

Holly leaned back in a chair, expertly leaned it back on the back two legs, and rested her boots on the edge of Artemis's desk.  He ignored this.  Disappointed, Holly said, "So, what's so important that you don't want Simone to see?  Surely you don't keep records of your criminal activities."

He continued to ignore her.  

"Come on, Arty.  What are you hiding?  Your diary?"  At that, the teen slowly turned to glare at the elf.

"Actually," he said, "I was more worried about her finding the copy of the Booke I had saved."  

Holly jerked in her chair, disturbing the elaborate balance she had created and almost falling flat on her face.  _"What?!"  Even in her shock, she couldn't miss the smirk that appeared on Artemis's face at her reaction._

"Is something wrong, Captain?" he asked smoothly.  

"Fowl, you _idiot!  You mean you left a copy of the Booke where anyone could find it?"_

"Well, not everyone." Artemis stated.  "It would take a hacker of amazing talent.  Perhaps Foaly." 

"I don't know; Simone appeared to be doing well." Holly shot back.  

"With all due respect, Captain, you have no idea what you're talking about."  Holly seemed to swell with rage in a striking resemblance to Commander Root.

"Why you…_stupid…!" she snarled.  _

Artemis raised an eyebrow.  "I've been called many things, but 'stupid' has never been one of them." 

"Well then, it's overdue!" she snapped.  "You risked having Simone find out about the People!  Besides, you must have more copies in safer places; _why_ did you have to have one on your computer?!"

"I did have other copies in safer places." Artemis said, a little testily.  "Foaly either dug up or destroyed them all."  

"Oh."  Holly ceased her tirade, the wind taken momentarily out of her sails.  "Any other little surprises you have hidden?"

He folded his arms and scowled at her.  For once, he looked truly aggravated.  "How am I supposed to know?" he snapped.  "After all, I don't quite remember." 

Holly glared right back.  "Technically, if you didn't remember, we wouldn't be _having_ this conversation." 

"Take it up with Foaly whenever you go back." Artemis said dismissively, turning back to the computer.  "Now if you want me to keep Simone from learning anything, let me get back to work." 

It was all Holly could do to keep her hands from circling the Mud Boy's neck.  She could have sworn _she _was supposed to annoy _him_.  Wasn't that why she was here?  

She would have to simply have to try harder.  

ASN: Hope you enjoyed the new chapter.  That scene between Arty and Simone was a ball to write.  

AN: Thank you, thank you.  I tried.  Please, no flowers, just send money.  

ASN: Uh, excuse you.  Who wrote this scene??

AN: Anyway, thanks for all the comments, and we'll see when the next chapter's up.  I start school tomorrow (AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!), so it might be a bit. 


	12. Dinner and an Invitation

AN: Now, I know they're just gonna _love this chapter…_

ASN: Imagine evil laughter.  

**Chapter 12: Dinner and an Invitation**

 Juliet opened the door.  "Artemis, dinner's ready."  Artemis looked up from his work.  His desk was a mess, covered with program disks and operating system manuals.  The girl decided it was safer not to ask.  

"Holly, I'll get you something here shortly.  Any preferences?  Oh, we're fresh out of dolphin." 

Holly grinned, and Artemis shook his head.  "Don't come downstairs this time." he said sternly to the elf. 

"Oh, but it was so much fun last time." she laughed.  

"I wouldn't suggest it, Captain Short." Juliet commented.  "Invisible girlfriends usually don't come to dinner at Fowl Manor."  She received two identical glares for that remark.  

"I'm not invisible." Holly said with dignity.  "You just can't see me." 

Artemis said nothing, but walked out the door.  Juliet waved to Holly and followed.  

The beginning of dinner went exactly the same as every other meal since Simone came to stay.  The French girl asked questions almost nonstop while Artemis Jr. picked at his food and his parents tried unsuccessfully to prod him into conversation.  Usually the meal would end in a tense silence that his mother tried to fill with her chattering until Artemis asked to be excused.  Tonight, however, ended a little differently.  

"Mr. Fowl," Simone asked sweetly, "My dad's going on a business trip next week to investigate a hacker in Dublin, and I was wondering if it would be all right if he stopped by afterwards.  I'd really like to see him if he's going to be on the same island."  

Artemis Jr. stopped contemplating the pros and cons of sending a certain elf back to the LEP in gift wrap and gave the conversation his full and undivided attention.  Artemis Sr. smiled at Simone.  

"Of course you can.  We'd be delighted to meet your father."  Simone smiled brilliantly.  

"Thank you!" she trilled.  

It took all the self-control Artemis had developed over the years to keep the impassive expression on his face.  The one person in the world who was the most likely to start asking some unanswerable questions would be visiting his house in a week.  And Holly would still be here.  This was not the way Artemis had envisioned his last week of summer vacation.   

"Mother, may I be excused?" Artemis asked suddenly, pushing away from the table.  "I have a lot of work to finish."  Angeline sighed.  

"Yes, Artemis." 

As soon as Artemis disappeared from the dining room, Simone stood.  "Is it alright if I'm excused as well?"

"Yes, dear." Angeline said, resigned to the fact she would get no conversation out of the two teens tonight.  "You may go." 

"Thank you."  

**********

Simone headed up the stairs quietly.  She opened the door to Artemis's room and stopped.  His desk was covered with disks and manuals, and he was typing away calmly.  She thought she saw a shimmer out of the corner of her eyes, but when she looked harder, there was nothing.  

Artemis caught sight of her in the reflection on his screen and sighed.  "Yes?" 

"Hi!" the French girl chirped.  "You said you had some work to do, and I thought I'd come up and see what it was.  So, what are you doing?" 

Artemis gave her a scornful look.  "I'm reformatting my hard drive; what does it look like?" he asked sarcastically.  Simone grinned smugly.  

"It looks like you're reformatting your hard drive…to destroy any incriminating documents." she said.  

"Precisely."  

"Give that girl a cookie and send her on to round two." Holly whispered sardonically.  Artemis smirked slightly at her comment.  Simone noticed.  

"Want to let me in on the joke, Arty?" she asked.  He barely looked at her.  

"No.  Not really."  

Simone pursed her lips.  "Uh-huh.  Well, if you ever need any help going through your things, I'll be here."  After a moment, she added, "And if you want, I'm certain my father would love to see some of your things." 

"If I ever become suicidal," Artemis said calmly, looking at the French girl, "I'll remember your kind offer.  Now leave."  

Simone left.  She felt she had made an impression on the boy so far.  Maybe he would take her seriously now.  

**********

The day had come, and Kegel was ready.  At precisely 10 o'clock, the screen flickered to life, showing a bored centaur.  

"Hello, Stephen _dahhling." she drawled.  "How are things going back at the ranch, hmm?"_

"Well," Kegel said, rubbing his hands together nervously.  He had to act this out just right.  "My boss stills wants that new geological equipment, and the email trace program.  Can't you help me?  If I don't get it, I'll be out of a job."  

"Well," Defea said, rubbing her chin, "I _might_ be able to help with the email tracking.  It will be costly-"

"All your items are costly." Kegel muttered.  

"Oh, stuff it; without me you'd be on the streets." Defea snapped.  "Anyway, I can't help with the magma vents.  It's just not worth my time."

"Why not?" Kegel asked, now intrigued.  It wasn't often Defea denied him something.    

"Well, if you must know," Defea began, looking very tired with the entire business, "Quite a few years ago I thought about harnessing magma for energy.  Just between you and me, I'll give you some advice, free of charge."  She looked straight at Kegel.  "It's completely worthless.  Not one ounce of good will come from it, I guarantee it."  The centaur sniffed dramatically.  "That was my greatest failure."

"Uh-huh."  The computer nerd did not seem to believe her.  "Well, will you be sending me the email technology, then?" he asked.  

"Sure.  It'll be at the regular meeting place at 10 o'clock tonight.  Regular amount." she said, yawning.  "Anything else?"  

"I'd still like the magma technology.  In case you ever change your mind." Kegel grumbled.  He hoped Defea would buy this act.  

"Yeah, whatever, Mud Man.  Buck up, and be there at 10.  Later."  The centaur's face disappeared from the screen, and Kegel grinned.  Ten o'clock, huh.  Well then, he'd just have to show up a little earlier.  The nerd thumbed for the secretary's desk.  

"Anna, dear, something very important has come up.  If Mr. Badeau asks, tell him it was an unavoidable emergency.  I'll be back in late tonight or early tomorrow."

"It's Miss Wetzel, and sure.  I'll tell him."  The secretary said absently.  

"Right."  With that, Kegel gathered up his things.  A stakeout was in order.  

**********

Defea switched off the screen.  Hmm, the little Mud Man needed his precious technology before his boss fired him.  Well, she could handle that quite easily.  Now where was her delivery boy…?

"Defea!" a voice hissed.  "I'm here!  What do you need me to do?"

Now, what fairy would be twisted enough to help Defea in her smuggling ring?  Who could possibly want to deliver technology to a Mud Man for a slightly crazed centaur?  Who would do such a horrible, awful thing; something that could affect fairies for centuries should any other Mud Man find out?  

"It took you long enough, Grub." Defea said.  "Come on, I have a little delivery run for you to make." 

ASN:  Hee, hee.  I love doing things like this.  And is Grub really a bad guy?  Well…

AN:  He was really annoying in the earlier chapters.  

ASN:  If being annoying makes someone evil, _you_ should be hanging out with Jack the Ripper and Hitler.  

AN:  Jack the Ripper was left handed.  

ASN: Guess what hand Lessa uses?  *Lessa sticks her tongue out*  Anyway, hope you enjoyed the new chapter and see ya soon!!


	13. Top Secret Mission Sort of

AN:      All right, I've gotten sick and tired of thinking up new ways to do disclaimers.  So, no more.  Read the others and be happy.  

ASN:   And do not sue.

AN:      Yes, and do not sue.

**Chapter 13: Top Secret Mission-Sort of**

Corporal Grub Kelp wasn't a bad guy.  He had no plans for earning millions of dollars or world domination.  He just wanted a little bit of fame.  

Defea had cornered him when she had first started this smuggling ring.  The centaur had played upon the corporal's pride, flattering him with his bravery against that one Mud Man of Artemis Fowl's, and generally sucking up to him.  

"Now, Grub." she had purred.  "There's a top secret mission that the LEP has decided you're good enough for." 

"R-really?" Grub had stammered.  "A top secret mission?"

"Yes.  Top secret.  You see," Defea had leaned in at this point, lowering her voice, "the Council has decided to try to contact the Mud Men."  

"_What?!"_

"The Council wants to contact the Mud Men." Defea had repeated.  "You see, they want to find out if they have matured enough to be trusted.  So, they have chosen one Mud Man, named Kegel, to test."  

"Test?" Grub had echoed.  "Test how?"

"They will provide Kegel with some obscure, outdated, and generally useless fairy technology.  To the Mud Men, it will be amazing.  If Kegel can put it to good use, and not do something unmoral with it, then we will try contacting others."

"And what do I need to do?" Grub had asked.  

"You need to deliver the technology to the specified place every so often.  We'll have to use one of the abandoned shafts so no one detects us.  After all," the centaur had finished her story solemnly.  "Some of the People don't _want_ to become friends with the Mud Men.  We can't have those People stopping us."

"So I can't tell anyone?" Grub had said.  "Not even Commander Root?  Not even _Trouble_??"

"No one." Defea had repeated.  "You're the only one we can trust.  After all, you met that Butler and didn't lose your head.  You're perfect for this."

Elated, Grub had agreed to help Defea in any technology transportation she needed.  

**********

"Sure." Grub said, now accustomed to the work Defea had him do.  Delivering technology had gotten very boring after a while.  "What do you need me to take?" 

"This." Defea had gone down to her lab, and was now handing Grub a disk.  She then bent down and wrote a little instruction note.  

_Install on computer.  New program should come up called traku.pro.  Click on it.  From there, type in any name, account number or last known email, and it will deliver all information, including account password.  _

"There." Defea said triumphantly.  "Perfect."  She handed the note to Grub.  "You need to get that to the meeting place by nine tonight."  

"Allrighty." Grub said, turning to leave.  "Anything else?" 

"Nope." Defea said.  "Don't dawdle."

Grub looked injured.  "I never dawdle."  

**********

Kegel was getting very, _very bored.  It was almost nine.  There was still about an hour to go.  He had never seen how Defea got her things up here.  He just hoped it was with a person, and not automated.  If it was a machine, he would have a serious problem.  _

Suddenly, a small person appeared.  It almost looked like a midget.  Very short, but grown up.  Well, sort of. 

The person strolled to the tree and laid a small package under it.  It was wearing some sort of helmet, and a greenish jumpsuit.  It seemed bored too.  

It stopped being bored when Kegel wrapped his arms around it, pinning it firmly. 

"Gak!" it squeaked.  It sounded vaguely male, but young.  A boy?  

Kegel yanked the helmet off the struggling figure.  Its ears were in delicate points.  He grinned, and then clapped a rag dipped in chloroform over its nose.

The fairy slowly ceased his fighting.  After a minute or so, he was unconscious in the computer nerd's arms.  Kegel grinned.  And the plan was under way. 

**********

He returned to his laboratory with the package and the hostage in a large blue duffel bag.  He sauntered past the secretary's desk/security checkpoint with an airy wave.  "Good evening, Anna _dahhling_."  

The secretary looked up, an unamused expression on her face.  "Well, that's new." she said dryly.  "What's in the bag, and it's Miss Wetzel."   

"Oh, I'm sorry." Kegel apologized.  "One of my friends calls everybody that and I guess it's just rubbing off." 

The secretary couldn't resist.  "You _have_ friends?" she inquired.  

"Why, Anna, I'm hurt."

"Miss Wetzel." she muttered, turning back to her computer.  Kegel shrugged and continued down the hall.  She took a deep breath.  One of these days, he'd say something nasty enough she'd be able to slap a harassment suit on him and get the nerd kicked out.  Until that glorious day, she'd just ignore the creep and check him through like anybody else.  Wait…the bag!

"Stephen!" she called.  

The nerd didn't even break stride.  "It's Mr. Kegel."  

With difficulty, the secretary held back her scream.  "I need… to check… your bag." 

Kegel turned and started to stroll back down the hall.  "Why Anna, I didn't think you cared."  

The secretary sighed deeply and rubbed her aching head.  She was going to be off duty in three minutes; why couldn't Kegel have waited just a _little bit to go on one of his all-nighters?_

"Forget it." she snapped, waving him away.

Kegel stopped in his tracks, dismay written all over his face.  "Oh, all right then.  I guess I'll see you later?" he asked hopefully.  

_I hope not_.  "Perhaps." she said, picking up her stack of papers to go home.  "I'll tell the night shift you're here."  

"Thank you, Anna.  Have a good evening." he said smoothly.  

"Yeah, you too." she muttered, not-quite-running down the hall towards the elevator.  

Kegel grinned and headed to his laboratory.  The computer nerd then promptly called Defea.  

"Defea, _dahhling." he said in a fine imitation of her flippant attitude.  _

"Hey." The centaur greeted him absently.  "Did you get the disk?  How does it work?  I was a little worried it would be too advanced for your technology.  So behind, you Mud Men are." 

"Yeah." Kegel grinned.  "So behind.  I wonder if grabbing your little man was just luck." 

Defea blinked.  "What?"

Kegel just held up his hostage.  Grub's arms were pinned behind him, and his eyelids were very heavy.  He was just waking up.  

"Urrgg…" he moaned.  

"_Grub?!" Defea gasped.  _

"Is that his name?" Kegel said, very pleased with cracking Defea's persistent sarcastic manner.  "He wouldn't- excuse me, _couldn't- tell me." _

"How dare you?" Defea snarled.  "Grub is nothing.  He's barely old enough to live on his own, for heaven's sake!"  

"But you'd pay well to get him back, wouldn't you?" Kegel said sweetly.  

Defea looked shocked.  "Why, Stephen, are you blackmailing me?"  After a moment, she smirked.  "I didn't think you had the guts." 

"Oh," Kegel snapped, "I do.  And I'll hurt the little thing if I have to."  He shook Grub angrily, and the elf moaned again.  

Defea sighed, all cockiness gone.  "All right." she muttered.  "Don't hurt him.  I'll pay it, whatever it is."

"Good." Kegel piped.  "I want that magma technology.  Just give me the metal, and tell me how to cram all that junk in a little space and I'll be happy."  Defea stared at him. 

"Haven't you been listening to me?!" she snarled.  "I _can't give it to you!  I can't!  My People will kill me!"_

"Oh-ho." Kegel retorted.  "Well, I can guarantee they'll want your head on a silver platter when 'Grub's' picture is splashed across the evening news.   _Especially when they find out it's all…your…__fault."_

Defea bared her teeth at him for a second.  Then she looked at Grub's pitiful drugged figure, and she seemed to shrink.  "Okay." she said softly.  

"What was that?" Kegel pressed.  Time to take the haughty centaur down a few pegs.  

"_Okay!!" Defea practically shrieked.  "You'll get your technology.  Just give me a couple of days."  _

Kegel frowned.  "A couple days?  Why?"

Defea looked at him scornfully.  "Puh-lease." she scoffed.  "Number one, that's big technology you want, something I don't have just lying around.  And two, you've made off with my delivery boy."  

"Oh."  After a moment, Kegel gained his strength back.  "All right.  Three days.  After that, you can check up on your friend's condition in _The New York Times." _

Defea did not look very happy.  "Yeah, whatever." she said.  "I'll see you in three days."  The screen went blank, and Kegel resisted the urge to rub his hands together.  He tossed the bleary Grub into his cell.  It was a very quickly renovated closet.  Basically it had cement walls, a steel door, and little flap to push food through.  Kegel was proud of that flap.  It was made to only move one way, so the prisoner couldn't crawl out, and it was booby trapped on the inside.  He smirked.

"Sorry about the treatment." he said, not sounding sorry at all.  "The food will be better."

Grub looked up at him.  "W-who are you?" he asked hoarsely.  Suddenly the little being blanched.  "Where are my things?!"

Kegel shook his head.  "That nasty looking gun is in safe storage.  As for your helmet, I plan to take it apart here shortly and learn how it works." 

Grub glared at him.  Kegel shrugged.  "Calm down; as long as Defea cooperates, you'll be fine." 

Grub snorted.  "Uh-huh.  Don't bet on it, buster.  You'll be sorry." 

"Oh, really?" Kegel said, looking at the little being.  "And why would I be sorry?"  

"B-because when my brother finds out about this, you'll wish that you'd never heard of Trouble."  

Kegel laughed.  "You don't scare me, little man."  

Grub grinned grimly.  He knew what Trouble would do to this Mud Man.  "Maybe I don't, but he will." 

Kegel laughed again.  It was hard to take this 'Grub' seriously when his knees were knocking together like that.  Pitiful.  His brother was probably just as pathetic, if not worse.  

            Grub took a deep breath.  Here he was, exchanging threats with this Mud Man instead of doing what LEP procedure dictated!  He had to stay strong.  He had to try and _mesmerize the creep.  _

            "Hey, you!" Grub called when he belatedly realized the Mud Man was leaving.  

            Kegel turned, looking a little annoyed.  "I have a name; it's Kegel."  

"Kegel, huh?" Grub said, his voice resonating with deep tones.  "Well, then Kegel, let me go."  

            The computer nerd stared at him for a second, then laughed.  "That's great!" he chuckled.  "I always knew I had a certain 'charm' about me, but I never dreamed fairies had it too!"  

            Grub's jaw was somewhere about his ankles.  "But…but…the _mesmer_…"  

            Kegel shrugged.  "I have a…_talent of convincing my boss for raises.  I never thought it that hard.  What, is it something most people can't do?" _

            "Only a few certain humans are able to do the _mesmer_." Grub said reluctantly.  Unfortunately, most humans who could _mesmer_ were remarkably resistant against being _mesmer_ized.  "Consider yourself lucky."  

            "Oh, I do." Kegel said.  "Because if I didn't, you would have been out of here a long time ago.  This way, none of your fairy friends can stop me!"  He laughed again, and left the cell.  

            Grub sat in his corner and sulked.  That creep.  This was not good.  When Defea told her superiors about this, anyone they sent for a rescue would not be able to _mesmerize Kegel into cooperating.  And he couldn't warn them.  D'Arvit!_

AN:      So for all of you who _assumed Grub was the bad guy…_

ASN:  You know what they say about assuming.  

AN:       This chapter was a little bit longer than usual…

ASN:    But that's okay, 'cause the next chapter will be a little shorter than usual.  

AN:      MUST YOU KEEP FINISHING ALL MY SENTENCES????!!!!

ASN:   It's what I do best.  Annoying you, that is.  

AN:      *sticks out tongue*  Wait.  An idea.  

ASN:   You have ideas??

AN:       *sticks out tongue and makes rude gesture*  

ASN:    Where did you learn that?!

AN:      You.  In the car.  When you drive.  ANYWAY, what if we give the readers a preview of the upcoming chapter?  If we start doing that, maybe we'll get more reviews.  

ASN:    Okaaaay.  I can do this.  Coming soon:  

                        **Artemis did not look amused.  In fact, for the very first time Holly had ever seen, he looked downright _pissed_.**

AN:       Can you guess who made him mad?  A Hint:  It was a girl.

ASN:   Well, that narrows it down to two.  

AN:       Three actually.  Simone, Holly, and Juliet.  

ASN:    Okay, this note has gone on a little too long.  We'll update soon!  

AN:      When we get to it. 

ASN:    Pessimist.

AN:      Realist. 


	14. The Parents Are Leaving

AN: At long last-

ASN: It's only been two days, dear. 

AN: At long last-

ASN: Whatever.

AN: *Evil glare* AT LONG LAST, the highly awaited chapter 14.

ASN: In which we learn why Artemis is so pissed off. 

**Chapter 14: The Parents Are Leaving **

Defea switched off the screen.  The minute she did, her defeated look was replaced with calm menace.  "That creep." she muttered, returning to her computer. "How dare he try to blackmail me?  And with Grub, nonetheless!  If his brother finds out, I won't be _alive_ to be tried before the Council."  

She typed 'Stephen Kegel' into the search engine of Interpol.  If he worked there, he had to have a file.  After a few moments of reading, she leaned back and groaned.  She had known Kegel was boring, but she didn't think he was _this_ bad.  No family, no girlfriend, no close friends, no cat or dog or goldfish.  The man didn't even own a _plant_, for heaven's sake.  It was sad.  

The centaur sat and thought.  She needed something easy to catch to hold as leverage over Kegel.  Something that he wouldn't dare try to get help with.  Something that worried him to no end…

After a moment, she grinned.  Then Defea clicked on the file about Kegel's boss, Antoine Badeau.  Maybe if she emailed him or something.  Or threatened him.  No, none of those had any real potential…

An evil smile lit the centaur's features.  What do you know?  His boss had a little girl.  How convenient.  

One Simone Badeau.  14 years old.  Smart, bright, a perfect 'daddy's little girl.'  And she was even a foreign exchange student somewhere, so she wouldn't have to deal with her father's Interpol security.  In fact, she was staying at…

"_WHAT?!?!"  _

Fowl Manor.  Defea dropped her head into her hands.  Of course.  It made perfect sense.  After all, every road in Haven led to Artemis Fowl.  Be it up, down, east, west, diagonal or inter-dimensional, every road ended with the pale Mud criminal.  Defea took a deep breath.  She wasn't sure if she could handle this.  After all, she was a thinker, not a doer.  

And come to think of it, she'd _rather take on the Interpol guards than Artemis Fowl.  Foaly had told her about him whenever they were still dating.  She was sure what scared her more: the criminal himself, or the fact that __Foaly was leery of him.  Foaly wasn't scared of anyone.  Not even that commander with the coronary.  _

After a moment, Defea straightened.  Still, she could defeat any Mud Boy any day.  After all, he _was mindwiped.  And Artemis Fowl would be the perfect person to test a few of her new 'gadgets' on.  He was a worthy opponent.  _

**********

Artemis stared at his father.  "You're going to London with Mother…and leaving me here with _her_?" 

Angeline clapped her hands together.  "Artemis, you actually sounded like a teenager!"  

Holly's laughter echoed in his ear as Artemis glared at his parents.  "Thank you for your opinion, Mother." he said very dryly.  Artemis Sr. shook his head.

"Artemis, I have to go to London to sign some papers.  Your mother's coming with me for a little break; after all, our honeymoon _did get cut a little short." _

"You're not even taking one of the Butlers?" 

"No, we're just signing some papers and going to a play.  Two days, Arty." Angeline said.  "Surely you can stand her for two days.  It's not like you'll be forced to spend time with her.  If you must talk to someone, you can talk to Butler or Juliet."  Angeline paused.  "Or this Holly girl you know." 

Artemis resisted the urge to groan.  Loudly.  

"Artemis, are you all right?  You look…ill."  

"Good heavens, I wonder why." he muttered softly.  He didn't think anyone could hear it, but as Holly whacked him, he remembered that elf hearing was much more sensitive. 

            "You know Fowl, if I buzzed you here and now, I'd love to see your explanation to your parents when you jumped three feet off the ground." she said maliciously.

            Artemis Sr. rubbed the bridge of his nose.  "Artemis, I'd love to stay and tell you _why_ this is actually a good idea, but I don't have the time.  So, I'll just tell you this."  He looked squarely at his son.  "Deal with it." 

            The doorbell rang, shattering the tense silence.  "That'll be the airport limo.  We need to go." Artemis Sr. said.  Angeline gave her son a hug, causing Holly to back up with a jerk.  

            "You'll be fine, dear." she said.  "We _do love you." _

            "Yes, Mother." 

            "I really hate it when you do that." Angeline complained.  "We'll see you in two days."  The pair strode regally towards the door.  Artemis waited for it to close, then he turned to walk up to his room.  

            "Sounded just like a teenager, huh?" Holly said, grinning as she followed him up the stairs.  "Simone must be a good influence after all."  

            Artemis resolutely ignored her.  The only hint of his displeasure was him shutting his bedroom door in Holly's face.  

            "That was rude." 

            She opened the door.  "Look, Mud B- oops."  The elf paused.  

Artemis was staring at Simone, who was smiling nervously.  

**********

Artemis shut his door in Holly's face with no small amount of satisfaction.  He turned to find a very annoying French girl sitting in his desk chair with a nervous smile on her face.  

"Hi." she said.  "How are you?" 

The door opened behind Artemis under its own power, paused, then closed just as mysteriously.  Simone blinked.  

"What was that?"

"Wind.  What are you doing in here?" 

"Playing Solitaire."  

Artemis smiled grimly.  "Nice try.  I only have FreeCell."  

"Oh." Simone said flippantly.  "That's why I was losing."  She looked up at the teen and grinned.  "Well, in that case, I think I'll leave and find another computer."  

"You do that."  

Simone pushed away from the desk gracefully and breezed past him.  As she reached for the door handle, his voice stopped her.

"By the way, stealing is also illegal."  

She stopped and turned to face him.  "I'm surprised you knew that."  

Artemis did not look amused.  In fact, for the very first time Holly had ever seen, he looked downright _pissed_.  "Return the disks.  Now." 

Simone looked at him pityingly.  "You are the most paranoid person I have ever had the misfortune to meet."

"I know worse." Artemis said.  Foaly would win hands down any day.  "Give me the disks." 

"I don't know what you're talking about." 

"My dear _lady, and I use the term loosely, I have all of my data disks counted and numbered.  You have three of them hidden somewhere on your person.  Give them back, or so help me, I'll find them myself."  _

Holly almost tripped over her jaw.  Simone started to laugh, saw the look in his eyes, and stopped abruptly.  

"You aren't joking." 

"Mademoiselle, I never joke."  Artemis held out his hand.  Simone laid three CD-Rs carefully in his hand.

"Shame.  You _really_ look like you need a sense of humor."  With that cheeky comment, the girl grinned and walked out.   

Artemis took the disks back to his desk and carefully returned them to their drawer as Holly unshielded.  "Whoa, Arty!" the elf said.  "Be glad your mother wasn't around to hear that."  

Artemis locked the drawer and brought his gaze up to meet Holly's.  Unaccountably, the elf suddenly felt very cold.  

"I think I'll go see what Juliet is up to." she suggested.  The expression on the teen's face did not change, but he nodded slowly.

"That would probably be a very good idea." he stated.  Holly saluted flippantly, and flew out of the room.

AN: Hope you liked that chapter. If you think Artemis is out of character…

ASN: Tough. 

AN: Excuse her. Three weeks into school, and she's starting to flip out. 

ASN: Does not bode well for the 15 weeks left, does it??

AN: If you liked the preview idea, please review/email and tell us. 

ASN: If you don't like it, we'll stop, because it takes time and taxes our already overheated mental capacity. 

AN: * Whines* It's too late to be using such big words. 

ASN: See what I mean?? 


	15. Loops and Lights

AN: Another short chapter.  Though at least we updated, you have to give us that.  

ASN: Sorry, we know you want them to be longer, but they're doing so well in these small chunks.  We'll see if we can get the others longer.  

AN: Anyway, thank you for the amazing reviews, it's so nice to know we're loved!

ASN: It's also nice (in an odd sort of way) to know you'll kill us or threaten us- 

AN: Or call us not so nice names in German, flamaria13.

ASN: -if we don't update.

AN: Although that would be sort of dumb.  If we're dead, we'll _never_ update.  

ASN: Ooh.  The ultimate threat.  

**Chapter 15  Loops and Lights**

Butler frowned at the monitor in _his_ study.  It was a small room next to Mr. Fowl's own study, and contained all of the feeds from the Manor's surveillance equipment.  It was a sophisticated line of real-time monitors from cameras and motion detectors all over the estate.  And it was not working.  

One of the cameras at the east wall of the Manor had suddenly shut down and rebooted.  It had only been for a second and could easily be dismissed as a slight malfunction.  After all, everything on the screen was exactly as it was before.  All was quiet, and not even a leaf moved.  

Something was definitely wrong.  

Juliet came into the study with an elf trailing her.  The two were talking animatedly.  Juliet was fawning over some gnome wrestling disk Holly had brought with her.  They stopped when they saw the annoyed puzzlement on Butler's face.

"What is it, brother dear?" Juliet said, dropping into the seat next to him.  "You look a little more uptight than usual."

"That camera flickered for a second.  I think it may have rebooted itself.  And there's nothing there, just like before."  He looked at the two girls.  "Does anyone else sense something about this?"  

Holly nodded.  "Yep.  It's possible someone's feeding a loop to your system.  Anything could be out there."  

"Like a troll?"  Juliet said dryly.  Holly winced.  

"I'm going to go check it out." Butler stated, standing.  Juliet stood as well.

"Let me, okay?" she chirped.  A little _too_ happily.  Butler studied her.  

"Why do you want to go?" he asked.  Juliet twisted her hair around her little finger.  

"Well, I can take of it really easily, whatever it is." 

"Like a troll?" Butler commented.  Juliet smiled sheepishly.  

"Look, Dom, I just think you should stay in here.  Seriously, it's probably nothing."  

Butler was starting to look unhappy.  Juliet's tone almost seemed to say, 'You should stay because I don't think you can handle it.'  

"Juliet, I am not too old to do this.  This is my job."

"Look," she snapped suddenly, "You _could_ do this.  But that was before Spiro.  You are too old and you know it!  You just won't accept it!"  

Holly was trying her best to find a corner to stand quietly and unobtrusively in.  Not much worried her, but two highly trained Butlers arguing did not bode well.  

"I'm going, Juliet.  We don't have time to stand here and argue!" Butler snapped.  He strode toward the door.  

"I'm coming with you, then!" his little sister said firmly, following him.  They walked out, pointedly ignoring one another.  Holly waved at their retreating backs.  

"I'll just stay here." she commented under her breath.  "It seems to be safer."  The elf flew out into the hall.  All was quiet, but she was starting to get nervous.  Butler had been right; something was wrong…

She went down the corridor quietly.  Her eyes scanned everything quickly and calmly.  The LEPRecon officer was doing what she did best: Recon.  

Everything seemed to be calm.  However, Holly knew from experience that 'calm' did not necessarily mean 'in order'.  Then, she caught movement out of the corner of her eye.  

There was a centaur at the end of the hallway. 

Holly stared.  No _possible_ way…then she pulled herself together.  She unshielded and headed toward the fairy. 

"What are you doing here?!" she hissed.  

The centaur turned to face her, and Holly realized two things: one, there was an unconscious Simone in her arms, and two, she knew this particular centaur.  

"_Defea?!?!_" 

Defea just smiled, not showing any of her apprehension.  "Hello, dear." she said sweetly.  Then she dropped a small ball on the floor and hoofed it down the hall.  

Holly sealed her helmet immediately.  LEP procedure stated that one should seal their helmet against any gases that may be released.  But wouldn't Defea know that…?  

The elf's puzzlement was forgotten by the bright flash of light that was emitted when the ball exploded.  

            Another LEP rule was that the ultraviolet filter should be down when faced with possible blinding lights.  That's why this light took her by such surprise.  

            It was an ultraviolet flash that lasted for about 30 seconds.  Holly gasped as it hit her eyes, blinding her from Defea's escape.  Her only chance of catching the centaur would be from listening to her hooves. 

            _That_ route was cut off by the deafening white noise that blasted her eardrums.  It was apparently being transmitted from that infernal little ball.  Holly couldn't contain a little shriek as decibels of static were poured into her sensitive ears.  It was on all LEP frequencies; she couldn't turn it off.  That left one choice…

            She wrenched her helmet off, gasping as the light and noise were cut off simultaneously.  Her ears rang, and she could almost see the headache coming her way.  Her magic was healing the harmful effects of that noise, but at the moment, Holly was temporarily deaf.  

            A hand touched her shoulder.  Instinctively she grabbed it, wrenching it around and ducking away.  Artemis winced and backed up hurriedly.  His eyes widened when he saw Holly's pale face and the blue sparks zipping around her head.  He mouthed a question.  

            The elf shook her head slowly, unable to answer or even puzzle out what he said as her system recovered from the beating it took.  If that sound had continued much longer, she would have lost consciousness.  

            Artemis waited until she looked up at him before he asked again.  "Holly, what happened?  I thought I heard you yell." 

"I…Defea attacked me."  Artemis looked a little confused at her sentence, but she repeated it anyway.  "Defea attacked me…how dare she?!"  

"Who is…Defea?" Artemis asked.  "What do you mean?" 

"Defea is Foaly's old girlfriend.  We used to be friends.  And she _attacked_ me!"  

"But why was she here?"

At that, Holly gulped.  "D'Arvit, I forgot.  Um, Artemis, you're not going to like this…well, actually, you might…"

He understood instantly.  "She took Simone, didn't she?"  

"Uh-huh."  

Artemis was quiet for a moment.  Then he looked at her.  "And what are we going to do about it?"  

***************

AN: Apparently, more people approved of the preview idea then my sister here.

ASN: *Makes face*

AN: So, here's a review sentence from the next chapter:

**Over the communication line, Holly heard a sharp intake of breath.  "Holly…" Foaly said slowly, "Tell me that's _not_ who I think it is."**

AN: Are you interested?  I know I am!

ASN: And she wrote that part.  

AN: *Sticks out tongue*


	16. The Secret's Blown

AN: We are at chapter 16, right?

ASN: Yes, baka.  It's chapter 16.  

AN: *Sticks tongue out*  Here you go.  It's a little longer then usual; be happy!!

**Chapter 16   The Secret's Blown**

Holly shrugged.  "I have no idea…what's that?"  Her helmet was beeping.  Loudly.  It was a signal from Haven.  She headed over, picked her helmet back up, turned up the volume so Artemis could hear, and spoke into the microphone.  

"Yes?"

"Short, is that you?" Root's voice bellowed, aggravating her newly repaired eardrums.  

"It is, sir." 

"We have a situation down here.  Where are you?" 

Holly blanched and looked at Artemis.  He smirked and gave her no help whatsoever.  

            "Staying with a friend, sir." she said, giving the Mud Boy the evil eye.  "What happened?"  

            "Corporal Grub is missing in action." Foaly cut in.  "Apparently he has been kidnapped.  The feed from his helmet gave us a clear picture.  One Stephen Kegel, working for Interpol's Mr. Antoine Badeau."

            "_HUH_?!"

"What?" Root asked.  

Holly looked at Artemis again.  He was obviously thinking.  Then he nodded.  "The two are interconnected." he pronounced calmly.  "A hostage for a hostage.  It's the only explanation that makes sense." 

Over the communication line, Holly heard a sharp intake of breath.  "Holly…" Foaly said slowly, "Tell me that's _not_ who I think it is." 

Holly went dead white.  Artemis, on the other hand, seemed very pleased.  It wasn't often he saw the elf so flustered, and after this week, it was quite enjoyable.  "Um...what do you mean, Foaly?" she asked a little nervously.

"What are you talking about, donkey?" Root cut in.  "It's just the person Holly's staying with."  He paused.  "Who _are_ you staying with, Holly?  It sounded like a man." 

"Umm…"

"Holly." Foaly said flatly.  "I'll ask you one question, and you answer it truthfully.  From there, I'll decide if Root needs to know.  All right?" 

Holly knew she was going to be killed either way.  "Sure."

"He didn't remember you." 

There was a long pause.  Then Holly answered.  "He does now." 

"_D'Arvit!_"  

"Um, hello?"  Root sounded unamused.  "I'm lost, and I don't like being lost."  

"Holly, are you in trouble?" Foaly asked, ignoring the commander.  "Do we need to come get you?" 

"She's perfectly fine." Artemis answered.  "This was all a misunderstanding." 

"No…" Root said suddenly.  "No.  Foaly, please tell me I'm going insane."  

"Love to." the centaur said a little frantically.  "But I'm a little busy.  Holly, are you _sure_ you're all right?" 

"Yes!" she snapped.  "Look, there's something going on here that none of us understand completely.  Can we _please_ get back to the Mud Boy later?!"

Root came on again, and even his voice seemed to be on the verge of a complete breakdown.  "Captain, you have a _lot_ to answer for.  As do you, donkey.  You assured me he would never remember!"  

"Commander, please!" Holly said.  "This is important."  

"_Now_ what is it, Short?!"

"This Antoine Badeau of yours, does he have a daughter named Simone?"  

A pause as Foaly began to tap keys.  Then, "Yes.  Foreign exchange student.  Why?" 

"I may know who started this." she answered.  "Unfortunately, Fowl has a big part in it.  Permission to bring him down?"  

"Why?" Root demanded.  "What does he have to do with this?"

"Commander Root…"  Artemis said, smoothly plucking the helmet out of Holly's hand and ignoring her outraged protest, "All will become clear.  But it would be much easier for us if we could face one another.  A meeting in Haven is fine, or if you prefer, we can hold our conversation over video." 

"Video." Root grumbled reluctantly after a moment or two.  "And if you've done anything to Captain Short, Fowl, so help me, I'll-"

"Believe me, Commander;" Artemis interrupted smoothly, "Captain Short is as cheerful as ever."  Holly scowled at him.  

            "All right." Foaly said, "I've gotten back into Fowl's computer systems.  And to believe I was lazy enough to not monitor them after the six month period.  By the way, Mud Boy, why are your security systems tighter than before?"  

"You'll discover that shortly." Artemis said, standing.  "Come with me, Captain, and I'll set up a video feed.  I'll be with you two gentlemen in a moment."  He flicked off the microphone.  "Coming?"

Holly followed him calmly, though her mind was raging.  She had been right; Root was going to kill her.  And before she achieved her goal, too…

**********

Artemis strolled into his study and started up his machines.  He was confident Foaly would do the rest.  Sure enough, the commander and the centaur appeared on the screen shortly after.   

"Captain!  Are you all right?" Root barked the moment the picture came alive.  "You don't look so good- what did you do to her, Fowl?!"

"I did nothing." Artemis said with dignity.  "Captain Short hasn't told me what happened."  

"Commander," Holly began, "It was not Fowl's fault.  I was attacked by a special kind of bomb."  

"What kind?" Foaly piped, now interested.  

"Instead of it being a gas bomb, it seemed targeted specifically for LEP officers.  It gave off a large flash of ultraviolet light and deafening white noise on all LEP frequencies.  Since, due to regulation, I had my helmet sealed and my filter on ultraviolet, I was temporarily blinded and deafened.  The attacker got away."  Holly did not look pleased to report that fact.  

"This attacker seems to be knowledgeable in fairies in general and the LEP in particular.  Who was he, and what did he want in _this_ specific place?" Root asked, his face slowly reddening.  "And why exactly were you at Fowl Manor, Captain?"    

Holly ignored the last question.  "My attacker kidnapped a girl staying here, by the name of Simone Badeau."  

Foaly frowned.  "Antoine's daughter?"  

"Yes." Artemis interjected.  "A foreign exchange student my parents recently brought home."  

"I bet _that_ pleased you." Foaly muttered.  "Holly, you never said who this attacker guy was."  

"That's because it wasn't a guy…" Holly said, looking a little nervous.  

"Then who was it?" Root exploded.  "Tell us, Captain!" 

"…it was Defea." 

Root frowned.  Foaly's jaw seemed to be somewhere around his ankles.  "Wha??" the centaur blurted.  "Defea!  _My_ Defea?!  At that sentence, both Root and Holly raised their eyebrows.  Foaly flushed a little bit.  "I mean- uh…she couldn't have-!"  

"She did.  I saw her.  And believe me, she wasn't going to stop simply because she knew me."  

"But…" Foaly floundered.  

"Oh, shut up, donkey!  You and Defea are over; stop trying to protect her!" Root snarled.  "I just want to know what's up with her kidnapping the daughter of the Mud Man Kegel works for!"  

"It's possible," Artemis started softly, "that Defea knows Kegel."  

"And if so," Root said, rounding on him, "why would Kegel kidnap Corporal Kelp?!  Unless he knows _you_, of course!" he added nastily.  

"Now, Julius, don't bait the Mud Boy." Foaly commented.  "We may need him after all."  

"What for?!" Root exclaimed.  "He's nothing but a headache.  I've personally had more than enough of him, and I _still want to know why you were with him, Captain_!"  

Holly cringed.  "It's a really long story, Commander." she said lamely.  Artemis raised an eyebrow.  

"Oh really, Captain?  It didn't take very long for you to explain to me." he remarked.  

Root seemed to swell.  "_Holly…_"  

Holly glared at the Mud Boy threateningly.  "And after all I've done for you." she hissed.  "Are you _trying_ to get me fired?!"

"Should I be?" 

Holly controlled a scream of fury and turned back to the screen.  "Sir, we really do need to decide what we're going to do.  Can we _please_ argue about this later?" 

Root fumed for a moment, then subsided.  "All right, Captain.  Bring the Mud Boy, along with Butler.  I'll clear out all citizens from E1.  After they're down here, we'll decide what to do with them." 

"What about Juliet?" Artemis asked blandly.  Root turned an interesting shade of purple.  

"Bring her as well.  Now get _moving_, Captain!" he growled.  Holly complied as Artemis turned off the screen.  

"An interesting development." he commented.  This time Holly just punched his shoulder.  She was too angry to try hitting higher.  

"You've just succeeded in getting me into some of the deepest trouble there could possibly be, and you call it an _interesting development_?!" she hissed.  

"Perhaps."  

The elf made an odd noise.  Before she could hurt Artemis like she so desperately wanted, the Butlers returned.  "We covered the entire manor, because we thought we saw something.  Whatever it was, it was gone before we could catch up." Juliet reported.  Butler seemed to be a little out of breath.  

"Don't worry, we found it." Holly grumbled.  "Pack up people; we're going on a trip."  

"What?" Juliet asked, a little confused.  "A trip?  Holly, are you okay?  How can we go anywhere with you when Simone's around?" 

"Simone is part of this trip, Juliet." Artemis stated calmly.  

Butler understood first.  "Simone somehow knows about the fairies?" he said cautiously.  Holly and Artemis nodded.  "How?"

"She was kidnapped." Holly said, checking her weapon.  "You have a car, Mud Boy?"  Artemis just looked at her.  "Thought so."

"Kidnapped?!" Juliet echoed.  "She was kidnapped by a fairy?!"  

"Yep.  And now we get to go talk to my commander about it." Holly said, not sounding overly pleased.  

"Why should Root care?" Butler asked.  "The fairies usually don't help out the humans."  

"I'll bring you up to date on the way." Artemis said smoothly.  Holly shook her head.  

"Try again.  I'll have to _mesmer_ize you.  Can't have Mud Men knowing how to get to Haven, you know."

"In that case, I'll bring you up to date on the way to the car." the teen amended.  Then he paused.  "Butler, Juliet, you aren't required to come."  Holly opened her mouth to argue, but he held up a hand.  "If you wish to stay here, I won't be offended."

"You aren't going anywhere without me." Juliet declared, shaking her head.  "I have to keep an eye on you, after all."

Butler frowned.  "Artemis, I may be older, but I am still your bodyguard.  You are not leaving me behind." 

Artemis nodded.  Holly finished running over her mental checklist, and nodded as well.  "All right, then.  Let's go!"   

**************************

AN: All right everyone, I've been reading the reviews, and some of you say yes to previews, and some say no.  

ASN: NO!

AN: Creep.  Anyway, unless you all throw huge humongous fits, I'm not going to do them anymore.  Okay?  

ASN: Okay!!  

AN: You don't count.  Anyway, hope you enjoyed.  Oh, would you all prefer little chapters every other day or one big long chapter every week?  Tell us; we're getting sort of sick of people complaining about the length of the chapters.  

ASN: And a big long chapter every other day is not an option.  

AN: Till next time!!


	17. What is Going On?

AN: Ah!  This chapter is much longer than I meant it to be.  After all, we decided to do short chapters every other day, but this is longer than usual.  

ASN: But don't expect this to become a habit.  We are rapidly running out of story.  

AN: *Pretends to swoon* Horror of horrors!  We will have to *gasp* actually write more!!

ASN: Oh shut up.  

**Chapter 17     What is Going On??**

Luckily for Holly, Root had come through on his promise and cleared out the platform at Tara.  She got her passengers down to Haven safely, and into LEP headquarters.  From there, things began to get a little out of hand.  

It started with Captain Trouble Kelp being in the conference room with Foaly and Root.  

"C-C-Commander," he stuttered when Holly opened the door.  "Wh-what are _they_ doing here?" He stared at the Mud Men behind Holly a little fearfully, but he especially kept an eye on the big one.  

"They're here to talk, and that's _all_." Root growled.  "Do you hear me, Fowl?  You talk, and then you're on your way home again, without those memories of yours!"  

Artemis raised an eyebrow.  "With all respect, Commander," he said calmly, "I believe my involvement in this is going to include a little more than information brokering."  Root frowned at him menacingly, but when Artemis didn't react, he sighed and waved a hand at a chair.  

"Sit." the elf grumbled.  Artemis did so, and the Butlers followed his response.  Holly, however, hung near the door, trying to avoid her Commander's gaze.  

"Holly." Root said with a vicious bite to his voice.  "Sit down.  We'll talk later."  The look on her commander's face was almost enough to make Holly wish she'd never heard of LEPRecon.  She sat.  

"Fowl," Foaly began, "This is Captain Trouble Kelp."  Butler studied Trouble thoughtfully.  

"I know you, don't I?" he asked.  "You look familiar."  Trouble nodded.  

"I was part of the Retrieval team you attacked a few years ago." he said in a flat monotone.  Now that he had gotten over the fact Mud Men were in Haven, Trouble was professional again.  But that didn't mean he had to be nice.  "And you met my little brother as well.  He was the one you spoke to."

"Ah.  The no-ranker." Butler said, smiling a little.  "Yes, I remember now." 

Artemis finally realized why the name 'Kelp' seemed familiar.  "Your brother is the elf who was kidnapped." he stated.

"Took you long enough." Root muttered.  Artemis just ignored him.  After all, the teen had practiced that particular skill a lot in the past week.  

"All right." Foaly interrupted.  "That's enough.  Artemis, what can you tell me about this Simone girl?" 

"Simone is French, a foreign exchange student.  She came to my house about a week ago.  Her father dotes on her constantly, and provides her with very up-to-date technology.  She's very smart, nosy, irritating, and determined to put my entire family in prison, as is her father."  

"I think he likes her." Holly said softly.  Foaly almost swallowed the pen he was chewing on with his laughter.  Root couldn't hide a smirk.  The Butlers, of course, had much more practice at controlling their mirth, and were sitting quietly.  Trouble seemed a little confused, and Artemis looked distinctly annoyed.  

"Captain…" 

She looked at him innocently.  Foaly started to get a very vague idea of exactly what had been going on at Fowl Manor.  He _almost_ felt sorry for the Mud Boy.

Almost.  

"Anyway," the centaur said, still smiling a little, "is that why your computer systems were guarded better than usual, and why your documents seemed remarkably legitimate?" 

"Yes." Artemis said, still scrutinizing Holly out of the corner of his eye.  "She had attempted to break into my hard drive." 

"How far did she get?" Foaly asked with interest.  

"Not very far." Artemis stated.  "I may not have had fairy technology at my disposal, but my computer is still far more advanced than most others on Earth." 

"But not under it." Holly commented.  He ignored her.  

"Look, as much as I enjoy watching Fowl squirm for a change, we need to get down to business." Root interrupted.  "We have two kidnappings, and they're obviously related.  Foaly, explain to me again this relationship between Simone and Kegel, and Kegel and the fairies."  

"Well," Foaly started, falling into 'Professor I Know Everything' mode, "Kegel works for an Interpol inspector named Antoine Badeau.  Badeau has a daughter, Simone."  He stopped.   

"Okay, that's nice," the commander said calmly.  Foaly, Holly, and Trouble all winced.  Root exploded, on schedule.  "HOW DID KEGEL KNOW ABOUT GRUB?!?!"

"Well, um…" Foaly shuffled his hooves nervously.  "Julius, this is really hard for me to say…"

"Don't call me Julius and say it anyway." Root snarled.  

"I don't know."  

"_You_ don't know?" Root asked incredulously.  Foaly nodded miserably, visions of a rapidly diminishing budget dancing in his head.  

"If we look at this logically, it's really quite obvious."  Artemis stated.  "Simone's kidnapping came right on the heels of Corporal Kelp's kidnapping.  Therefore, Defea must have kidnapped Simone, his employer's daughter, in retaliation."

"Right." Root agreed.  "But in retaliation for what?" 

Artemis shrugged, unperturbed at the rapid fire questioning.  "I don't know."  

"_You_ don't know?" Holly asked sarcastically.  Artemis crossed his arms and leaned back in his chair, his patented blank look firmly on his face.  

"I may be a genius, Captain, but I'm not psychic."  Holly sneered and was about to say something when Trouble interrupted.  

"Why would Defea be in contact with some Mud Man techno geek anyway?"

"Well," Foaly said, "She is a pretty good inventor, and she's had some great ideas."  

"That's the answer." Artemis said.  "Defea's trading technology with Mr. Kegel.  You had said, Foaly, when examining my laptop a year or so ago, that you felt someone may have been leaking fairy technology."

"Yes, the filters on your computer were very advanced for your primitive species.  You cobbled them together from the stuff you captured from us, right?" Foaly asked.

"No.  I bought them."

Foaly was shocked.  "You bought them." he repeated.

"Yes.  From Dell." Artemis said with a slight smile. 

"Dell." Foaly repeated once again.  Then he whirled to Root.  "Julius, I NEED a bigger budget!  I only developed those filters a century or so ago, and the Mud Men are already catching up!"

"Oh.  Only a century." Holly said blandly.  Root shook his head, annoyed.  

"Forget about the budget, it's not going to change anyway.  Why would Defea be trading technology with the Mud Men?" he asked.  "There's no _logical_ reason, Fowl, that she would risk our cover like that."  

"Money."  Butler offered.  "It's a driving force in any species."  

Foaly snorted.  "Defea doesn't need any money.  She gets a regular stipend from her uncle's estate monthly.  Face it, she's rich." 

All the fairies stopped their brainstorming as Artemis's usual smirk reappeared on his face.  "She inherited money from her uncle." he repeated.

Trouble nodded.  A strange sound filled the room, and all the fairies turned to see Juliet trying very hard not to laugh, and not succeeding.  At all.  

"You…_actually_ believed that?" she gasped in her mirth.  Even Butler was grinning.  Root, however, was not amused.  

"We checked her out, and she did have an uncle who died." he replied defensively.  Juliet straightened a bit.  

"Yeah, but did you check to see if her uncle's estate was that big?  Did he actually leave her huge amounts of money?"  Everyone turned to Foaly, who colored.  A strange sight on a centaur.  

"Well…we were going out at the time and I didn't think it was important." he muttered.  Juliet started laughing again.  

"Face it, the LEP was duped by the oldest trick in the book.  Everyone knows that the best way to explain a sudden increase in income is to claim a rich relative died." 

"Yes, and you would naturally know this, working with the Fowls, wouldn't you?" Trouble growled.  All of them were a little embarrassed to be lectured on police procedures by mere humans.  And criminals, at that!  

            "Could we please STOP getting off track!" Root bellowed.  "All right.  Defea didn't get her money from her uncle.  I'll give you that, Fowl.  Now explain to me why she picked Kegel.  And how was she trading technology with him in the first place?"  

            "And why is my brother mixed up in this?" Trouble grumbled.  

            "Simple."  Artemis tried to keep the condescension out of his voice, but by the tenseness of Root's shoulders, he suspected he didn't succeed.  "With the Internet and the everyday use of email and video conferencing, she could run her business without ever leaving her home down here.  And in the matter of why she chose Kegel, it could have been something as easy as just placing an ad for her technology innovations on the Internet and Kegel answered.  It's also possible that Defea researched and chose Kegel for his Interpol connections and therefore, a large budget and an organization used to dealing with the shady side of the law when necessary."

            "Well…" Holly said slowly, "In any case, we're going to have to either negotiate a truce between Kegel and the People…"

            "No!" said Root.  "I am NOT leaving another Mud Man unmindwiped and able to take advantage of us again."  He glared significantly at Artemis, who pointedly ignored this comment.  

            "Or," Holly continued, "We try to retrieve both hostages."  

            "That's not going to work." Foaly protested.  "As soon as we get the hostage from one of the kidnappers, the other will be alerted and know we're coming.  They'll also then be more desperate and more likely to hurt someone."

            "That's why we perform two simultaneous operations and retrieve both hostages at once." Holly shot back.  Foaly's jaw dropped.

            "You know how _complicated_ that would be to pull off?!  You'd have to synchronize the operations exactly.  Double the equipment, double the manpower, twice as hard to succeed.  _You_ might not die, but somebody will!"

            "Do you have any better ideas, donkey?" Root asked.  Foaly opened his mouth, raised a finger, then sighed.

            "Not at the moment."

            "All right, until you think of something better, we'll go with Holly's plan."  Root said firmly.  

            Foaly scowled.  "It's practically impossible!" he whined.  

            Holly grinned mischievously.  "That's why we're putting you in charge.  If anyone can do it, it's you, Foaly."  

            Foaly's scowl deepened.  "I liked it better when you were picking on the Mud Boy."

            Butler stepped forward.  "Whatever we're doing, we need to initiate it quickly.  Every moment we delay is another chance for the kidnappers to get anxious and possibly kill a hostage."

"Besides, Simone's father is coming in two days, and we'd sorta like to have her back by then." Juliet added.  Artemis said nothing.  

Trouble nodded.  "Not only that, but every moment we delay makes it more likely that Kegel will have developed back-up files of fairy knowledge.  We don't want him to run across a fairy file two or three years from now and regain all his information, giving him a chance to wreak havoc on the People again."

"Like some people we know." Foaly said darkly.  Holly's glance at Foaly seemed distinctly troubled.  On the other hand, Artemis's expression did not change, but he sighed deeply.

"You do of course realize that regaining my memories was an accident."  Foaly, Root, and Trouble looked at him doubtfully.  

"Yeah _right_." the three chorused.  Holly rolled her eyes.  Then the LEP officers turned back and began their real jobs: designing the missions.  And ignoring Artemis.  

Artemis did not like being ignored.  Not many people ignored him.  After a few scathing comments, no wise person would turn his back on him, much less ignore him.  In fact, the only people who had ever ignored him before were…the People.

***************

AN: Now, in case any of you care, here's what we've decided:

ASN: Except for a few, most people preferred short chapters every other day.  So expect updates then.  If an update is late-

AN: -it's her fault.  

ASN: *Makes face* Also, most people wanted a preview

AN: And they threw very amusing fits.  I was impressed.

ASN: This coming from a professional complainer.  Feel honored.  

AN: I'm ignoring you.  Anyway, if you don't want a preview, stop reading now.  If you do, then by all means, continue.  

STOP READING IF YOU DON'T WANT TO BE SPOILED!! (Sort of spoiled, anyway.)

In the next chapter (Dum dum dum dum!):

**The centaur now seemed really mad.**  **"Um, hello?  You're beginning to annoy me, and that isn't a great idea.  I'm the kidnapper, you shouldn't antagonize me; I  might be unstable."  **

**"Might?" Simone snorted.  "There's no might about it, _sweetheart_."  **

AN: So, how was that?  Are you rapidly racking your brains for what might have caused such a conversation?  
ASN: That would have to be a no.  

AN: Yeah, yeah, love you too.  Anyway, till next update!!


	18. Impossibilities and Ideas

AN: Okay, excuse time.  

ASN: Here we go.  

AN: Now, I know I was supposed to update on Saturday, but due to various events, I was unable to.  

ASN: She forgot. 

AN: Did not.  Then, Sunday, I went to upload the chapter and it didn't work on my dad's computer.  At all.  Nothing.  So, I went to try uploading on the kid computer.  And it crashed and needed rebooted.  So I rebooted it. 

ASN: Do any of you readers care?

AN: *Ignores her* And then, when it rebooted, I realized the DSL was down, and the Internet not working.  Did anyone hear me scream?  

ASN: I did.  

AN: So, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I beg for forgiveness at your feet.  Here's the new chapter.  

**Chapter 18  Impossibilities and Ideas**

Simone woke to a _pounding_ headache.  She opened her eyes blearily, and immediately closed them again.  She MUST be hallucinating.  After all, where else would you find centaurs but in a mind that was not working properly?  Much less one that talked to itself?

"I am going to kill him." Defea muttered.  "This was going to be simple.  Trade my employee for his boss's daughter.  Shake hands.  Mindwipe the two humans.  Go back down to Haven.  Convince Grub that the experiment was a failure, and should never be spoken about.  Take my money, and go work for Koboi Labs for a decade or so, and start over with another greedy Mud Man.  Easy.  No problem.  A perfect plan.  So, WHAT HAPPENED?!?!"  

The centaur seethed for a few minutes, then continued nattering to herself.  "I _told_ him never to leave on the video feed.  If anyone in the LEP who doesn't understand our mission sees it, all our research would be lost.  Never, _ever_ leave your helmet feed on.  So what does the moron do?  Leaves the video on, so his brave and daring heroics can be captured for posterity."  She paused, whispering very uncomplimentary things about Grub under her breath.

"And?" prompted a cool voice from the enclosed couch.

"AND NOW, the LEP is going to know he's missing, know he was kidnapped by a Mud Man, and know it was Kegel.  Holly saw me and is going to report it to her commander, and that will eventually lead them back _here_.  So no matter what happens, I get thrown in jail."  Defea forced herself to take deep breaths, and stopped squarely in the middle of one.

"Oh.  You're awake."  

The Mud Maid looked up at Defea without an ounce of fear showing on her face.

"You have _really_ gotten yourself into a mess, haven't you?" she said.  "So many different people on your tail, and such little time to deal with all of them."  She raised an eyebrow.  "Has it finally occurred to you why the police keep saying kidnapping is so _stupid_?"  

Defea frowned.  There weren't many things that would ruffle her fur, but having her intelligence insulted was one of them.  "Excuse me?  I am not stupid; nor am I _doing_ anything stupid.  I am one of the smartest fairies you could meet."  Simone rolled her eyes.  

"That's doesn't say much for your race." she muttered.  

"Look sweetheart," Defea snapped, "You have no idea what a fairy really is, so I wouldn't suggest bad mouthing us.  _That's_ stupid.  Just sit back and hang out on that couch while I work.  Then everything will be hunky-dory, and you'll have fulfilled your reason for being here."  

"Uh-huh." Simone muttered.  "You didn't seem too confident that everything would end happily earlier.  Change your mind?" 

The centaur now seemed really mad.  "Um, hello?  You're beginning to annoy me, and that isn't a great idea.  I'm the kidnapper, you shouldn't antagonize me; I might be unstable."  

"Might?" Simone snorted.  "There's no might about it, _sweetheart_."  

"Arrggh!" Defea growled.  In frustration, she tapped a key on her keyboard.  A gas flooded the little area around the couch, and before it could escape through the air vents, Defea closed those.  Simone's eyes drooped, and she collapsed flat onto the couch.  Defea grinned.  "That's much better.  I should have done that-" she looked at her watch, "-three seconds after she woke up.  No, three seconds _before_ she woke up."  

The centaur went back to her papers, trying to plan out a way to escape from the slowly tightening noose she had wandered into.  Though she'd never admit it, maybe the Mud Maid had been right.  This _was_ stupid.  And it was probably going to be impossible to get out of this mess.  

**********

Holly threw her hands up into the air.  "This is impossible!" she exclaimed.  "We _cannot_ do this with so few people."  Trouble nodded agreement as he stared at the paper broodingly.  

"Care to explain the problem to me?" Artemis interrupted, straightening from his relaxed pose and coming to look over their shoulders.  He raised an eyebrow.  "After all, I _might_ be able to help."  Though the expression didn't change, the slight sting in his words showed that he was displeased with being left out.

"Well, we need a way to get into Kegel's place without being caught.  And we need a way to get to Defea's.  Now, Kegel's a paranoid techno nerd, so he's bound to have traps and security everywhere.  Defea's also into technology, _and_ she knows a lot about LEP procedure."  Trouble listed the problems calmly.  "We have very little chance of being able to sneak up on either of them."  

Juliet waved her hand a little, bringing the attention to her.  "What about Mulch?  He seems to be pretty good at breaking into places." 

Artemis nodded.  "True, I'm certain Mulch could be coerced into helping for a shorter prison sentence."  Root was beginning to turn purple.  "Mulch is still in prison, right Commander?"  

The Commander was almost quivering. "Some _moron_ messed up on that idiot's warrant, so he got off on a technicality and has disappeared.  Apparently he's legitimate now."  He took a few deep breaths.  "He's no help for us."

"He's no help because he's legitimate and doesn't want to break the law, or because you can't blackmail him into helping like you've done before?" Artemis asked, not flinching as Root rounded on him.  

"You are starting to push your luck, Fowl." he began, but before he could continue, Juliet interrupted.  She didn't want to see the commander have a heart attack, after all.  

"What about a reimbursement for Mulch's help?  He wouldn't refuse that-" 

"NO!" Root bellowed, now almost blue.  "I am NOT paying that criminal to do crime!" 

"Of course you're not." Artemis murmured, gazing over the half written plans.  "That's what I'm here for."  For a moment, the group could have sworn Root's heart stopped.  

"Fowl," he ground out between his clenched teeth, "That's it.  I have no reason to keep any of you here.  None at all.  Why don't we just mindwipe you now and send you back to your little manor, where you wait patiently until we return with the French girl?  Give me ONE reason why I should even _consider_ letting you keep those memories a little longer."  

"Butler." Artemis said flatly.  "Would you like another?  Juliet.  You are not going to be able to get through Interpol headquarters to Kegel's lab without one of them.  If your ego cannot handle accepting my help, you have to at least realize that you need one of the Butlers."    
            The room went dead silent.  Everyone stared as a muscle started to twitch in Root's jaw.  

"All right." he said finally.  "Those are good reasons.  So, Mr. Genius, do you have any other ideas?"  

Artemis gave his vampire smile.  "I have a few."

********************

ASN: And there it is.  Now we have many thanks to give out to our wonderful reviewers.  

AN: About _all_ of our reviews have been wonderful, glowing reports.  I mean, we're up to 200!  That's so amazing!!

ASN: Now, to answer questions and comments…

Trinity Day: Thank you so much!  It's so nice to hear praise.  Especially since our parents think we're slightly insane to be writing a fanfiction.  

Syeratti and all the other A/H shippers:  We know this would be a great Artemis/Holly story, but unfortunately, the story is not going that way.  At the most, Holly and Artemis will have a serious discussion about trust.  But that's all that's going to happen.  Unless we write a sequel.  J

scarletswitchblade:  Thank you for your comments.  Yes, the bullcrap idea was dumb, and the moment Lessa stops being lazy, she'll repost that chapter with it being changed.  *Lessa sticks tongue out at sister*  Also, the part with Simone and Defea sounded like Artemis talking to Foaly in the first book on purpose.  It was just a way of comparing the two situations.  We thought it was funny.  

Jade Sabre: Thank you!  We also think we write very well together, and if we could actually come up with an original idea, Ryn and I might write a story together.  We'll see.  

MysticAngel4: I'm glad you liked the preview idea.  I think it's helpful to add a little bit of anticipation, like previews for an _Enterprise_ episode.  (Sorry, Lessa is a big Star Trek fan and since the season premiere was on Wed., she's been a little…obsessed.)  

babybluecrest: About your comment about this being the best Artemis Fowl fic ever… we love you.  

EvilSpirit: What _is_ the second sign of madness?  I want to know, even if Ryn doesn't.  It'll be something new to tell my friends.  

A.L.T2: Artemis and Simone together?  I'd never thought of that, and to be honest, I think they'd kill each other.  Within the first hour.  

And to everyone else: (I'd keep doing name by name, but I feel lazy)  Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!!  May you be blessed with long life and great story ideas!!  

AN: We have the greatest reviewers.  *Sniffles and wipes eyes*  

ASN: Shush.  You'll make me cry, and I'm supposed to be the sane one.  

AN: *Frowns*  Now, the prview's coming up, so if you have a problem with it, stop now!!

ASN: How many people do you know put up disclaimers for their _previews_??

AN: Ignore her. Anyway, here it is: 

Okay, now here it is.

**Clay opened his mouth to reply when the doorbell rang.  He sighed and pointed a finger at his cousin.  "You just sit there and think about it, Mulch." he demanded as he headed to the door.  "And I hope you realize that you can't support yourself with crime."  **

**"Odd." a smooth voice responded.  "It's worked just fine for me."**

AN: Hee, hee. I can't wait to hear what you all think about this twist.

ASN: The story twist or your twisted brain?

AN: You obviously haven't been getting enough sleep.

ASN: Of course I haven't. You know about that stupid test I have to take.

AN: I know. And if I didn't have Trig this semester, I might pity you.

*AS glares at A.*


	19. Heigh Ho, Heigh Ho

AN: I figure I'd better post this before the winds get any worse.  

ASN: Hurricane, coming our way without delay! 

AN: Yeah, it's gonna get pretty ugly here soon.  So, enjoy the new chapter, and if you can…pray your faithful authors don't drown.

ASN: And you'd better hope our computers don't get fried, and we lose the story completely.  

AN: AHHH!  Don't say such things!!

**Chapter 19    Heigh Ho, Heigh Ho, It's Back to Work We Go**

Mulch had been legitimate for half a year.  It was an amazing record.  And with how bad his cabin fever was becoming, it was probably going to be broken shortly.  

"I told you!  I am not going to get a normal job!  That's for normal people, and I, dear cuz, am not normal."  

"I know." muttered Clay.  Clay Diggums was Mulch's older cousin.  He, however, was a solid citizen in Haven and going to stay that way.  Not only that, he was determined to make Mulch a law abiding citizen as well.  Because of that goal, he refused to let Mulch out of his sight during the day and out of the house at night.  Mulch was beginning to feel claustrophobic.  And his cousin wanted him to get a job in the mine!

 "Claaaaaay," he whined, "I know I said I was bored, but that didn't mean I wanted a job!  I was just making a statement.  Like, 'I'm sick of this house!'" 

"Perfectly understandable; I'm sick of you." Clay snapped.  "I'm trying to get you to establish an untarnished reputation here, Mulch!  The _least_ you can do is cooperate!" 

"But I like my tarnished reputation; it's comfortable."  

"Ahhhh!"  Clay almost yanked out a tuft of his beard, then thought better of it.  "Mulch, come on.  You're going be broke if you don't get a job, and you won't be able to support yourself.  And before you say it, I'm not going to babysit you forever.  I have my own life." 

"_I_ had _my_ own life, too." Mulch grumbled.  "But no one seemed to appreciate all the work I did establishing it."  

Clay opened his mouth to reply when the doorbell rang.  He sighed and pointed a finger at his cousin.  "You just sit there and think about it, Mulch." he demanded as he headed to the door.  "And I hope you realize that you can't support yourself with crime."  

"Odd." a smooth voice responded.  "It's worked just fine for me."  

Clay blanched when he saw exactly who his visitors were.  Mulch, on the other hand, leapt up at the voice and almost squealed with glee.  

"It couldn't be!  Fowl, _here_?  I thought you were mindwiped!"  The former convict's smile disappeared as he noticed the other People.  "Ah.  The LEP.  Hello, Julius.  Thanks for coming to visit; how did you know I missed you?" 

Root, who had already looked mad to begin with, turned redder.  "Do not call me Julius, convict!"  

"Don't call me convict then, _Julius!_" Mulch snapped back.  Clay turned even whiter.  

"M-M-Mulch…" he whispered hoarsely, "You're arguing with a LEP commander.  That's not the greatest idea, you know…"  Mulch ignored him.  

"Come on in everyone." he said graciously.  "There's enough room."  

The group filed in, and Mulch almost keeled over.  The Butlers, Fowl, Holly, Julius, Kelp _and_ Foaly.  To get Foaly out of his precious Operations Booth meant something extreme was going on.  And since they hadn't arrested him at the door… that meant they didn't think it was his fault.  And _that_ meant…he wasn't going to be bored much longer. 

"So, what can I do for you gents?  And ladies." he added.  "After all, I'm merely a legitimate hard-working-"

Clay started laughing.

"-dwarf." Mulch finished with dignity.  "I really don't think you came all this way just to see me."  

No one responded.  They were all waiting for Root to speak.  The Commander, however, was clenching his fist spasmodically, and not saying anything. 

"Um," Trouble began, "We have a rescue operation we need to accomplish, and we're having some trouble getting into the house.  So, we were wondering if you-"

"Sure!" Mulch chirped.  Then he stopped.  "Wait.  I almost forgot.  What's in it for me?"  He crossed his arms.  "Why should I risk my new reputation to help you?  Unless, of course, you're planning to give me a couple bars of gold for my trouble."  Clay stopped laughing and started sputtering.  

Root grinned a little.  "Why, I am offering you the chance of a human lifetime.  The chance to legally do what you do best-crime.  You'd be able to break into a Mud dwelling one more time, right in front of me.  And I _won't_ interfere."

A beatific expression crossed Mulch's face.  "I'll do it." he said dreamily.  Then he came back to reality.  "I mean-"

"Too late." Foaly said cheerfully.  "Come on, let's go."  Mulch opened his mouth to protest, saw Holly ominously playing with the buzz baton, nodded sulkily and headed to grab his coat.  

"Uh, convict?" Root interrupted.  

"Yes, Julius?" Mulch said sweetly.  

Root's teeth gritted together.  "Don't you have a bag of not-quite-legal toys you need, like Fowl here?"  Artemis frowned, but held up his hacker bag for inspection.

"Why Commander, I'm a reformed dwarf!  I'm legitimate!  Would _I_ have such tools in my possession?" he asked incredulously.  The entire group stared at him wordlessly, and Clay had a satisfied smirk on his face.  The silence grew long and uncomfortable, and Mulch sighed.

"Okay, it's in my closet.  I'll go get it."  He trudged off into the house.  Clay could not hold himself in any longer.

"Commander, do you realize what you're doing?  Once he's tasted the excitement and danger of breaking the law again, he'll _never_ go back to being legit-…well, almost legitimate!"

Holly frowned as the truth in Clay's words struck her.  She turned to Root.  The Commander grinned suddenly.  It was a grin worthy of Artemis Fowl in cunning.

"I know.  Somehow, he managed to sneak out of 422 years of prison time that he rightfully deserved.  I'm going to see that he gets them, one way or another."

Holly and Trouble tried not to smile at the unholy glee in their commander's eyes, but failed.  Clay was horrified.

"But…but…" he sputtered.  Root patted him on the shoulder.

"Just think of it as a test.  If Mulch is really able to go legitimate, as you claim, then this shouldn't affect him in the slightest.  And if he does revert back to crime…your annoying houseguest will disappear."  

The annoying houseguest in question came bouncing out before Clay could reply.

"I'm ready to go!" he sang.  Clay saw the look of freedom in Mulch's eyes, and realized that the next time he'd see his cousin, Mulch would probably be on the wrong side of a prison visitation booth.

"Have fun." he called dully as the door swung shut behind the group.  He sighed deeply, and headed off to strip Mulch's room.  His cousin wouldn't be needing it anytime soon.  

**********

Defea stared dully at her computer screen.  Every few minutes or so, she'd brighten, type madly for a bit, slow down, read over what she'd just written, and mutter 'That won't work either' under her breath, and delete the section.  Simone awoke with a soft moan that Defea didn't hear.  She watched the centaur with amusement.

"Having problems?" she asked sweetly.  Defea looked up with a scowl.

"Oh, you're awake again.  Go to sleep again." she said, reaching for the button that released the knockout gas.  

"Hey, wait!  You really don't want to do that." Simone said, not showing any desperation.  

"Oh, really?  I think I do." Defea smiled maliciously.  

"I have an idea for how you can get out of this mess, but, of course, if you don't want to hear it…after all, you're the smartest fairy in the land, I'm sure you'll figure something out before the LEP or the LPD or the LSD or whatever get here." 

Defea paused.  "Uh-huh.  So what's this great idea?  I have to admit I'm intrigued.  Unfortunately."

"First," and Simone leaned forward, "You tell me everything about your 'fairy' race.  And how I fit into all this."  

Defea was getting desperate.  She decided to humor the Mud Maid.  "Well, let's see.  'Fairy' is a general term, actually.  There are many different fairies.  I'm a fairy, elves are fairies, goblins are fairies, though they don't really count; they're more like stupid rocks with attitudes than fairies."  Simone nodded.  

"Okay.  That actually makes a little sense.  Well, except for the entire rock thing, but…"

Defea shrugged.  "You have to meet one.  Anyway, most fairies can perform magic.  Centaurs can't.  We just have brains.  And beauty." 

Simone raised an eyebrow.  "Riiight.  So, why am I here with you fairies?" 

"Oh, no." Defea said.  "First, _you_ tell me a little bit more about this plan.  Then I'll talk."  

So Simone told her.  Afterwards, Defea sat back in her chair.  "So…what do you want to know?" 

"Start at the beginning." 

And Defea explained everything.  The smuggling, the Mud Men, Grub's kidnapping, and the infiltration of Fowl Manor.  Simone was especially interested in that.  

"Hardest security system I ever saw…for Mud Men, anyway.  I mean, it was easier to hack into your father's files."  Defea sighed deeply.  "And then I ran into Holly.  And everything went downhill from there." 

"Holly…"

"Captain Holly Short, Lower Elements Police.  I still can't figure out why she was there.  They pulled surveillance on Fowl Manor a while ago." 

Simone sat up straight.  "Oh.  That Holly."  She grinned evilly.  "Well, well, well.  Arty's little girlfriend is a fairy." 

Defea stopped.  "Holly?  Holly hates Artemis.  He practically got her fired over the whole gold thing.  And if anyone ever hears about Spiro…"  

"Huh?"  Simone was now just a _little_ lost.  

"You didn't know?  You accepted all the fairy stuff and the fact I'm a centaur so well, I thought Fowl had told you at least some of his dealings with the People."

"No, Artemis and I didn't talk much at all.  He didn't trust me." Simone said mock plaintively.

"I wonder why." Defea muttered.  The Mud Maid ignored the comment and leaned forward.  

"So…how long has Arty known about you fairies anyway?"  

**********************

AN: And there you go.  Hope you liked it.  

ASN: To all, thank you for the reviews.  The next chapter should be up soon.  

AN: Providing the power doesn't go out for the next week.  

ASN: *Winces* Ugh.  I think I would die.  

AN: Preview, coming up!  Better leave if you are too scared to venture forth!  

**"WHAT!!" Root bellowed.  "You mean to tell me you're planning on sending that convict out into the human world without my supervision?!  Just how did you come up with that?"  **

**"Because from what you've told me, Defea's going to be the more dangerous of the two." Artemis replied.  **

**"Fine." Juliet jumped in while Root looked thoughtful.  "So why are you going there and I'm not?"**

**"Because I'm going with him." Butler stated calmly.  The group turned to Artemis for confirmation.  The pale teen looked uncomfortable.  **

**"Actually…"**

**Butler**** suddenly looked twice as foreboding as usual.  "Actually what, Artemis?"  **


	20. Sulking

AN: Yes, it's the big 2-0!  And in celebration, we made this chapter a little longer than usual!  

ASN: So impressive.  

AN: In other notes, this story is now over 100 pages long!  So, be expecting quite a few more chapters.  

ASN: Since this is only up to page 59, we still have a lot more to post.  

AN: Oh, by the way, we survived!  Aren't you happy?  

**Chapter 20      Sulking**

Grub sat sulking in his closet.  It was taking the LEP a lot longer to come rescue him then he'd thought.  After all, since he was the only one trusted to this secret mission, and the only fairy ever to stand up to a Mud Man, you'd think they'd hurry a little.  

"So, how's it going?" Kegel said without opening the door.  Grub frowned and ignored the voice.  Maybe if he kept quiet long enough, the Mud Man would open the door to check on him, and he could shield and slip out.  

"Your helmet has proven quite interesting so far.  I especially like the different filters.  With some modifications, I could make a killing selling them to arms dealers."  

Grub bit his lip.  Great.  He'd involuntarily given LEP equipment to a psychopathic Mud Man.  Could you be demoted from Corporal?  

"I know you must think I'm a horrible person who'd do anything for money, but…" Kegel started, sitting down on the floor outside the door.  Grub could see the break in the light shining under the door.  "…actually, only the money part's true.  If Defea had just given me the technology without hiking her prices, none of this would have had to have happened." 

"Prices??" Grub echoed in shock.  

"Oh, you _are_ alive in there." 

Grub decided to try one more time.  "Look, Kegel, you said your name was?  If you let me go right now, I can probably convince the LEP to leave you alone."  Which was, of course, not true.  The LEP mindwiped any Mud Person who knew of fairies.  The whole Fowl situation had made that clear.  

"Look, what did you say your name was, fairy?"

"I didn't."  

"Fine.  I want that technology.  And Defea's going to get it to me.  Or I will splash your secrets all over world television.  And believe me, you don't want that to happen."  

Grub sighed.  "Don't say I didn't warn you."  

"Ah, yes, your vicious older brother will come get you, right?" Kegel snorted.  

"That's right." Grub stated in a voice that held no doubt.  Whatever the truth was, this fairy certainly believed in his brother.  

And that belief was starting to worry Kegel.  

"Whatever you say, little man." Kegel said shortly and moved away, leaving Grub in the dark with his thoughts.  

What did the Mud Man mean, 'prices'?  

**********

"All right." Artemis said.  "Juliet, Mulch, and Captain Kelp.  You will be in charge of breaking into Kegel's laboratory.  It is a logical assumption that Grub is there, since Kegel has not returned home for days."

"Excuse me?" Root interrupted, "I didn't hear my name." 

"That's because you're on the other team, Commander." Artemis replied.  As predicted, Root lost his temper.  

"WHAT!!  You mean to tell me you're planning on sending that convict out into the human world without _my_ supervision?!  Just how did you come up with that?"  

"Because from what you've told me, Defea's going to be the more dangerous of the two."

"Fine." Juliet jumped in while Root looked thoughtful.  "So why are you going there and I'm not?"

"Because I'm going with him." Butler stated calmly.  The group turned to Artemis for confirmation.  The pale teen looked uncomfortable.  

"Actually…"

Butler suddenly looked twice as foreboding as usual.  "Actually what, Artemis?"  

"Actually, I'll tell you about your specific assignment after this."  Artemis said smoothly and continued.  "The other team will be composed of Commander Root, Captain Short and myself."  

"And me." Foaly interjected.  

"What do you mean, 'and me?'  You have to stay in the Operations Booth and do your techno-centaur thing." Root said.  "You can't skip out to go bust an old girlfriend."  

"With two simultaneous operations going, there's not much I can do except sit back and tell you what you're doing wrong." Foaly said shortly.  "And as much as I enjoy doing that, I'll be more help assisting with Defea's security defenses."  

"That's what we have Fowl for!" Root answered.  

"With all respect to the Mud Boy, he doesn't know Defea like I do." 

"Foaly," Root said very calmly.  He folded his hands together and set them on the table in front of him silently.  All the fairies, and the Butlers, took a step back.  "YOU ARE TOO EMOTIONALLY INVOLVED WITH DEFEA TO BE OF ANY REAL HELP!!"  

"Wh-what about Trouble?" Foaly responded.  "You're sending him after his own brother.  Isn't that emotionally involved?"  

"Fowl is sending Trouble because Holly and I are needed here.  You, on the other hand, are needed in the Operations Booth." 

"Actually…"

"I really hate that word." Holly muttered.  

"_What_, Fowl?" Root asked in exasperation.  

"If we can synchronize the operations over the comm system, Foaly can come with us.  And if he believes we will need him, it's not really a good idea to leave him behind."  

"Thank you, Fowl, I knew there was a reason I liked you." Foaly muttered.  

"Uh, hello?" Holly said with sarcasm.  "Do you have any recollection of the word _viper_?"  

Foaly looked at her with a completely innocent look on his face.  "No?" 

"Anyway," Artemis continued, "If Foaly is going to be with us, we will need to keep in contact with each other at all times.  That means Juliet and I will need communication equipment also."  

"Should I really trust you with fairy technology, Fowl?" Root asked rhetorically.

"Do you really trust the operation's success without our help?" Artemis countered simply.  Root's face purpled.  

"The last time I checked, _we_ were the police.  We can perform simple rescue operations without your assistance."  

"Yes, but this isn't simple." 

"But how do we know it'll work, if it's not so simple?" Root snapped back.  

"Commander, if you can think up a plan _half_ as good in _twice_ the amount of time, I will be impressed.  Until then, can we please continue with my plan?"  

Root's eyes widened in enraged shock.  "Why you-"

"After what happened with the Cube, I think Fowl will be very respectful of fairy technology." Holly interjected.  "We really can't afford to delay much longer."  

"All right." Root snarled.  "For _now_, Foaly, get the Mud People gear and let's get ready to move out."  

"Gear for three?" Foaly asked. 

"Yes." Butler said firmly.

"No." Artemis said just as firmly.  Foaly hesitated.  

"Butler, can I talk with you for a moment?" Artemis asked softly.  The bodyguard nodded.  

"I think we'd better."

**********

The two moved away where they wouldn't be overheard as the others began to gather their equipment.  

"Artemis…I _am_ going with you." Butler stated immediately.  

"I will perfectly safe with Commander Root and Holly." Artemis said.

"Artemis, Holly has been gunning for you since day one, and Root doesn't like you that much either.  How are you going to be safe without a bodyguard?"

"I was fine when we confronted Spiro."

"_Juliet_ was with you when you confronted Spiro, and I had a hard enough time leaving you then, under her protection.  Now you want me to leave you in the sole care of these fairies, who have already mindwiped us once?"

"I trust them." came the simple answer.  "Don't you?"

"I find it safer not to trust anyone, no." Butler replied immediately.  

"But you trust Holly."

"Yes.  I trust Holly not to let you get hurt; she wouldn't want anyone else having the fun."  

Artemis raised an eyebrow.  "   Butler.  Truthfully."

The bodyguard paused and thought for a moment.  

            "I do trust Holly, yes.  The others I do not.  Especially Root.  He's not as dumb as he acts."

             "It would be hard not to be." Artemis smirked.  

"He wants us mindwiped, Artemis." 

Artemis immediately became serious.  "I know.  I'm working on that."

Butler seemed almost hesitant to continue the conversation.  "I don't usually question you, Artemis, but making him mad at every turn does not seem like a good plan."

"I'm working on that, too." Artemis said dryly.  At Butler's frown, he continued.  "I'll be fine.  I need you at home.  Even if we got Simone out safely, if her father found out where she was or who had her, things could go very badly for all of us.  They wouldn't believe Juliet, but they will you.  Also, if my parents return to find and empty manor, they would be...upset.  I need you there to convince them that everything is all right."   

"So you want me to abuse your parent's trust in me?" Butler asked emotionlessly.

Artemis sighed.  "If you told them the truth, what would they do?  Besides enroll you in my counseling sessions."  

Butler shrugged in response.  "Well, Mr. Badeau would think we're hiding his daughter from him, and quite possibly throw your father in jail."  

"Exactly.  If everything goes well, this shouldn't be a problem.  But you may need to stall."  

"But can you take care of yourself?" Butler asked again, insistently.  Artemis studied Butler.  Even though the fairy treatment had altered Butler so he didn't look older, he could see the years in his eyes.  Years that Artemis had been responsible for putting there.  

"I think it's about time I learned."  

**************************

ASN: And so, Artemis realizes he needs to stop putting so many people in danger.  

AN: *Sniffs* My little Arty is all grown up!  *Ryn beans her over the head with the keyboard*  Sorry. 

ASN: Oh yes, we have an announcement to make.  

AN:      Ahem, ahem.  

@$@$@$@$@$@$@$@$@$@$@$@$@$@$@$@$@$

***********COME ONE, COME ALL!!!!!***********

@$@$@$@$@$@$@$@$@$@$@$@$@$@$@$@$@$

ASN: *Stares* Impressive.  

AN: Thanks.  

ASN: Dumb, but impressive.  

AN: *Evil glare*  Anyway, we have a contest for all you faithful readers.  You now know the story enough to catch the plot *laugh*.  So…

ASN: While we are talented enough to make up this story, we cannot think of a title.  

AN:  So, if you come up with a snappy title, we'll dedicate an entire chapter to you!

ASN: *Raises eyebrow* How rewarding.  

AN: Well, it might be the chapter when Simone is killed-

ASN: HUH?!?  We don't kill her!

AN: _Shhh__!!_  It might be the chapter when Kegel's killed-

ASN: We don't kill him either.  

AN:  _SHHHH!!!_ They aren't supposed to know that.  Anyway, think up a title, and the best one will get recognition, we promise.  Now, for the preview:

**"Have you been teasing Fowl like that all week?"  When Holly smiled, Foaly rolled his eyes.  "Are you trying to make him add homicide to his list of crimes?"  **

**The smile grew.  "Of course not.  I just want to see the great and grand Artemis Fowl Junior snap."  **

**"Make sure he doesn't snap you in half while he does it." he muttered, turning back to his computer tools, but studying Holly out of the corner of his eye.  **

**Holly simply laughed and twirled her Neutrino on her finger.  "I'd like to see him try it.  The Mud Boy doesn't stand a chance against me."  **


	21. Juliet and the Boys

AN: Oops.  Originally, I put this as another chapter 20.  Sorry.  

**Chapter 21    Juliet and the Boys**

Artemis returned to the group without showing one hint of what passed between him and Butler.  The bodyguard was quiet and almost sullen.  

"Commander, Butler needs transportation back to Fowl Manor.  Can you get him there?" 

"Hmm." Root stopped tossing delicate computer equipment into the back of the shuttle and thought.  "Trouble and the others might be able to drop him off on their way.  It shouldn't take too much time off the schedule." 

"Is that acceptable?" Artemis asked.  Butler sighed deeply and nodded.  

"All right, Artemis."  The teen nodded as well and went off to inform Trouble of their detour.  After he disappeared, Butler seized Root's collar and spun the fairy to face him.  

"Ack!" Root gasped as the huge man held him in place about half a foot off the ground and bent down to stare the elf in the eyes.  "Uh, what do you need, Butler?" 

"Against my better judgment, I am placing Artemis in your care.  If he gets hurt, I will insure you are there to explain it to his parents.  _If_ he should get killed," and the bodyguard's voice lowered to a menacing rumble, "I will send you after him to keep him company.  Do we understand one another?"  

Root nodded a little as his face reddened with slight embarrassment.  Butler held his gaze for a moment longer, then placed the commander back on the ground.  "Good."  He turned on his heel and disappeared.  

The commander took a long breath.  Then he began flinging equipment angrily into the shuttle.  

"Hey!!" Foaly gasped as he rounded the corner.  "Be careful!  Some of that breaks really easily, you know."  

"Your budget's big enough; you can afford it." Root grumbled, but he did take a little more care.  

"So," Holly said as she rounded the corner, Artemis following, "How're we doing?"  She slid a new nuclear battery into her Neutrino and smiled as it clicked satisfactorily.  "Arty wants to know if we're ready to go."  Artemis frowned only slightly, but Foaly still noticed.  As Root went to check over the equipment list with Artemis, the centaur turned to Holly.  

"Arty?" he repeated, raising an eyebrow.  "Doesn't his mother call him that?"  

Holly shrugged.  "Well, Simone started to, and I guess I just picked up on it."  

"Have you been teasing him like that all week?"  When Holly smiled, Foaly rolled his eyes.  "Are you trying to make him add homicide to his list of crimes?"  

The smile grew.  "Of course not.  I just want to see the great and grand Artemis Fowl Junior snap."  

"Make sure he doesn't snap you in half while he does it." he muttered, turning back to his computer tools, but studying Holly out of the corner of his eye.  

Holly simply laughed and twirled her Neutrino on her finger.  "I'd like to see him try it.  The Mud Boy doesn't stand a chance against me."  

"Right."  Foaly's tone seemed a little sarcastic, but he didn't say anything else, so she didn't pursue it.  

**********

"Well," Trouble said into the comm system, "We're ready to go, Commander.  We'll drop off Butler and then head to Kegel's lab."  

"All right." Root replied.  "Go ahead, Captain.  Stay in contact, and stay out of trouble!"  

"I don't know about that, sir.  After all, it is my name." the elf replied, flipping off the comm before Root could respond.  

Juliet settled into the seat beside him.  "Trouble's your name?" she asked dubiously.  Trouble nodded.  "Your mom named you Trouble?" 

"Nope.  I picked it out." he answered absently as he maneuvered the shuttle into the chute.  

"Picked it, huh?" Juliet echoed.  After a moment, she tilted her head.  "Have you earned it?" 

Trouble shot her a frosty glance.  "I've been fighting longer than you've been alive.  Of course I've earned it."  

"Mm-hmm."  

Mulch came bounding in.  "Hey, Juliet, come talk to your brother here.  He's mad, and I don't like the looks I've been getting."  

"Righto.  Talk to you later, Kelp."  She gave a wave and waltzed out of the cockpit.  Trouble sighed.  

"I don't know if I'll be able to handle her."  

Mulch clapped a chummy hand onto the elf's shoulder.  "Ah, I handled her just fine.  Trust me, she's not as bad as she seems."  

Trouble shrugged out from under the hand and gave the dwarf a mock glare.  "I _know_ I won't be able to handle you."  Mulch gave a dramatic gasp.  

"Oh, Trouble!  I'm wounded.  After all I've done for you, giving you promotions based on my captures." 

"Want to add another?" Trouble growled, swiping back his wallet.  "Pull that trick again and you'll sleep from here to jail."  

"You'd dare assault a citizen?" 

"Actually," and an evil smile appeared, "Foaly took the liberty of installing some DNA gas on board coded specifically to dwarves.  Just in case we would have some problems."  

Mulch pouted.  "Foaly did that?"

"Actually, I think it was the commander's idea."

"Figures."  

**********

Juliet listened to the conversation half heartedly as she approached Butler.  He was sitting quietly in his seat, not moving.  He seemed to be thinking hard.  In reality, Juliet knew he was brooding.  

"Hey, Dom.  You okay?" she asked, knowing the answer.  Her brother heaved a sigh.  

"No.  I'm concerned about Artemis."  

"You didn't seem too worried when Mister and Mistress Fowl left by themselves.  Why is it any different with Artemis?"  

Butler's eyes narrowed for a second.  "Mister and Mistress Fowl are not officially under my protection.  Artemis, however, has been my charge since the day he was born."  He stopped speaking.  

"But, Dom," Juliet started, sitting beside him, "Has it ever occurred to you that Artemis may want to learn how to take care of himself?"  

"He told me he needed to learn, but he doesn't!  I'm his bodyguard; I'm supposed to take care of him!"  

"But Artemis is older now.  He's learned a lot in the past couple years, and it's possible he's old enough to be on his own.  You don't have to protect him forever, you know." 

Butler gave Juliet a glare that seemed angry, yet wistful at the same time.  "I'm a Butler, Juliet.  If I don't protect my charge for my entire life, I don't deserve the name."  After a moment, he looked away.  "If you don't know that, you shouldn't be in this business."  

"I'm not _in_ this business!" Juliet snapped back.  "I'm just tagging along.  After all, I already tried the bodyguard thing and decided it wasn't for me."  

"I'm sorry." Butler sat back and sighed again.  "I honestly don't know why Artemis left me behind.  Yes, I may need to keep his parents off his trail, but he should be finished with his part before then.  And not only did he leave me behind, he didn't have you come with him!"

"Um," Mulch called from the front, "I hope I'm not interfering, but we're almost there.  Butler, you'd better get what you're gonna take with you."  

"Domovoi." Juliet's voice was sharp, brining him back to the conversation.  She clearly refused to take any more pouting.  "You don't understand Artemis's reasons.  They make sense, but they don't seem to be good enough to keep you away, right?"  At his nod, she continued.  "Then when he gets back, ask him.  Don't sit here and sulk.  Ask him what his true reasons were, and don't give up until you believe there's nothing else he's hiding."  

"You mean I should grill him??"  

"If that's what it takes.  If you really want the answers that badly, then yes, grill him."  She stood and spun on her heel to disappear into the cockpit when she stopped.  Her next words sounded a little sad.  "But be prepared for an answer you don't want to hear."  

With that cryptic comment, she left.  Butler carefully began to gather his things.  An answer he didn't want to hear…

******************

AN: *Reading over chapter* You know, this chapter is actually fairly depressing.  

ASN: Yep.

AN: And sad.

ASN: Yep.

AN: And you're annoying. 

ASN: Y- Hey!!!

AN: Anyway, we've gotten lots of great ideas for the titles so far, ranging from funny to silly to all together whacked out.  

ASN: This isn't necessarily a bad thing.  So keep sending them in!   

AN: And now for the preview.

**Defea pulled Simone in front of the viewscreen and beamed at Kegel.  "Is this a pleasant surprise?" she asked sweetly.  **

**Kegel's jaw landed somewhere around his ankles.  "Ack!!"**

**"I thought so."  The centaur's smile was very smug.  **

AN: And there you have it.  The next chapter should be up soon.  


	22. The Board is Set

**Chapter 22   The Board is Set**__

_Beep!_

Halfway through her frantic rewiring, Defea's comm screen began to beep.  

"D'Arvit!" she hissed, scrambling to get out of her cramped position.  Wires wrapped around her legs; she flailed and fell.  "Gah!"

_Beep!                                               _

A hand helped untangle the mess she had created, and guided Defea out of her tiny hole.  Simone's voice was laden with not-so-hidden mirth.  "A centaur trying to squeeze into a hole too small for a five year old?  Very amusing." 

_Beep!_

"Ahh, shut up and pretend you've been drugged.  I think that's Kegel."  Defea paused as she reached for the screen.  "You can act, right?"

"Is the Pope Catholic?" Simone asked sarcastically.  

"No idea.  Now, get on that couch and out of sight until I'm ready for you!"  

_Beep!_

Defea slapped the on button.  "Who is it?" she growled, then brightened.  "Oh, Kegel _dahhling__._"

The Mud Man frowned.  Defea seemed to be her usual stuck up self.  Not a good sign.  

"Defea.  You only have two days left, and I haven't seen any technology.  Are you going to fix that, or do I need to take Grub to a doctor and have his health checked?"  

"Well, I _was_ busy, but _someone_ interrupted me for a stupid call."  She bared her teeth at Kegel for a second, then continued.  "And to answer your question, I do have something you might want to see."  She disappeared off the screen and seized Simone's arm.  "Come on."

"Urg." Simone groaned, stumbling slightly.  Her eyes were half open, unfocused, and her hair mussed.  After gazing blearily at Defea for a second, she straightened up and grinned.  "Is that acceptable?"

"Fine; come on!"

Defea pulled Simone in front of the screen.  "Is this a pleasant surprise?" she asked sweetly.  

Kegel's jaw landed somewhere around his ankles.  "Ack!!"

"I thought so."  The centaur's smile was very smug.  

"Y-you…" Kegel's throat worked furiously.  "You can't have her!  Her father just left to go visit her at that Fowl Manor place!!  If she's not there, Mr. Badeau is liable to put all of Ireland in prison!"  

"More room for me." Defea quipped.  "Shame.  I really get along with her very well.  Especially when she's drugged." 

"What do you have her for, Defea?!  She has nothing to do with this!" Kegel shouted.  His face was the same shade red that Foaly's commander always wore.  

"Odd, that's what I said about Grub." Defea muttered.  "Anyway, I just want a little trade.  Nothing more."  Defea pushed Simone in the direction of the couch and away from the screen.  Once out of sight, Simone opened her eyes and wandered over to where Defea had been working, absentmindedly combing her hair with her fingers.    

"A trade?"

"Yes, a trade.  Grub for your boss's daughter.  Can you do it?"  

"I should have known you'd pull something like this." Kegel snapped.  "All right, a trade.  Unfortunately, I can't get to our regular meeting place until tomorrow.  It _is_ late here, you know."  

"As long as you keep Grub a complete secret between now and then.  If I hear anything about fairies, I'll kill the girl."  Defea suddenly pulled a large, double barreled gun from under the table.  Kegel gulped audibly.  

"Right.  I won't say a word.  Don't kill her."  

"All right, then.  Tomorrow night, midnight."  

"_Midnight__?!_"

"See you at the regular place.  Bye!"  Defea switched off the screen and smirked.  Before Kegel could think of calling back, she unplugged the screen.  

"Are you really going to trade me?" Simone called from the tiny cubby.  "Because if you are, I'm quitting this right now."

"No, no trade.  The LEP will be here before then." Defea explained.  "You see, I have an 'electronic eye' on Foaly.  He recently left the Operations Booth, and hasn't returned.  That was more than an hour ago.  Since the paranoid idiot never leaves that booth except for missions, he must be coming with the LEP here.  So, we have a few hours at most to get ready."  

"Oh joy." 

Defea regarded the lanky girl curled up in the tiny crack and laughed.  "A 14 year old in a hole too small for a sprite?  _Very_ amusing."  

"Oh, shut up and hand me that welder."  

**********

 Artemis sat in the back of an LEP shuttle, frowning.  Root and Holly were up in the cockpit, talking to the other team over the comm.  He turned to Foaly, who was leaning back in his seat, tinfoil hat tilted over his eyes.

"Foaly?" he asked, trying to get the dozing fairy's attention.

"What?" came the grumpy reply of a centaur who had not slept in 28 hours.

  Artemis ignored the tone.  "You know this Defea better than all of us.  What exactly is she capable of?"

Foaly sat up quickly.  "What exactly do you mean?" he asked dramatically.  "Capable of killing Simone if she's cornered?  Capable of blowing us all up as we try to rescue the Mud Maid?"

"Actually, I was going to ask if she's capable of detecting us as we land an LEP shuttle in her backyard and lug twenty pounds of computer equipment to her front door, but any of your questions work just as well."

"Oh." Foaly said, wind taken out of his sails.  "Well, yes."

"To which question?" Artemis asked patiently.

"All three."  Foaly paused thoughtfully.  "No, I don't think she'd kill the girl.  She is certainly fussy about messes in her house."

Root slid out of the cockpit and stomped back to the passenger area.  "Do you mean to tell me that we are basing our plan of attack on your belief that Defea won't kill the Mud Girl _because it would make a mess_?!"

Foaly nodded, unperturbed by Root's ranting.  "You know how women are, Commander.  Even the smart ones really don't go for chaos and mayhem, much less blood."

"Funny." Artemis said dryly.  "Captain Short doesn't seem to have a problem with mayhem."

"I heard that, Mud Boy!" came a low growl from the cockpit.  "Now, if you _boys_ are done with your psychoanalysis, will someone please explain to me exactly what the plan is?  How close should I get to her house?"

Artemis walked up to the cockpit and slid smoothly into the copilot's chair.  Root and Foaly followed, stopping at the door to the cockpit.  Foaly couldn't fit in it anyway, and the human was in Root's seat.  His annoyed mutterings were ignored by the rest of the group as Holly clicked on the comm panel so the other team could hear.

Trouble waved.  "While we're talking about the plan, tell me:  What kind of human security measures should we expect?"

Juliet rolled her eyes.  "Uh, hello?  We're talking about INTERPOL here." 

Mulch rolled his eyes in return.  "Uh, hello?  We're talking about human vs. fairy here.  The Mud People haven't invented a security system I can't crack."

Artemis stopped Root's angry bellow with an upraised hand.  "You can probably expect acoustic and infrared sensors, access-control points, dead-end corridors, flashing strobe lights, fog generators, noise generators, sirens, as well as steel-plate, concrete-filled, steel-reinforced cinder block walls.  And, naturally, bullet-proof windows."

There was dead silence in both shuttles.  After a moment, Holly rubbed the bridge of her nose.  "Do we even _want_ to know how he knows this?"

Mulch coughed.  "You know, I've just seen the silver lining to being a legitimate, hard-working dwarf.  Ta-ta."  Before he could take a step, Juliet seized the back of his shirt.  

"Nice try, but you're not going anywhere.  Now." she grinned. 

Trouble motioned to one of the windows, showing the fiery walls of Chute F5.  "Oh, if he really wants to get off, let him."  

Mulch shrugged free of the girl's grasp and sulked in a corner of the cockpit.

Trouble grinned at the dwarf's predicament, but sobered quickly.  "So how do we get in?" he asked.  

Artemis glanced over at Mulch.  "I thought we'd let the Mud People security expert take care of the situation."  Mulch looked up and glared at the teen.

"If you're joking, that's cruel.  If you're being sarcastic, then that's even worse."   

"I hate to interrupt," Holly snapped, "But we're almost to Defea's house, and I bet Trouble's getting close to the surface."

Artemis nodded.  "All right.  Here's how it's going to work."

**********************

AN: All right, everyone, we'd like to thank you all for your wonderful ideas for titles.  

ASN: However, we're planning to wrap up this contest, so if you have any bright ideas, tell us ASAP!

AN: Now, if not sooner.  

ASN: *Rolls eyes* Right.  And now for the preview.  

**"All right, you two, stop _fighting_ and help me get this set up.  Defea is sure to have some sort of complicated computer code lock, so we have to be able to break it."**

**Root dropped his piece of gear and frowned.  Foaly winced.  "Are you sure?" the elf asked.  "You'd think some high tech lock would be covered in wired and flashing lights, not-" he glanced at the door, "red and pea green checkers."**

AN: And there you have it. Enjoy this segment, and we'll see you later.  

ASN: We'd crack a couple jokes, but we're too tired.  


	23. Breaking

AN: Little note- you will begin to see lines that look like this : ************

ASN: That's because we needed a way to signify moving from Trouble and his team to Foaly and his group.  SO, when you see that, prepare for a jump in plot.  

AN: We really should have put in the place names like we did in The Centaur Ordeal, but we didn't.  Bad authors.  No biscuit.  

**Chapter 23   Breaking…**

Grub nibbled on his thumbnail in the dark of his closet.  He'd heard Kegel talking to Defea.  He couldn't hear quite what was said, but Kegel had paced around the lab muttering to himself a lot after the call ended.  Grub smirked.  The Mud Man was worried.  Maybe the LEP was finally on its way then.  Well, there had to be something he could do to help them...

"Hey Mud Man!" he yelled suddenly, banging on the door.  Kegel's footsteps echoed across the wooden floor.

"You'd better shut up, little one." the human hissed.  "This lab is relatively well soundproofed, but screaming may attract some prying visitors.  I'd hate for you to be discovered now."

"What's so different about now?" Grub asked curiously.  "Before you said you were going to spill our secrets to the world."  It was a few moments before the human spoke again, and when he did, it was in a slightly strangled voice.

"Did you have something to ask me, little man, or are you just being obnoxious?"

"Welllllllll," Grub drawled, "When my brother gets here, he's gonna be mad about how you treated me."

"Obnoxious, I see." Kegel said snidely.  Grub cringed at the tone, but ignored him.

"A smart Mu...human like you should have known better than to mess with us.  My brother's going to wipe the floor with you."  taunted Grub weakly.

"Different species, same stupid cliches.  I wish you'd stop talking about being rescued." Kegel sighed.  "No one can get past security.  We're in the middle of an Interpol research complex."

"The LEP never leaves a man behind!" Grub declared dramatically.  "You'll regret this hideous, most unthinkable..." Grub searched for an appropriately horrifying word, but couldn't think of one.  "...thing." he finished lamely.

"Not the mindless threats again." moaned the nerd, starting to move away from the door.  Grub started to panic.

"Wait!  Maybe we can work something out.  After all, we try not to harm the Mud People as much as possible.  I mean, if you hold me much longer, my brother's gonna bring an entire squad to get me, and you _really_ don't want that to happen."

Grub was rewarded by the sound of Kegel walking right up to the door, and bending down so the elf could hear his whisper quite clearly.

"Look, little man, your brother can bring all the help he wants; he's not getting past my security.  So shut up before I do something I'll regret later."

Grub squeaked as Kegel stomped away.  The nerd could be quite scary when he wanted to be.  Grub obligingly shut up, since his objective was complete anyway.  Not only had Kegel just invited his brother in, he could bring all the help he wanted.  Grub grinned in the black safety of his closet.  Mommy would be _so_ impressed.

**********

Juliet crouched outside of the Interpol complex fence, peering nervously at the guards patrolling inside.  

"Volunteering for this was not one of my brighter ideas." she muttered.  Trouble crouched next to her behind the sheet of camfoil.  

"As long as Mulch doesn't get caught, and as long as he tunnels into the right office, we'll be fine."

Juliet looked at the very conspicuous hole in the ground behind them, and then turned back to Trouble.  "You know, you're not very reassuring."  

"You know, a little faith wouldn't kill either of you." came an annoyed voice from behind them.  The two spun to see Mulch crawling from the hole.

"Did you get through to Kegel's office?" Trouble asked.  Mulch shook earth from his clothes and stood up.  

"Yeah.  Artemis's floor plans worked perfectly.  Sort of."

Trouble's eyes narrowed.  "What do you mean, 'sort of?'"

***********

After thinking through all possible ways of infiltrating the perimeter of Defea's house covertly, Foaly came to the conclusion it was hopeless and had Holly land the shuttle near the front door.  

Artemis gazed up at the large house emotionlessly.  It was on the outskirts of Haven, away from anyone who may come sneaking by.  The oddest thing about it was the fact it was pressed very close to the rocky ceiling of the underground city.  

And of course, the orange shutters against the lime green siding looked pretty weird too. 

"Why is Defea's house so close to the surface?" Artemis asked Holly quietly.  

"No idea.  Defea inherited it from her uncle, and added parts on about 10 years ago, but the house itself has been here for as long as I can remember." Holly whispered back, depositing a load of Foaly's computer equipment on the porch.  

"I see.  Quite a long time, then." he replied, amusement tingeing his voice.  Holly gave him an evil glare and smacked his arm as she passed him.  Foaly rolled his eyes.  

"Okay you two, stop flirt-"  

Holly shot the centaur a venomous look that should have melted the door off its hinges.  Root, who was coming back with another load, caught her glaring and stopped.  

"Captain?  Did I miss something?" the commander asked.

"No." both Holly and Artemis said at the same time.  Then they glared at each other.  Foaly had by then moved to the door and bent down to open his laptop.  

"All right, you two, stop _fighting_ and help me get this set up.  Defea is sure to have some sort of complicated computer code lock, so we have to be able to break it."  

Root dropped his piece of gear and frowned.  Foaly winced.  "Are you sure?" the elf asked.  "You'd think some high tech lock would be covered in wired and flashing lights, not-" he glanced at the door, "red and pea green checks."  

"What?"  Foaly abandoned his computer to go look at the door.  After a moment, he reared back.  "It's-it's…"  He looked totally shocked.  "It's a dead bolt lock!"  

"A dead bolt." Root repeated, a purple tinge beginning to bleed into the usual red.  "We carried all this, all this way, to open an extremely complicated _dead bolt lock_?!"

Foaly grinned sheepishly.  "We might be able to use it later."  Holly shook her head.  

"Sorry, but once we're in, we need to keep moving.  We don't have time to stop and lug computer junk."

"It's not junk." Foaly muttered, turning back to the dead bolt.  He studied it for few more seconds, then held out a hand.  "Magnetic cutter." he commanded.  

The other three just looked at him.

The centaur huffed angrily.  "I'll get it."  He trotted over to the stack of gear and removed something that looked like a tiny screwdriver that had been bent at a 90 degree angle.  At Root's confused look, he grinned.  "This, Julius, is a magnetic cutter; it's a new invention of mine.  It uses the friction of two opposite magnetic forces pushing against each other to cut through metal quickly and soundlessly, as if slicing through butter.  It's tiny enough that I can fit it in between the doorjamb and the door.  _And_, it'll catch the piece of metal cut with a strong magnet before it can hit the ground and make noise."  

"Uh-huh." Root said.  "So, it can open this lock and not alert Defea while doing it?"  

"Of course, landing a shuttle in her front yard probably tipped her off…but unless she has it booby trapped, then I would say, yes."  

"So…DO IT!!"  

Foaly cringed and slid the cutter into the minuscule crack.  After a few seconds of extreme tension, he smirked.  "Success."  

Just as a precaution, he slid the cutter down a little farther, then stopped.  "There's another one here."  After cutting, he slid it down more.  "And another."  A pause.  "And another."  He ran it to the very end of the door and frowned.  "She got even more paranoid after we broke up, didn't she?"  After cutting through the last, he smiled.  "All right.  Shall we go?"  

The group brought their guns up, tensing a little.  Artemis had palmed one of the lasers when they were arguing over the pros and cons of arming him, and when they discovered he had one, they let him keep it.  Root and Holly had their wings on, silently hovering over Foaly's head.  Root glanced around to check that they were all ready and then slammed his shoulder into the door, opting for a dramatic entrance.  

It didn't move, but Root did.  

He bounced backward and almost fell down the steps.  The elf took a deep breath to calm himself, but was unable to stop his face from reddening.  

"I've never seen that color before." Artemis whispered to Holly.  She groaned softly.  

"We see it all too often."  

"FOALY…"

"I got all the locks, honest!" the centaur protested.  Artemis decided to state the obvious.  

"Did you check over your head at the top of the door?"  His impeccable logic earned him three glares.  

"Okay, Mud Boy, you do it." Foaly snapped, tossing him the cutter.  Artemis caught it smoothly and headed to the door.  It was built to centaur specifications, which meant it was slightly shorter than a normal human door, although it was a little bit wider.  

After cutting through the last of the three top bolts, the door opened slightly.  Artemis handed the cutter back to Foaly and made a slight gesture.  "After you."  

"You're expendable, Mud Boy." Root growled.  "You first."   Artemis shrugged calmly and stepped toward the door.  

"Uh, Commander, are you sure that's wise?" Holly asked.  Root grinned maniacally.  

"If he should happen to get hurt, this would rapidly become the best day of my life." 

"Until Butler found out." Foaly said dryly.  

The smile disappeared  from Root's face faster than Mulch with a bar of gold.  "Hey, Fowl!  Wait a second!"  

Artemis stopped a foot from the door and turned, an amused smile on his face.  "Something wrong, Commander?"  

"I was joking.  Let the professionals handle this."  Artemis stepped back, though the smile on his face widened.  

"As you wish.  Though I'm certain I have a bit more experience in house breaking than you do."  

"Fowl…"  Root's hands clenched convulsively as he imagined wringing the human's neck.  "Just.  Move."

Artemis complied with Root's order to move and the fairies swept into the house.

***********

AN: Now, I'm certain all of you are eager to hear you won the title contest.  

ASN: Well, we've thought and thought and thought, and we've decided…

AN: That we can't decide.  

ASN: *Shrugs sheepishly* So, you have an extension.  If you have any ideas, send 'em in.  

AN: And we will try really really hard to come up with the winner soon.  We promise.  

ASN: And you know how much you can trust our promises.  

AN: *Frowns* I sense great sarcasm… anyway, preview time!!

**"The lock has a password of 10 random numbers." Artemis explained softly, fingers flying.  "The computer is trying out all the possible combinations of 10 numbers, trying to ascertain which number goes where."  **

**"And how long is that going to take?" Holly asked, carefully watching the end of the hall.**

**With an electronic chime, the lock clicked open.**

**"Not long." Artemis said, snapping his laptop shut.  **


	24. And Entering

**Chapter 24   …And Entering**

Trouble and Juliet followed Mulch through the dwarf's tunnel, being very careful to breathe through their mouths and watch where they set their hands.  Not soon enough for Juliet (who didn't have a helmet with filtered air to breathe), they came up to the end and popped out into a closet.  

A closet full of reams of paper, old, outdated keyboards, various wires and plugs, and of course, enough CD-Rs to back up the Library of Congress.  

Juliet swung out of the tunnel and straightened.  "My legs are so cramped."  Trouble began to follow the girl out of the hole when he stopped.  

"D'Arvit." he whispered, a look of helpless horror crossing his face.  He hunkered back into the tunnel.  Mulch frowned at his apparent reluctance to enter, then nodded knowingly.  

"Ahh!  You need an invite, don't you?"  Trouble nodded back dully.  "A shame, really.  Even with your magic, you won't be much help if you're not in the building."  The elf fired Mulch a dirty look.  

"But, wouldn't the foundation be part of a human dwelling?" Juliet asked.  "It is, technically."  

"Well, maybe, but…"   Trouble didn't seem too eager to step into the closet.  Juliet sighed.  

"We'll just try it, okay?" she asked.  "If you haven't had any problems yet, I really think you've probably already been invited in."  After a moment, Trouble nodded firmly and crawled out.  Juliet and Mulch waited anxiously for any sign of discomfort.  They both sighed with relief when Trouble looked up with a feral smile on his face.  

"Shall we go?" 

Mulch laughed quietly and a little nervously.  "Yes.  Let's go and rescue your dear brother, so we can get out of here."  The dwarf stepped forward and pulled on the door handle.  

It was locked.  

"Argh!"  Mulch tugged harder, but it still wouldn't open.  Juliet frowned.  

"What sort of paranoid idiot would lock a supplies closet?" she muttered.  "Don't pull so hard, you'll lose your-" 

Mulch gave a quiet yelp as he yanked too hard and fell backwards.  He stabilized himself before landing on the CD-R pile by grabbing onto a homemade overhead shelf.  

"-grip." Juliet finished.  She shook her head sadly.  "That was close, dwarf.  Another stunt like that and we're liable to get caught."

"Hey, I saved myself with this shelf, didn't I?"  Mulch was indignant.  "I made no noise whatsoever!"  In the dwarf's fury, he pressed a little too hard on the shelf.  

Now, Kegel was many things, but a carpenter _wasn't_ one of them.  

The rickety shelf collapsed, sending computer parts raining upon Mulch.  He yelped again as he was buried under the equipment.  One keyboard clipped the unsteady CD-R stack and sent 116 disks scattering all over the floor.  

"Urg." Mulch whimpered from underneath his electronic encasement.  Trouble gave the pile a disgusted glare.  

"How did you give Commander Root so much trouble when you're this clumsy?" he snapped.  

"Out of practice." was the snide reply.  

Trouble started to continue berating Mulch, but stopped as he heard footsteps.  "D'Arvit.  Kegel's coming!" he hissed, immediately shielding.  "Juliet, remember, you're alone." 

"Yeah.  I'm not here." Mulch said, struggling out from his mess and diving behind another pile of disks. Leaving Juliet with no place to hide.

"Thanks, boys." she snarled, standing up in the narrow confines of the closet.  As the doorknob started to turn, she threw all of her weight against the door.  The door swung open, and the person behind it gave a muffled oof as the door crashed into his chest.  Juliet pivoted out of the closet and into the open space of the lab.

A boring little man with a wrinkled lab coat stared at Juliet, the only one he could see.  His eyes, already overlarge behind his glasses, bugged out even more.  

"How did you get in my closet?" he asked dumbly.  

"Magic." Juliet replied, and kicked him in the teeth.  

***********

  Defea's door opened onto a large spacious entry hall.  A deserted hall with the empty feeling of disuse.  The team moved cautiously into a colorful dining room.  All of the colors seemed overly bright and clashed with each other, creating a riot of style and hue that left the viewer with a headache after thirty seconds.

"I told her she needed to redecorate." Foaly muttered.  The other three ignored him.  

Hanging down from the ceiling were colorful shards of glass, twinkling cheerfully and very distractingly.  Root buzzed through the hangings, growling as he swerved to avoid them.  

"What are these for?" Holly asked, touching one as she flew past, going a little slower than the commander.  Root shrugged, and the movement caused him to clip one of the shards.  Suddenly the wing sparked and started to smoke.  That side then shut off completely, sending Root into a spiral.  

"Gack!"  A little fancy footwork saved him from landing on his face, but the elf hit the ground hard.  He wrenched his wings off, cursing loudly.  

Holly immediately touched down beside him, pulling her wings off with a sigh of disgust.  "Sir, with those hangings, we can't fly.  They seem to be made specifically to disrupt the delicate technology in the systems."

"I noticed." Root snapped as he held up the fried part.  

Foaly clapped both hands to his face, mouth dropping in horror.  "Ahh!!  My wings!"  

The centaur went to frantically rip the equipment out of Root's hand when a voice stopped him.  "Oh, it's about time you got here.  I didn't think you were going to show."  

Commander Root's head swiveled as he tried to pinpoint the location of the voice.  "Defea, give it up and release the girl.  You've got nowhere to go." he spoke loudly.  And dramatically.  Artemis sighed.  

"Actually Commander, I don't want to go anywhere.  Not when you're guests in my house.  That would be rude.  I have to make you feel welcome."  With that, the voice fell silent.

"You know, that sounded ominous to me, sir." Holly said, keeping her head moving, watching for danger.

"Yes.  It did.  Foaly?" Root asked, turning to the centaur.  Whatever the centaur would have said was lost as three small black balls came rolling around from the next room.  

"D'Arvit!" Holly snarled, reaching for her helmet release.  Root saw her.

"What are you doing?!"

Then the balls exploded.  They each released different blasts of light: infrared, UV, and visible.  And they all screamed with static and white noise.

Root couldn't rip his helmet off fast enough, but was still blinded by the bright flash of visible light.  As well as deafened by the noise.  

As the balls burned out, the team slowly came back to normal.  Holly rubbed her ears, blue sparks flickering, and Foaly immediately started to inspect the shattered technological remains.  Artemis peered over his shoulder, and Root started bellowing. 

"WHAT WERE THOSE?!?!"

Holly dropped her fried helmet on the floor, next to Root's fried wings.  "They are specifically designed to disrupt-"

"Destroy." Foaly whimpered.

"-LEP equipment.  That's how Defea got past me at Fowl Manor."  Holly finished.  

"Okay." Root said, calming a little.  "Then what do we do when the next ones come?" 

"Well, we're rapidly running out of LEP technology, so it shouldn't be much of a problem." Artemis muttered, gingerly examining Holly's smoking helmet.  

"Foaly?" Root prompted.  "You've been in this house before; where do we need to go?"  

"Defea's lab is in the back portion of the house.  The house is fitted into that horizontal crevice in the rocks, so it's built like an old fashioned human dugout.  The back is the most secure spot."  Foaly studied the path in front of him, then pointed.  "It's that way." 

The team moved into the hall, keeping an eye out for balls and other booby traps.  Two rooms on opposite sides of the hall sported large computer locks.  

"Now, would Defea keep Simone with her, or would she be in one of these rooms?" Holly asked, wandering over to look at one of the locks.  

"Depends." Foaly said.  "If Simone is as annoying as Artemis claims, she might really be tied up alone in one of these rooms so Defea wouldn't have to listen to her."  

"Can we just blast the door open?" Holly asked. 

Artemis moved to where Holly was and also studied the lock.  "These locks cannot be physically broken, or they'll seal the doors shut.  This requires something subtle."

"Fine." Root said.  "You get that door.  Foaly, you do this one.  Captain, cover the Mud Boy."  

Holly nodded and Artemis connected his laptop to the lock.  He began typing furiously, and Holly couldn't help but watch as blinking numbers filled the screen.  As she watched, some of the numbers stopped blinking.

"The lock has a password of 10 random numbers." Artemis explained softly, fingers flying.  "The computer is trying out all the possible combinations of 10 numbers, trying to ascertain which number goes where."  

"And how long is that going to take?" Holly asked, carefully watching the end of the hall.

With an electronic chime, the lock clicked open.

"Not long." Artemis said, snapping his laptop shut.  On the other side of the hall, Foaly had managed to get that door open as well.  Root nodded to Holly, and she moved to cover him as he kicked open the right-hand door.  

It revealed a small sitting area, with couches especially designed for centaur proportions.  It was quite empty. 

And then a small bull troll appeared out of nowhere, screaming in rage.

***********

AN: Still no title yet.  Sorry.  

ASN: Thanks for all the reviews though.  And this chapter is on time, and slightly longer.  

AN: Be glad.  Preview!!!

**"Simone!" Holly said, stepping onto the dark floor.  Sparks flew, and Holly jumped back into the hall.**

**"It's electrified.  The floor is electrified." she snarled.  "What kind of paranoid idiot electrifies the floor in their office?!" **

**The other three were silent, and Holly realized what she had just said.  "No offense."**


	25. Mesmer, Martial Arts, and Maneuvers

AN: AHHH!! I am so so so so sorry! I didn't mean to get this far behind in posting *sniffles* I am such an airhead!!!! 

ASN: Finally, the truth comes out. 

AN: *Glares at sister* Anyway, to make up for it, this chapter is nine pages long instead of three. 

ASN: *Skims to end of chapter* Um, Lessa dear, our dear readers are going to roast you on a spit when they read this chapter. 

AN: So it ends a little abruptly... it leads to interesting reviews. 

**Chapter 25: Mesmer, Martial Arts, and Maneuvers**

Kegel stumbled backwards against a table, his mind spinning.  After all of Defea's pleas of secrecy and keeping the matter from her superiors, he had not anticipated an attempt to rescue the hostage.  Dodging around the edge of a table, he ducked another blow from the blonde girl. 

He hadn't expected human backup either.  At least with humans he had an edge.  If he could stay alive long enough to use it.  Kegel ran around a long counter covered in notes.  The girl did not chase him.  She vaulted over the counter and landed right in front of him.

"What do you want?" he gasped.  The girl gave him an evil smile, the fluorescent light of the lab dancing off glitter eye shadow.  She grabbed the lapels of Kegel's wrinkled lab coat to keep him from sliding away. 

"Hi.  We're exterminators, here to relieve you of a certain 'Grub.'  Where is he?" 

"I don't know what you're talking about." Kegel stammered, trying to wrench free of the girl's surprisingly strong hold.

The girl shook her head sadly.  "That was not a good move, doc."  Kegel gasped as suddenly his world turned upside down and he landed with a soft smack on the tile floor of the lab.  As disorientation washed over his brain, some disconnected part of his mind informed him that the move the girl had used was a wrestling slam made famous by the short-lived Jade Princess.  Kegel didn't really care.

Trouble and Mulch watched from the still-open door of the closet.

"Isn't she something?" Mulch asked in awe.  Trouble could only nod as the girl hauled the downed man back up on his feet.  She didn't need their help after all. If he only had a few like her on his Retrieval team...

"Now, let's try that again.  Where is he?" Juliet asked sweetly.

"You do not want Grub."  Kegel's voice suddenly rang with power, unmistakable authority…and the distinct bass tones of the _mesmer_.  Trouble gasped.  If this Mud Man  could _mesmer_ize, things would turn very bad here shortly.  Mulch, who had almost gotten out of his computer cave, cringed at the voice and stayed right where he was: out of sight.  

"What?" Juliet said, frowning.  She took an unconscious step toward him.  

"You do not want Grub.  He is not here.  You know nothing of this Grub, and nothing of me."  Kegel sounded much more confident now.  But Juliet did not.  

Kegel couldn't keep from grinning.  The vicious girl was under his control for now.  "Now listen closely," he began.  "Go back and tell your superiors that there was nothing here, even though you searched.  There was nothing out of the ordinary, and there certainly was no fairy in the closet."

"Didn't your mother ever teach you not to lie to a lady?" asked a dry voice behind Kegel.  The nerd whirled to find himself face to face with another fairy, dressed exactly as his hostage was.  Except that this one was carrying lots more weaponry, and looked a whole lot tougher.

"Who are you?" Kegel blustered.

The fairy grinned, showing teeth. "My name's Trouble."  He leisurely pulled a tri-barreled blaster from his belt.  "And you have my brother."

"Oh, you're Trouble." Kegel squeaked, cautiously stepping away from the dark holes of the barrels.  "I've heard so much about you."

He took another step back, and came against an unyielding object.  He turned to see the blonde, who looked rather peeved.  Kegel swallowed nervously, stuck between a rock and a really big gun.

It's pretty strange to see a human with the ability to _mesmer_." the hovering fairy offered, "But with humans, as soon as eye contact is broken, the control disappears."  Kegel nodded, and lunged sideways towards his desk, smacking the alarm button before either the fairy or the girl could stop him.

***********

"No way." Holly gasped as she brought her Neutrino up to bear down on the troll.  It roared and lunged for the fairies.  Root fired, the laser aimed straight at its head.  The shot seemed to go right through the troll, who simply roared again.  

"What the-" Root fired again, and again the laser didn't do anything.  Foaly's eyes brightened suddenly. 

"Ahh!!" he exclaimed.  With that, he trotted right up to the troll.  Root's expression became one of confusion and rage.  

"Foaly, what are you doing?!  You'll get killed!"  The troll roared right in the centaur face.  He didn't blink.  

"Calm down, Julius; it's a hologram."  The centaur waved his hand, and his fingers went right through the troll's head.  Then he sighed theatrically.

"Defea, is that the best you can do?  A hologram?" he shouted into the air.

"Hey, that's not just _any_ hologram.  You wanna know how many days I had to spend at the zoo to get it that realistic?" her voice echoed.

Root rolled his eyes.  "Stop arguing, you stupid centaur, and let's check out the other room."  Holly was already there, kicking the door open.  

It revealed a dark, unlit library and office, with a large desk.  It was _not_ empty.

There was a trussed up figure sitting in the desk chair.

"Simone!" Holly said, stepping onto the dark floor.  Sparks flew, and Holly jumped back into the hall.

"It's electrified.  The floor is electrified." she snarled.  "What kind of paranoid idiot electrifies the floor in their office?!" 

The other three were silent, and Holly realized what she had just said.  "No offense."

"Okay, we have to get you over there, Captain.  You're the smallest and the lightest." Root said firmly.

"So?"

"So," Artemis said, "You would be the easiest to throw over the floor onto the desk."

Holly sighed.  "The Commander isn't strong enough to throw me, and Foaly's the wrong height."  

"Hey!" the two fairies chimed together.

"That's true." Artemis agreed.  "But if the Commander and I throw you together, I think we can do it."

Holly stared at the teen.  "You expect _me_ to let _you_ throw me over an electrified floor?"

"What, Holly?" Artemis asked with a crooked smile.  "Don't you trust me?" 

Holly continued to stare.  "I trust you about as far as…" She trailed off.

"As I can throw you?" Artemis deadpanned.

"Oh, shut up and get ready." she snarled.  

Root and Artemis linked their hands together for Holly to step into.  She gingerly hopped on, braced herself on Root's shoulder, and put her other hand on Artemis a little harder than necessary.

"On the count of three." Root commanded.  "One, two…"

"I can't believe I'm doing this." Holly muttered.

"Three!"  

Holly found herself flying across the office.  She landed with a thump on the highly polished desk and skidded into the desk chair.

The figure in the desk chair tumbled out and hit the floor in three pieces.

"Holly!" Foaly croaked.  

She glared down at the crackling bits of fabric.  "It was a dummy."

"Oh.  She must be in another one of the rooms." Root said placidly.  

"That's nice.  I'm glad for her.  And did any of you geniuses have a plan on getting me _out_ of the room?" she asked sarcastically.

Root looked at Foaly.  The centaur shrugged.  "I think we should let the certified genius here solve it."  

Artemis stared blankly at the two fairies.  "I may be a certified genius, but you are the technological expert.  You should handle it."

"Oh, on the contrary-" Foaly started.

"Oh, it's your job." Artemis interrupted smoothly.  "I wouldn't want to interfere.  After all, you don't get out often."

Exercising great control, Holly managed not to scream.  "I'll do it." she growled.

With a flick of her wrist, she pulled a fizzer from her belt and pried it open.  As it exploded, she tossed it onto the floor.  The floor hissed and smoked.

"Oh." Foaly said a little dumbly.  "That works." 

Holly stomped across the floor and breezed down the hall.  "Men." she spat.  

The next door they came to had no lock whatsoever.  The group stared at it for a few minutes.  

"The obvious question is whether Defea would put anything in a room that isn't locked.  Is she counting on us to leave it unchecked?"  

"Oh, try it." Defea's voice said maliciously.  "I dare you."  

"That's _real_ ominous." Holly whispered to Foaly.  He nodded.  Root exhaled in frustration. 

"We've already had LEP equipment destroyed, been blinded, deafened, and one of my best officers was nearly fried.  What else-"

Foaly paled.  "Don't say it!"

"-could possible go _wrong_?!" Root bellowed as he ripped open the door.  

There was a slight crackling sound, and every single light in the house went off.  Including the monitors on the laptops they were carrying.

"You said it." Foaly grumped.   They heard Artemis's voice speak up out of the darkness.  He did not sound very pleased.  

"I believe that was an electromagnetic pulse.  It disables every unshielded electronic circuit within a given radius."  

"Good one, Julius." Foaly commented as he tried to get his computer to work, and having no luck whatsoever.  

"Shut up." 

Holly pulled out her flashlight.  "Foaly, I thought you said Defea didn't like messes."

"She's getting desperate." he said as he produced his own flashlight.  

"Good for her." Root snapped.  "What does that mean?"  

"That means we'd better be _really_ careful." 

 "Well," Holly sighed, swinging her flashlight around, "This room's empty.  The only way left to go is down that hallway."

Root and Foaly set off down the hall.  Holly began to follow, and stopped as Artemis touched her shoulder.

"Doesn't it appear we're being herded in this direction?" he asked softly.  She nodded agreement.  

"Of course it does.  Unfortunately, we have to play Defea's game."

*************************

An ear-splitting siren and flashing strobe light pierced the night silence, and Juliet winced.

"Oh, that's just great." she muttered, and advanced on the nerd.  Trouble got there first.

"Okay, that was dumb, even for a Mud Man." the captain snarled, aiming the huge gun directly at Kegel's chest.  The nerd raised his hands.

"Hey, if you shoot me, the security will catch you, and you'll never get your brother back, because the door is coded to my computer password algorithm.  If you leave now, you can probably disappear or whatever it is you... _people _do before security gets here.  And if you leave now, you have my word that I won't kill your brother, and I won't even raise the price of the ransom.  Those are the only choices you have." he said with a studiously nonchalant shrug.

"There's a third choice." Trouble stated, shaking his head.  "You can call off the alarm right now, or I'll shoot you and start blasting this entire complex apart until I find my brother."  Kegel gaped at him, and the captain added, "Don't worry.  I won't kill you.  I wouldn't want you to miss explaining the situation to _your_ superiors."

Kegel stared in shock at the tiny figure floating in midair.  Despite his diminutive size, he was much scarier than the blonde warrior.

"Okay." he whispered in a mouth gone dry.  He banged the button again, and the siren stopped screaming, but continued to flash.  Keeping both his hands where the intruders could see them, he carefully picked up the phone on his desk.

"Yes, this is Kegel.  Actually, it was just an accident.  I slipped and hit the button by accident.  Everything's fine." he said, then frowned.  He turned to see the fairy glaring at him, slim fingers playing a tattoo on the barrel of the blaster.  "No, I don't need the security team to do an inspection.  I'm in the middle of something important, and I don't need to trip over your steroid-happy goons for an hour.  I said I was sorry, and that it was an accident.  Okay?"  The nerd didn't wait for an answer, but slammed the phone down.  As he hung up, he heard a very uncomplimentary phrase spat into the receiver on the other end.  He turned back to the intruders and waited for the fairy to speak.  

***********

The next door Root opened without a problem, and the team stepped cautiously into the room.  There was another door in the far left hand side, and a large panel in the ceiling.  Root frowned up at it.  

"Odd."  

Artemis, however, had noticed something far odder.  He crossed to the exit.  "There's no handle on this door."  

"What?" Foaly said, and Holly whirled around, already knowing what she would see.  The door behind them had closed, and there was no handle on it either.  

"D'Arvit!"  

Root yanked out his Neutrino, aimed it at the door, and squeezed off a quick shot.  Instead of the shot blasting through, denting or even ricocheting off the door, it seemed almost to absorb the laser blast.  Ripples of rainbow colored energy washed across the door, and it spread to the walls.  

"I wouldn't try that again, if I were you." Defea warned.  "If the walls absorb enough heat, they have the potential to fry everyone in the room."  

"So why are we in here, hmm?  Are you just going to let us starve in here?  That's not very original, you know." Foaly commented.  

"Oh, no.  I have something very original planned."  And with that, the panel in the ceiling began to open.  

"I have a really bad feeling about this." Holly said, searching for something to shoot.  

"This was one of my most ingenious ideas, but I was never able to find volunteers to test it.  So, consider yourselves drafted."  The panel opened completely, to reveal a bright, pure, golden light.  

Sunlight.  

For one wild moment, Artemis wondered whether she planned to sunburn them all to death.  _That_ would definitely be original.  Then it hit him.  Sunlight.  Fairies were always underground, came out only at night.  And they only came out at night because...   

He spun in time to see Holly sinking to her knees.  "She couldn't have…" the elf ground out, pale as snow.  Root didn't look much better.  It was the first time the commander had been any color but beet red in centuries.  

Foaly leaned over the two, trying to block the light with his body.  After all, centaurs didn't have magic, so they weren't affected by the sunlight.  "Hang on!"  

Blue sparks started to flicker around the two fairies' heads, but the blue was much paler than usual.  In fact, as Artemis watched, the color bleached to nothingness and the sparks faded into the room.  

"We have to get them out!" Foaly cried, looking up at the teen.  "This will _kill_ them."  

"This is…certainly original." Holly grinned, with a definite grimace of pain behind the smile.  

"Don't worry, Fowl will think of something." the centaur assured her.  He turned to the human.  "Fowl, think of something!"  

Artemis nodded once and shrugged off his backpack.  He headed to the far door.  He pulled a lump of gray plastic out of his bag and stuck it where the door met the frame.  The teen made a slight flicking motion and moved away quickly.  Foaly narrowed his eyes to identify the material, then gasped.  

"No _way_." 

***********

"Now, unlike Juliet here, I'm only going to ask this once." the fairy said softly.  Dangerously.  "Where is my brother?"

Kegel swallowed, and pointed towards a far wall.  Juliet moved closer.  There was nothing there.  

"Juliet, we're a little pressed for time here." Trouble prompted.  Juliet didn't even look up.  

"Um, busy?" 

Upon closer inspection, the seams of a door could be seen.  There was no handle.  She turned back to the nerd.

"I believe you said something about a computer password?" she prompted.  Without a word, Kegel moved to a monitor and typed in a rapid sequence of letters and numbers.  The door obediently popped open, revealing a tiny figure slumped disconsolately on the floor.  At the sudden opening of his prison, the hostage jumped up.

"Trouble!" he shouted gleefully, and burst out of the closet.  Trouble held up a hand to stop his brother from jumping on him, and kept his full attention on the Mud Man.

            "Now, the officer had some equipment on his person.  Where is it?" he commanded rather than asked.  Kegel sulkily opened a cabinet and pulled out a helmet, a blaster, and lots of disconnected bits.  Trouble raised an eyebrow at the destruction.

            "I was taking it apart to see how it worked." Kegel muttered.  

            Grub shook his head, and tugged on Trouble's sleeve.  "He said he was going to sell it to arms dealers, Trub!"

            The Mud Man shrugged, quite unrepentant.  "I have to make a living somehow.  Now what happens?  You got your brother back."

            Trouble reholstered his blaster, and Kegel softly breathed a sigh of relief.  Then the captain grinned suddenly.

            "Now comes the best part." he said gleefully.  He quickly flew right up into Kegel's face, and punched him in the jaw.  The nerd's eyes rolled back in his head and he collapsed to the floor.  Trouble rubbed his knuckles, still smiling.

            "Okay, I'll work on mindwiping the human.  Juliet, would you go through his computer files and make sure there aren't any records of this?"

"There shouldn't be, since this little operation of his was supposed to be a secret." she commented as she moved over to the monitor Kegel was using.

"What do you want me to do?" Grub piped up.  Trouble stopped smiling, and turned to his brother.  He took a deep breath.

"What the _heck_ did you think you were doing up on the surface?!  You weren't cleared for such an operation, and you got yourself into a bad situation because of your stupidity.  If this Kegel person had been smarter, we could have had another Fowl situation on our hands.  You are in deep trouble, Corporal." Trouble snarled.  He wanted to bellow at his brother, but he figured that it might attract some of the wrong kind of attention.

Grub was shook.  "But I was on a mission, a secret one..." he started to babble.  Trouble cut him off.

"Retrieve all of your equipment and let's get out of here."

Grub nodded slowly and moved to make sure none of the bits got left behind, lip trembling slightly.  Trouble turned and bent over the unconscious human.  Juliet slowly sidled up to Grub.

"He was really worried about you." she whispered.  Grub looked up, hope glimmering in his eyes.

"Then he's not mad at me?" he asked pathetically.

Juliet smiled at the elf.  "No, he's _real_ mad at you, but that's because you could have been hurt."

"Oh." Grub said, not quite sure whether that was reassuring or not.  The girl moved back towards the closet, where Mulch was waiting.

"That was pretty impressive for a Mud Maid." he said by way of greeting.  "Except for the part where you let him _mesmer_ you, of course."

Juliet smiled and knelt down to his eye level.  Mulch felt a small shiver go down his back.  "Why didn't you help us?" she asked pleasantly.

"Um, well, you didn't really look like you needed it.  Besides," he added flippantly, "Bodily harm wasn't in my contract."

Trouble appeared next to him in a flash, hand going towards his buzz baton.  "We can add it if you want."

Mulch smiled, a little nervously.  "That's quite all right.  Now, let's work on fixing the floor and get out of here."

Trouble and Juliet bent down to help Mulch pick up the CD-Rs when Grub came up with his helmet in hand.  

"Trouble…it really wasn't my fault." he said plaintively.  Trouble whirled on him.  

"Look, don't try to excuse yourself with some stupid secret mission.  If the Council had authorized this, Commander Root would have at least _known _about it.  In falling for that trick, you endangered yourself, your team, and every fairy underground who could have been exploited by this Kegel person.  Heaven knows, we've had to deal with enough human exploitation as it is."

Juliet frowned.  "Excuse you."  

Trouble glared at her.  "Stay out of this."  

"Look, _boys_, as much as I'd love to argue with you, don't you think we should get out of here before something-"  

There came a banging on the door and it sprang open.  The regular night shift guard peered in, saw Kegel's unconscious (and bruised) form on the ground, and started shouting.  

"-like that happens." Juliet finished.  The two elves didn't answer, as they'd already dived down the tunnel.  

"Come on sweetie, you're preaching to thin air here." Mulch said.  She slid into the tunnel and Mulch followed, sealing it behind him as he went. 

***********

The plastic explosive Artemis had placed on the door detonated, shook the house, and the door blew into a small atrium.  Foaly started to lug Root toward the safety of the shade as Artemis returned to pick up Holly.  

"I don't need you to carry me." she protested, trying to sound like her normal self and failing miserably.  

"Captain, shut up."  Holly's eyes widened slightly.  

Foaly and Artemis set the elves down in the darkened atrium.  The centaur looked up long enough to cock an eyebrow at Artemis.  

"Whatever happened to subtle?  And _where_ did you get that plastic explosive?"  

"I didn't have time to be subtle, and Butler thought Semtex might come in handy." he answered.  "How are they doing?"  

Foaly glanced down at the two fairies, who were breathing as if they'd just finished twenty rounds with a goblin on steroids.  Root glanced up at Foaly from his position on the ground.  "First, her décor leaves one with a sense of insanity, then we discover she has a fetish for sunlight.  Donkey, what did you _see_ in this girl?!"  His insult just didn't have the usual snap behind it.  

"I broke up with her after she redecorated." Foaly muttered.  "She was starting to creep me out."  

"Wrong." Defea's voice rang out suddenly.  "_I_ broke up with _you_."  

Foaly looked up, trying to find where her voice was coming from.  He was mad.  Foaly didn't often get mad, usually just annoyed or upset or whiny.  But now he was _livid_.  "Defea, all joking aside, how _could_ you?!  They could have _died_!" 

"Nonsense, they would have had to be exposed to sunlight for days to suffer any permanent harm." Defea's voice answered. 

"Permanent harm?  Defea, how would you know how long it would take?  How did you get sunlight down here in the first place?!"

"Well, when I inherited the house, there was a small crack leading straight up to the surface.  It was really quite easy to line it with mirrors so the daylight would reflect down here.  It was a test of my genius.  And I thought it would come in handy if anyone tried to break into my lab." Defea said ironically.

Foaly started to sputter, and Root did not look pleased either.  Even Artemis did not seem impressed with the ruthlessness Defea showed.  Finally, Foaly found his voice.  

"Defea, even after I learned that you were smuggling with Mud Men, even after I learned that you had kidnapped a girl, I never thought you would stoop that low!"

"It wasn't low." Defea responded a little sulkily.  "It was defense.  If you hadn't come after me, it wouldn't have happened."

Holly sat up fairly smoothly, and staggered to her feet.  "Defense or not, I'm going to kill her."

 "Holly." Foaly protested.  "You're in no condition to take on a baby pixie right now.  Give yourself a minute to heal."  

"I'm about out of magic, so it would take distinctly longer than a minute to heal.  And by then, I won't be as mad as I am now."  She started to move toward the door.  "I'm _going_ to kill her."  

With that statement, she kicked the door off its hinges.  

Artemis's eyes were much more used to sunlight than the fairies, though he did make an effort to stay inside.  That's probably why he saw the laser swinging down and no one else did.  

****************

AN: *Giggles* Now, I promise I won't let you all hang in desperation too long. I swear I will post on time. 

ASN: Uh-huh.

AN: And she's just a pessimist, ignore her. Preview!!

** The room was definitely Defea's lab. There were shelves filled with components and wires, and half-completed projects littered a large table. A purple and orange couch added to the décor. At the far end of the room was a large computer terminal inset into the wall. A large neon pink swivel chair faced the terminal. There was no one else in the room. As the group approached, weapons drawn, the chair turned to face them.**

** "Hi." Simone grinned.**

ASN: And I'm certain you're all going 'But what happened to Holly?!?!?!?!?

AN: And the answer is....

ASN: We're not telling. 

AN: Have a nice day. 


	26. Heroics & VillianyImpulsive Stupidness

AN: Well, I have to admit I thought we'd get a lot more reviews threatening our lives if we didn't update.  

ASN: *Rolls eyes* And you sound so depressed.  

AN: I _am_.  I look forward to those.  Anyway, here's the new chapter.  

**Chapter 26     Heroics and Villainy Impulsive Stupidness**

Trouble waited until Mulch emerged from the tunnel before giving the order to move out.   

The shuttle had been left in the nearest fairy fort, which was conveniently at the far end of a green field bordering the complex.  Unfortunately, neither Juliet nor Mulch could shield, and it was all open area to the fort.  They bolted for the field.

Just as a guard came around the corner of the fence.  "I found them!  Hey, stop!" he shouted, swinging his gun up.  

Needless to say, none of them stopped.  Grub and Trouble shielded as bullets flew over their heads.  Juliet ran faster, but slowed a tad as she felt a blast of wind go past her.  Towards the guard.  She turned just in time to see the guard trip and fall over an unseen obstacle, gun flying out of his hand.  As it hit the ground, the barrel mysteriously bent at a 90 degree angle, rendering it most definitely unfireable.  

Trouble reappeared next to Juliet a second later, just in time to open the entrance to the fort.  As they all slowed to a stop next to the shuttle, breathing heavily, Juliet tapped Trouble on the shoulder.

"Hey, Captain?" she said, regaining her breath.

Trouble turned.  "Yeah?" he asked.

Juliet grinned.  "I like your name.  It suits you."

***********

Without ever making a conscious decision, Artemis dove for the elf silhouetted in the door.  He slammed into her hard, knocking her off her feet as something hot hissed over his head.  The force of his tackle sent them both skidding across the atrium and slamming into the wall.

Artemis found himself lying sprawled halfway on top of Holly.  The teen squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head, trying to figure out what had possessed him to dive in front of a laser.  He opened his eyes to find Holly's face a mere six inches from his own.  She was rubbing her head from where she'd bashed it when they hit the wall.  Her eyes, still flashing with pent up, murderous rage, were now focused solely on Artemis.

He quickly rolled off the infuriated elf.

"And just _what_ was that for?" she snarled, sitting up.

Artemis didn't answer, but stood, brushing himself off.  He wordlessly gestured towards a large, smoking hole in the wall directly behind where Holly had stood.  It was squarely between Root and Foaly, and they were both gazing at the hole with wide-eyed consternation.

"Oh." Holly whispered, and then stared up at the Mud Boy.  "Uh, thanks."

Artemis turned away.  "Don't mention it." he muttered.  He could only imagine what the Butlers would do if they ever found out their charge had done something so reckless...  "Please."

Holly stood and said nothing.  Root came up stomping up and yanked the tiny, single-shot laser out of its housing on the ceiling.

"That's it." he growled.  "I'm going to send that centaur to Howler's Peak for the rest of her natural life.  And may she live for centuries with only goblins for company."

Foaly approached him gingerly.  "Isn't that a little harsh?"

Root turned back to him.  "No." he said calmly.  He then turned to his officer.  "Holly, are you okay?"

"Yes sir." the elf said simply, checking her Neutrino.  "I'm going to rip off Defea's hooves and make her eat them.  _Then_ I'll kill her."  With that she stalked into the next room.

Artemis eyed her rapidly receding back uneasily.  "Commander, are you sure it's wise to let her go in first in that state of mind?"

  Root nodded once and drew his own laser.  "At times like this, it's safer to be behind her than in front of her."

He stepped into the room, and Artemis and Foaly followed close behind.

The room was definitely Defea's lab.  There were shelves filled with components and wires, and half-completed projects littered a large table.  A purple and orange couch added to the décor.  At the far end of the room was a large computer terminal inset into the wall.  A large neon pink swivel chair faced the terminal.  There was no one else in the room.  As the group approached, weapons drawn, the chair turned to face them.

"Hi." Simone grinned.

***********

"Simone?" Holly asked incredulously.  "Where's Defea?"

"Oh, she's not here right now." the girl said airily.  "Can I take a message?"  Before they could respond, she frowned.  "Let's see.  You must be Arty's girl."  Holly reddened with anger.  "And you must be that crazy commander, and Defea's ex, and you…"  Simone's eyes widened fractionally.  "Arty?"  

"Simone." he responded impassively.  

"I didn't know you would come!" she chirped.  "Nice to see you!"

"Arty?" Defea's voice came suddenly.  "You mean _the_ Artemis Fowl?  Nice to meet - well, nice to hear you, anyway.  I'm not too surprised, actually.  I was wondering who the brains of your little group was."  

"Defea, where are you?" Root demanded.  "Show yourself!"

Artemis frowned.  "She's using speakers and broadcasting her voice from another location." he concluded, pointing at tiny speakers hidden in the corners of the room.

Simone laughed derisively.  "Of course.  I'm surprised the great Artemis Fowl didn't figure it out sooner."

"I had." Artemis assured her emotionlessly.  "The volume and quality of her voice never changed no matter what room we were in.  Rather careless of you not to have taken that into account."

"Oh.  That's very impressive for a Mud Man.  Apparently you're not as primitive as a species as Kegel made you seem." Defea sighed.  "I'm sort of disappointed you didn't bring your pet dwarf though.  I went to all the trouble of lining my lab in asphalt so he couldn't come through the walls, and for nothing."

"So, you knew the entire time that Defea wasn't here?" Root bellowed, spinning to face Artemis.  "Why didn't you say something?!"

"It wouldn't have done anything.  The main goal was to find Simone and get her away from Haven.  If I had told you earlier that Defea was gone, you would have lost your temper and been too upset to focus on the house and its traps."

Root's face purpled.  That was most likely what he would have done.  When did the Mud Boy get to know him so well?

"Fine, Fowl.  Forget it." he ground out between gritted teeth.  "Defea, do you have any idea what's going to happen to you when we find you?"

"Well-"

"Defea, come on!" Foaly interrupted.  "You can't run forever.  No matter what you think, we'll find you, and then evading custody will be added to your list of crimes."

"Look," Defea said, her voice suddenly meek, "I've realized what a huge mistake all this was.  I know now that kidnapping Simone was a stupid idea.  I am utterly ashamed of my behavior."

Holly wasn't buying it.  "So why run?  Why set the booby traps and pull that sunlight trick?"

"Those were all pretty dumb too." Defea said, avoiding the question.  "Anyway, about all the smuggling and dealing with Mud Men and kidnapping and stuff.  Well, I was wondering if we could sort of put this behind us.  Just view it as…oh, temporary insanity and forget it ever happened?"

"And why should we do that?" Holly snapped.  The elf was certain Defea was lying through her teeth.  "You _are_ a criminal on the run."

"Um…for old time's sake?"

There was a minute of silence as Holly and Foaly looked at each other.  Then Holly snapped her laser up and put two smart shots into the speaker.  It sparked and died.

Defea sat back in her shuttle seat as the speaker system went silent.  "I guess not."  

Now she'd have to always be on guard.  A small grin stole over her face as the shuttle flew on towards Atlantis.  Maybe she'd take a few of Foaly's security ideas and upgrade them.  A plaid plasma floor would be effective...and attractive….

******************

AN: All right, everyone, now that the story's over, we have an announcement.  We think we have decided on a title!!!!

ASN: Finally.  

AN: Shut up; it's partly your fault we didn't come up with one immediately.  

ASN: Anyway, we will tell you all who won…

AN: Next time.  Just to keep the tension up.  (Also, Ryn there is still not sure…)

ASN: You liar!! _You're_ the one not sure!  

AN: *Smiles innocently* Me?  Why, never.  

ASN: *Glares* So, you will be informed the next time, we promise.  Now for the preview.  

**"You seem entirely too comfortable there.  Why aren't you trussed up in some corner?"**

**"Simple." Simone answered, leaning back in the chair.  It was built for centaurs, but Simone did look very much at home.  "In order to keep Defea from losing her nerve and just flat out killing me, I teamed up with her and assisted a little."**

**Four pairs of eyes stared at her.  "What?" Holly whispered.  "You helped her?"**

**Simone shrugged.  "Why not?"**

AN: Now, I can guarantee more people are going to ask for Simone's head after they read that.  

ASN: Most likely.  But they'll have to wait to see what Simone has to say for yourself.  Bye-bye!!


	27. Now What?

AN: Hi, we're back! 

ASN: *Dryly* And they all dance with joy.   

AN: Party pooper.  

**Chapter 27      Now What?**

Holly turned back to the others and holstered her laser, fairly seething.  "How _dare_ she imply we should let her off?!"

"Um, Captain," Root said, "That was a little drastic, don't you think?"  Holly studied her commander.

"Were you going to forgive her?"

"No, but I thought we could trace the signal back to where she was going."

Holly turned to Foaly and Artemis.  "Tell me, resident geniuses, could we have traced the signal?"

Artemis and Foaly glanced at each other, both coming to the same conclusion.  "Probably not."

"Okay then." she said, turning back to Root.  "Satisfied, Commander?"

"Yep." Root grinned, as he replaced his laser onto his hip.  "Now.  Let's deal with the Mud Maid."

Simone smiled.  "That's me, correct?"

"That's you." Holly replied.  "You seem entirely too comfortable there.  Why aren't you trussed up in some corner?"

"Simple." Simone answered, leaning back in the chair.  It was built for centaurs, but Simone did look very much at home.  "In order to keep Defea from losing her nerve and just flat out killing me, I teamed up with her and assisted a little."

Four pairs of eyes stared at her.  "What?" Holly whispered.  "You _helped_ her?"

Simone shrugged.  "Why not?"

Holly clenched the butt of her laser and started toward the Mud Maid.  "You helped her escape.  You helped her set those traps and almost kill us.  I-"

Artemis laid a hand on the livid elf's shoulder.  She shrugged it off and glared at him.  "What?"

"If I'm not allowed to harm her, neither are you." he said calmly.  Holly took a deep breath, visibly restraining her temper.

"Simone."  Root took over the interrogation.  "You're telling us you assisted a kidnapper in escaping.  That's makes you an accessory.  As the daughter of an Interpol inspector, you must know that's a criminal offense."

"I was trying to save myself!" Simone answered hotly.  "I had to help her to make her think I wasn't a danger."

"So what _exactly_ did you do?" Foaly asked ominously.

"I just sat here and watched.  I controlled the light/noise balls." Simone declared.  When she saw the glares leveled at her, she squirmed.  "And I helped Defea rig the speakers through the house, and rewired her comm system so she could speak remotely.  That's it!"  The girl gazed at the faces surrounding her.  The commander was bright red and looked like he was ready to explode.  The other centaur looked curious but unbelieving.  The female elf looked positively hostile, and Artemis was staring at her, arms crossed and eyebrow raised.

Simone glared back at the teen.  "You don't believe me?" she challenged him.  Artemis looked at her with the detachment of one who doesn't really care.

"Of course not." he said.  She was about to say something nasty when Foaly spoke up.

"And exactly which of the traps did you design?  Defea may be clever, but her creativity is limited to her decorating scheme."

Simone's gaze flipped back to the centaur, and she hesitated one fatal moment.

"So you did do just a little bit more than rewiring." Holly said maliciously.

The girl looked down, then snapped her head back up.

"Defea already had the floor in the study rigged.  She said she installed it for her uncle."

"So paranoia is a species trait." Holly muttered.

Simone continued.  "She put together the EMP device.  Hers was much smaller and more compact than mine would have been.  And the sunlight thing…whatever it was…was installed years ago, when she first got the house.  The other things were my ideas."

"All of them?" Root asked incredulously, eyeing the slim teenage girl.

She grinned proudly.  "Yes, all the others."

Root exploded.  "We risked our lives to save a kidnapped girl who was trying to kill us!"

"I wasn't trying to hurt anyone." Simone protested.  "All the traps were designed to give you a good scare, or to disable your equipment.  I knew nothing about the sunlight thing!"

"But you were the one who thought up the laser?" Root growled.  Simone nodded.  "And how was _that_ not going to kill anyone?"

"It was aimed to go right over a fairy's head." Simone replied smugly.  "You would have had to work very hard to get hit."

"Aimed over a fairy's head." Foaly repeated.  "Right at Artemis's chest."

Simone couldn't help but blanch slightly.  "I didn't know he was coming!" she retorted.  "It would have been an accident!  And he didn't get hit."

"But someone still could have gotten killed!" Foaly yelled, visibly angry.

Simone gathered her courage.  She wasn't going to be beaten by a centaur.  _Any_ centaur.  "Compared to what Artemis here did to the fairies when he first met you, I don't see where what I did was so dangerous."

Artemis stepped forward suddenly.  His face was its usual calm façade, but fury shone in his blue eyes.  "In all my activities, I have never gotten anyone kill-"

And he stopped.

The anger in his eyes faded, to be replaced by a deep sorrow.  Against his will, the teen glanced away for a second.  Simone saw the movement and realized why he had quieted.

"Oh-ho." she snorted and crossed her arms.  "Looks like dear 'innocent' Artemis has no right to be lecturing me after all."  Artemis looked up, angry again, but Holly interrupted before he could say anything.

The elf walked right up to where Simone was sitting and slapped the Mud Maid as hard as she could.

"You remind me so much of Artemis Fowl when we first met." the elf accused.  Everyone stared at Holly in shock.  Simone snapped out of it first.

"How dare you!  I am nothing like him."  

"No," Holly snarled, "You're not.  Artemis _changed_.  He may have made mistakes in his life but at least he knows enough to be _sorry_!  You, Simone, are not sorry.  And until you realize how _stupid_ you just acted, you are not going to be sorry.  You knowingly put people into danger, which is something Artemis and the Butlers would never, _ever_, do."  Holly glared at the girl for a silent moment, then spoke again with venom.  "It is because of people like _you_ that the fairies had to flee underground."

"_How dare y_-" Simone started to snap, but Root interrupted.

"Shut up." he said ominously.  Simone actually fell silent.  She folded her hands and looked down.  Nobody spoke.

After a long minute, Root sighed.  "Let's lock down this place and get back to Haven." he said tiredly.  "I don't want to be contaminated by the Mud Men anymore than I have to."

Simone looked up.  "And what are you going to do with me?" she asked.  "After all, I know about you and this place."

Root grinned viciously.  "Not for long."

Simone looked up in alarm.  "You wouldn't dare..."

"Dare what?" Holly asked with a grin as she and Root escorted her through the wreckage of Defea's house.  Foaly picked up the pieces of fried technology as he followed.  Artemis merely followed, his blank expression revealing none of his inner thoughts. 

"You can't kill me!" Simone protested.  "I'm the person who was kidnapped!"

"Who said anything about dying?" Root asked.  "We're simply going to remove your memories of the past few days." 

Simone was shocked.  To her, that seemed to be a fate worse than death.  To have someone invade her mind...  "You can't do that." she whispered.

"Actually, we can." Foaly began to lecture as he opened the front entrance door.  "It's really quite a simple technique-"

"No, you can't _do_ this!" Simone exclaimed, starting to panic noticeably.  "It's my mind!  What right do you have to poke around in it?!"

"You are a danger to the People.  You must be neutralized." Holly explained sensibly as they entered the shuttle.

"I promise I won't tell."

"What makes you think we can trust you?" Root asked simply.

Simone cast her eyes around, trying to find anything that would help her.  Her eyes fell on Artemis.

"And does _he_ get to keep his memories?  After all, you mindwiped him once.  Isn't he a danger too?" she spat.

***************

AN: Ohh… and we leave you on a very tense note.  Mah wah ha!!

ASN: Halloween always goes to her head.  

AN: We started decorating today.  I love Halloween.  Candy is my friend.  Its calories I ignore…

ASN: NO!!!!  Do NOT start with the "So and so is my friend" thing.  Tell them who won the title contest.  

AN: Oh yeah.  Our title is:  Drumroll, please.  

ASN: That's not it.  Anyway, dadadadadadadaddadadadadadada…

AN: Oh, brother.  Now, we decided on:

****

**_Artemis Fowl and the Hostage Situations_**

ASN: Now, the title we chose was not one all of you sent in, but it was heavily inspired by the suggestion "Hostile Situations."  

AN: The only problem is, we can't figure out who suggested it.  It was an anonymous entry, signed **_title suggestions dwmc_**.  

ASN: Please, whoever sent this in, notify Lessa by email.  Tell her your name, and we'll dedicate one of the upcoming chapters to you.  

AN: Thanks to everyone for your ideas.  

ASN: Oh yes, our second fav was **"Artemis Fowl and the Trouble with Kelp"**, submitted by Phire Phoenix Chan.  Sorry, that one was just too funny to ignore.  

AN: And seriously people, all the ideas were great.  I'm sorry everyone couldn't win, but that would end up being one doozy of a title! 

ASN: So, thanks, thanks, thanks.  We love you all. And here's the preview.   

**"Huh?  Interpol?  The fairies rescued this Grub person from Kegel's lab?  _In_ Interpol?" Simone gasped.**

**Artemis nodded placidly.  "Yes.  With Juliet and a dwarf named Mulch, they broke into Interpol's main headquarters."**

**The girl's eyes widened.  "And how did they get into Interpol without getting caught?  The security is foolproof!"**

**Artemis patented vampire smile appeared.  "They used the blueprints."**

AN: And how did Arty get the blueprints?  

ASN: Wait and find out.  Miss Lessa should post soon.

AN: That's my line!!  


	28. Dilemmas

AN: I was going to update earlier, really.  But my little brother said he wanted to watch _Star Trek_, and well…

ASN: Trust me, nothing gets in between Lessa and her_ Star Trek._  

AN: That's not true!  *Thinks*  Well, actually…

ASN: My point.  

**Chapter 28   Dilemmas **

The three fairies glanced at Artemis.  Root had a wary expression on his face, Foaly looked thoughtful, and Holly seemed…worried.  After a second, Root turned back to Simone.  

"What happens to Artemis Fowl is none of your concern." he stated formally.  Simone bit her lip.  

"But-but-"  

"Simone," Root snapped, losing the fragile hold on his temper, "This is what we've done for centuries.  You are not a special case; you're facing the same fate as the various others who have met the People.  If they survived the procedure, so will you.  So stop whimpering!"  

The Mud Maid stopped and chose to get angry instead.  "Do you have any idea how many different human rights your 'mindwipe' will infringe upon?  You have _no_ right to be messing around in people's minds!"  

Foaly sighed.  "We've heard that argument many times before and we still have the same answer.  _If_ you Mud Men can ever accept the fact another species is living on Earth, we will gladly expose ourselves and our technology.  But until then, we must have a way of protection."

"But how do you know if humans are ready if you end up mindwiping everyone you see?!" she exclaimed.

"I think you and Kegel are good examples of how ready you are." Holly muttered.

"Kegel?" Simone echoed, temporarily distracted.  "You mean my dad's employee, the guy who kidnapped Defea's delivery boy?"

"Oh!" Holly exclaimed and darted into the front of the shuttle.  "We need to contact Trouble."

"Huh?"  Simone was now confused.  "Trouble?  What trouble?"

"Not what." Root said a little nastily.  "Who."  With that, he joined the others in the cockpit.

"Trouble?" Holly said into the comm system as she keyed for the screen communication.  "Trouble?  Are you there?"

There was a click and a face appeared on the screen.  "Wonderful timing, Holly." the elf answered, grinning.  "I was just going to try and contact you."

"We have our hostage back safely, though Defea got away." Root informed him.  "How about you?"

Trouble motioned off screen, and another elf stuck his head within viewscreen range.  "Hi, everyone." he said a little sulkily.

"Corporal." Holly said formally, and Grub flinched.  After a tense moment, she smiled.  "Good to see you."

Grub relaxed.  "Thank you, Captain."

"We're on our way back, sir." Trouble interrupted.  "We mindwiped Kegel and cleared out any computer files that looked suspicious, so he's not going to be a bother any longer.  Should we drop Juliet off at Fowl Manor on the way?"

"No, bring her along." Root said.  After glancing at Artemis, he sighed.  "You'd better bring Butler as well.  We're going to mindwipe Simone-"

"No, you're _not_!" the girl protested angrily.  Root glared at her.

"We _are_ going to mindwipe Simone, and then we'll go from there.  Meet us at the Operations Booth whenever you arrive."  Out of the corner of his eyes, Root saw a calculating smirk cross Artemis's face.  "Wait.  Make that the conference room."

"Yes sir." Trouble replied.  "And Mulch?"

The commander's eyes narrowed.  "Bring him as well.  I already regret letting him out of my sight."

"He was fine." Trouble remarked offhandedly.

"I'll believe _that_ when I see it." Root snarled.  "Goodbye, Captain."

Trouble saluted and signed off.  After fuming for a moment, Root turned.  "All right, everyone except the captain out of the cockpit so she can fly.  Behind the yellow line!"

Artemis stepped out of the cockpit calmly, with Foaly following behind.  Simone, however, was determined to be as annoying as possible.  Maybe they'd just dump her off somewhere to be rid of her instead of mindwiping her.

"That Trouble person was sent to rescue Defea's friend, right?  You know, they look a lot alike.  It also sounded like Juliet went with them.  And who is this Mulch?"

Root pointed to the door.  "Move it." he growled.  Simone thought about asking again, but the reddening anger on the commander's face made her stop.  If they _did_ dump her underground to be rid of her, she'd have real problems...

Simone rolled her eyes and walked out into the main shuttle room.

"Hey, Arty." she chirped, watching him settle into a seat.  "Maybe you can answer my questions.  After all, you seem to be pretty buddy-buddy with these guys."

Foaly raised an eyebrow.  This would prove to be interesting.

Artemis had sat down and leaned back silently.  Now he closed his eyes.  "And why do you want to know?  After all, in a short while, you will remember none of this."

"Well, excuse me for wanting to learn." Simone shot back.  "Maybe you'll just accept your fate, but I'm going to fight it.  At least I'll have answers."  She gave Foaly a nasty glare.

Artemis sighed, then leaned forward.  "Captain Trouble Kelp was sent to retrieve Corporal Grub Kelp from Kegel's Interpol lab."

"Oh?  Same name?  They must be related then."  Suddenly Simone straightened from her relaxed slouch.  "Huh?  Interpol?  He rescued him from Kegel's lab?  _In_ Interpol?"

Artemis nodded placidly.  "Yes.  With Juliet and a dwarf named Mulch, they broke into Interpol's main headquarters."

The girl's eyes widened.  "And how did they get into Interpol without getting caught?  The security is foolproof!"

Artemis patented vampire smile appeared.  "They used the blueprints."

Foaly bit back a laugh as Simone's jaw dropped.  "The blueprints." she echoed.

"Yes."

"And where would they get blueprints for Interpol's building _and_ security systems?!  They aren't something you just wander across on the Internet!"

"I know." Artemis replied, leaning back and steepling his fingers, a smirk sliding onto his face.  "I used the hacking program you left at the manor to get the plans.  It's much safer to use the original blueprints, after all."

Simone couldn't find her voice.  She just stared.  Artemis raised an eyebrow.

"Rather careless of them actually.  They didn't expect their own technology used against them, so it was very easy to hack in."

Simone shrugged off the implied insult.  At last, Artemis Fowl Jr. had slipped up.  "Do you realize that you just admitted to a criminal act to an investigator's daughter?" she said with a feral grin.

Artemis blinked at her.  "You don't have any witnesses who would show up in court.  Besides, I'm fairly certain neither of us will remember." he stated.  Simone frowned, coming back to reality.

"What do you mean, 'neither of us?'" she asked snidely.  "You helped them find me, and Juliet helped them rescue that Grub person.  If anything, you'd think your girl Holly would protest you getting mindwiped."

Foaly stopped wanting to laugh and eyeballed Artemis.  "Your girl?"

Artemis looked unamused.  "Simone is reading too much into Holly's activities.  From her comments when we re-met, I'm fairly certain Captain Short would enjoy seeing me disappear from her life."

"I don't know." Foaly commented.  "It's always a lot more active around here whenever you're involved."  The Mud Boy made no comment.  Simone, however, was searching for a new subject to tease the boy with.  And since this one seemed to annoy him more than any others she had found, she had better take advantage of it while she still could.  

"So, has Holly always fought with Arty?"

"Oh, yeah." Foaly assured her.  "He kidnapped her when he first learned about the fairies, and she held a grudge about that for over a year."

"Uh-huh."  Simone believed that; the veiled look on Artemis's face was enough proof.  "And did she ever slap him?" she asked, rubbing her cheek.  The elf had a pretty strong hand.

"Actually, no." Holly said as she emerged from the cockpit, "I just punch him.  And he deserved all of them.  Now come on, we're here."

Root and Foaly exited the shuttle with haste.  Holly was a good pilot, but she had a taste for acrobatics.  Especially when she had humans on board.

Trouble was just landing his shuttle farther down the hangar.  His passengers disembarked as well, Mulch being the first off.

"Don't even think about trying to sneak off." Root growled, approaching the dwarf at a fast clip.  Mulch turned.

"Of course I won't." he said insolently.  "I'm not a criminal anymore, so I'm not afraid of you.  Besides, you owe me money for services rendered."

Root turned a deep shade of purple, but before he could say anything, Trouble cut him off.

"Sir, it would probably be wise to get the Mud People to the conference room where there's no risk of them being seen."

Root had to acknowledge the wisdom of that suggestion.  A Mud Man in Haven would send the city into a screaming panic.  He didn't even want to think about what would happen with four.

"Corporal, you go first and make sure the corridors are clear." the commander growled.  "Foaly, you go and set up the equipment."  Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Simone angrily open her mouth.  Holly jabbed her, and the girl fell into a sulky silence.

After Grub and Foaly had got a decent start, Root motioned for the humans to follow.  Artemis went first, with the Butlers following.  Trouble herded the French girl down the hall and not very gently.  After what Kegel did to his brother, he was feeling none too friendly towards opportunistic humans.

Holly fell into step next to Root.  "Commander, is it really a good idea to mindwipe Artemis again?  After all, it didn't work the first time."

Root sighed.  "It's not up to me anymore.  Now that Fowl has provided all the help he can, and now that Simone is back, the Council has to decide what happens to him."

Holly bit her lip, then persisted.  "He kept me from being hit by a laser.  Surely that counts for something."

Root was tired; which was understandable since none of them had gotten any sleep since Grub was kidnapped.  He was also frustrated since Defea had outsmarted them.  He was _also_ mad at Simone for having cooperated with a centaur with the morals of a three-year-old goblin.  Simply put, he was not in a good mood.

"Captain, I don't know, and I really don't care what happens to the Mud Boy.  The entire race could disappear off the face of the planet, and all I would do is cheer."  He looked closer at his officer.  "You never told me why you were at Fowl Manor in the first place."

Holly cringed, mentally criticizing herself for having brought up the subject.  "Well, sir, it-"  She stopped as they reached the conference room with a small sigh of relief.

Root glared at her.  "This conversation is not over, Captain." he said dangerously, then stomped inside.  Holly followed with another sigh.

Foaly was already setting up the plasma screen for the mindwipe.  Wires were scattered all over the table, and electrodes lay innocently near the screen.  They gave no hint of the deadly damage they could cause.  Simone was standing in a corner, pacing like a caged lion.  An angry caged lion.  Mulch was talking softly to Juliet.  Butler was watching Artemis, who was leaning against a wall, brow furrowed, lost in thought.

Root walked over to Foaly.  "Are you going to do a selective or a blanket wipe?" he asked, ignoring the girl simmering in the corner behind him.  Simone sniffed audibly, then returned to glaring at the equipment littering the room.  

"It's only been three days since she was kidnapped, so a blanket wipe wouldn't do any harm.  It would probably be more effective than a selective wipe too." Foaly said significantly, glancing over at Artemis.

Artemis stared back stonily.

"Do it then." Root said tiredly, then turned to the girl.  She glared at him, with no hint of repentance in her eyes or her sullen posture.  However, she didn't try to fight as Foaly motioned her to a cushioned chair.  The fact that Trouble, Grub, _and_ Root had their lasers out may have had something to do with her cooperation.

"There's no way I can persuade you to let me go."  It was not a question, but a simple statement of fact.  Root shook his head.  

"I am sorry, Simone, but this is what we have to do."   

"I was just trying to survive." the Mud Maid threw out as Foaly swiped her forehead with disinfectant and attached the first electrode.

Holly looked at her almost sadly.  "So are we."

*************

AN: Ahh!  I can't figure out a good way to separate the chapters!  This one is so long!

ASN: I'm certain they aren't complaining.  

AN: But the next chapter is really, really, really short.  

ASN: Hmm.  In case, readers, consider yourselves warned.  

AN: Oh, yes, the next time we update, this will no longer be called _Artemis Fowl 4_.  It will be _Artemis Fowl and the Hostage Situations_ instead.  

ASN: So if you can't find our story, that's the reason.  

AN: Okay, now that we've nattered sufficiently, time for a preview.

**"And that's all you did while we were gone?" Angeline asked, a little suspiciously.  "You didn't go anywhere with the Butlers; you just stayed here?"  **

**Artemis blinked.  "Mother, do I seem to be the sort of person to go somewhere needlessly?"  **

**"No," Artemis Sr. said, "You're the sort of person to go wherever you need to be.  Where were you?"  **

**"What do you mean?" Artemis asked, not betraying his nervousness.  **

**"We tried to call when our plane arrived.  No one answered the phone.  Missing it once I understand, but after trying three times, we assumed you were out, and decided to stop for dinner.  If you weren't out, why didn't you answer the telephone?"  Angeline did not seem very pleased.  **


	29. Home Just in Time

AN: Hmm.  This isn't as short as I thought it would be.  I wonder where I went wrong.  

ASN: Right after you opened your mouth.  

AN: Ooohh.  That was uncalled for.  

ASN: So is your nattering.  Let them read the story.  

**Chapter 29  Home Just in Time**

The girl immediately fell unconscious, and all the fairies breathed a slight sigh of relief.  As the details of the last few days scrolled across Foaly's screen in Gnommish, he spun.  

"Okay, who's next?" he asked brightly  

Everyone in the room stared at him.  Artemis and the Butlers did not look amused.  Then the centaur realized what he said.  "I didn't mean it like that." he said hurriedly, switching off the screen.  "It was a joke." 

Silence covered the room for a moment, making the tension very obvious.  Just as the anxiety was getting uncomfortable, Mulch clapped his hands together.

"Now that that mess is taken care of, that leaves us with the slight, practically insignificant matter of my bill." he said with a huge grin on his face.  "I think three bars of gold is fair for all the work I put into this enterprise, right?"

Again the room went silent, but this was more ominous than awkward.  Root turned shades again and the LEP officers searched their brains for an excuse to leave the room.  

"Um, Commander?" Trouble said quickly.  "Permission to escort the Corporal back to quarters?"

Root didn't move his eyes from the irreverent dwarf.  "Permission granted.  Corporal Kelp, you will be summoned for debriefing tomorrow."

Grub nodded dejectedly.  "Yessir."  The two elves left.

"Now-" Root growled.  

Foaly coughed.  "I hate to interrupt, but when Simone wakes up, it should not be down here."

"We have to wait for the Council's decision on what to do with the other Mud Men." Root snapped.

"Don't you just _love_ bureaucracy?" Juliet muttered under her breath.  Butler placed a hand on her shoulder warningly, then spoke himself.

"Inspector Badeau is also scheduled to arrive sometime this evening.  It would look suspicious if we were not there."

Root sighed in frustration.  "Captain Short, take the humans back to the manor.  We can always bring them back down later."

Holly saluted and left with her charges before Root could turn his attention back to the disrespectful dwarf.  Foaly sat back in his chair and watched with a small grin. 

"Now," Root said, advancing on the dwarf, "_How_ much did you say?"

***********

The shuttle lifted off from Haven easily.  Holly glanced out of the corner of her eye at the Mud Boy who had made himself at home in the copilot sit and frowned.  He was staring at the rapidly disappearing city silently.  

"Afraid you're never going to see it again?" she asked before she could stop herself.  Artemis stiffened for a moment, then turned to face her.  

"I am more concerned with what the leaders of that city are planning on doing to me and the Butlers." he answered calmly.  Holly bit her lip.  

"And if they do decide to mindwipe you?" she asked.  He looked at her a little sharply, but she continued.  "Will you try to hide triggers from us again?"  There was a moment of silence. 

"I am human.  And as Simone demonstrated, one of the basic instincts of a human is the need to survive.  And I intend to let my memories survive.  So yes, I will try to retrieve my memories." Artemis said, not looking at Holly; his gaze was fixed on the chute walls.  

"And you realize it is our job to make sure you are prevented from regaining your memories?" she pressed.  Artemis nodded.  

"Yes, Captain.  I know."  

They were silent for the rest of the trip.  

After arriving at Fowl Manor, Butler carried Simone up to her room and put her in bed.  Foaly had estimated another hour or two before she woke.  Hopefully her father would not arrive before than.  

The Fowls were a different story.  

"Butler?" Angeline called as she stepped into the house.   "Artemis?  Is anyone home?"  

Artemis was in his study, going through various files on his computer and trying to create a backup plan without Holly catching him.  He glanced at Holly when he heard his mother call, and she immediately shielded.  

"D'Arvit."  A slight heat shimmer headed over to the computer seat Artemis had just abandoned.  "What are you going to tell her?" 

"That's for me to deal with.  Stay up here."  Artemis left the study and headed down the stairs, deliberately making the last step squeak.  Angeline spun.  

"Arty!" she said, sweeping him into a hug.  "How have you been doing?"  In a lower voice, she added, "You got along with Simone just fine, correct?"  

"I hardly noticed she was here." Artemis replied calmly as his father stepped through the door with the bags.  Artemis Sr. smiled.  

"Glad to hear it son.  I take it no more…incidents occurred?"  When Artemis shook his head, his father nodded proudly.  "Good.  Where is Simone, by the way?"  

"Sleeping." Artemis said promptly.  "There wasn't much for her to do, so she spent a lot of time in her room."  

"And that's all you did while we were gone?" Angeline asked, a little suspiciously.  "You didn't go anywhere with the Butlers; you just stayed here?"  

Artemis blinked.  "Mother, do I seem to be the sort of person to go somewhere needlessly?"  

"No," Artemis Sr. said, "You're the sort of person to go wherever you need to be.  Where were you?"  

"What do you mean?" Artemis asked, not betraying his nervousness.  

"We tried to call when our plane arrived.  No one answered the phone.  Missing it once I understand, but after trying three times, we assumed you were out, and decided to stop for dinner.  If you weren't out, why didn't you answer the telephone?"  Angeline did not seem very pleased.  

After a moment of frantic thought, Artemis fell back on the old standby.  "I needed to finish that school project I told you about, and so I had to meet with Holly.  Simone insisted on coming with me.  Juliet drove us, and I assumed Butler stayed here to keep an eye on the house.  Perhaps he was outside." A lame excuse, but an excuse nonetheless.  

Angeline studied him for a moment, then smiled.  "All right.  I'm glad to hear you and Simone were able to get along.  And how did she like this Holly?"

Artemis sighed.  "They didn't kill each other, but somehow, I don't think Holly was too fond of her."

"Shame." Angeline remarked.  "You do know I'd like to meet Holly at some point."  

"Yes, Mother." Artemis replied, catching his father's gaze.  Though Angeline seemed to have bought his story, Artemis Sr. was giving him a very unamused glare.  

"Angeline," his father said, "Why don't you go in and tell Juliet we're back.  Artemis and I will go find Butler."  With that, he placed a hand on his son's shoulder and steered him toward the stairs.  After they disappeared upstairs, Angeline shrugged.  

"Oh, well.  Tommy probably just wants to hear about Holly.  I'm certain Arty will tell his father more than he would tell me."  With that, she walked into the kitchen.  

******************

AN: Now, how many people bet Artemis Sr. really does want to know about Holly?  Ryn, how much do you bet?  

ASN:  Let me present Exhibit A: Ryn is broke.  Exhibit B: Ryn helped write the story; she knows what's going to happen.  And Exhibit C: It's quite obvious, Lessa.  

AN: Yeah, well, I'm always trying to sucker fools out of their money.  

ASN: *Rolls eyes*  I know.  

AN: Can I have five dollars for a Star Trek book?

ASN: *Hands Lessa money*  Sure…  Hey!!

AN: Hee, hee.  *Squeals as Ryn swings her fist*  You can't kill me until we finish the story!  

ASN: Well then, put up the preview so I can rough you up a little!!

AN: Um…

**"Holly…works for a government agency, Father.  I did tell you she was a little too old for me, after all."  **

**"So there's no school project?" Artemis Sr. asked, smiling slightly.  His son, help a government employee?**

**"No.  She and her superiors needed my technological expertise for a…rescue attempt."  Artemis Jr. sighed inwardly.  He doubted his father would believe this, but it was the only thing he could think of.  Sometimes it was better to tell the truth.  Especially when the truth sounded as believable as meeting a leprechaun and taking their gold. **

**The comparison brought a small smirk to the teen's face.  **

AN: And Arty spills all to his father.  Well, sorta.  

ASN:  And there you have it.  Enjoy, and see you soon.  Well, talk to you soon, anyway.  

AN: Write to you soon?  

ASN: You know, we _have_ to think up a snappy farewell saying.  


	30. Fathers

AN: *Wanders in limping slightly*  Hello, everyone.  You'll be pleased to know I worked very hard to get this chapter out on time.  I was working under a slight…  

ASN: …Handicap.  

AN: Handicap nothing!  You broke my arm!!!

ASN: You asked for it, what with the comments in the last chapter.  

AN: You didn't have to _incapacitate_ me!  

ASN: And I'm certain after the readers realize how short this chapter is, they'll assist me in breaking your other arm.  

**Chapter 30  Fathers**

Artemis Sr. ushered his son up the stairs, and for one second, Artemis Jr. thought he was being taken to his study.  The room with Holly in it.  _That_ would bring questions the teen was not ready to answer.  Luckily, Artemis Sr. brought him to his own study.  

"Artemis, as much as I wished for a happy answer like the one you fed your mother, I would prefer the truth."  Artemis Sr. sat down behind his desk.  "Where were you?"  

Artemis Jr. had _no_ idea how to answer that question.  He studied his father blankly, who sighed.  

"Angeline was listening to your story.  _I_ was watching your face.  You seemed much too nervous to have just been over at a friend's house.  While your mother may have passed that off as hormones, I believe that you were involved in something less than legal, and that somehow or other Simone found out.  After all," and he smiled slightly, "I'm fairly certain you would not let Simone follow you to a friend's house without a fight."  

Artemis Jr. nodded.  "I did not go to Holly's house.  However, I did meet Holly, as did Simone, Juliet and Butler.  You may ask any of them.  And I was not lying when I said Simone and Holly did not get along.  It's quite possible Simone would not want to answer any questions you ask."  

"And why did you meet Holly?" Artemis Sr. asked.  While he trusted his son, he still wasn't sure what the young teen did behind his father's back. 

"Holly…works for a government agency, Father.  I did tell you she was a little too old for me, after all."  

"So there's no school project?" Artemis Sr. asked, smiling slightly.  His son, help a government employee?

"No.  She and her superiors needed my technological expertise for a…rescue attempt."  Artemis Jr. sighed inwardly.  He doubted his father would believe this, but it was the only thing he could think of.  Sometimes it was better to tell the truth.  Especially when the truth sounded as believable as meeting a leprechaun and taking their gold. 

The comparison brought a small smirk to the teen's face.  

"A rescue attempt?" Artemis Sr. repeated.  

"Yes.  Juliet and Butler insisted on coming with me, and Simone ended up finding out.  We had to bring her along as well.  However, she was sworn to secrecy about Holly, and the agency she works for.  I shouldn't even be telling you, but I know you can be trusted."  

Artemis Sr. wasn't sure whether to be pleased or suspicious.  He decided to settle for more questions.  

"So how did the rescue go?" 

"We retrieved the el-, excuse me, the corporal, successfully.  He is perfectly safe, and Holly is making sure everyone's affairs are in order before she returns to her country."  

"I see."  There was a pause, and Artemis Jr. felt a sense of foreboding.  "Can I meet this Holly?" his father asked.  

"No, Father." Artemis responded immediately.  "She insists that as few as possible people are in contact with her.  If you should meet her, you would endanger her and her People."  His father didn't notice the slight emphasis on the word 'people.' 

"And Butler and Juliet can attest to this completely?"  

"Yes, sir.  They may try to avoid the topic at first, since it is top secret, but if you assure them you know about it, they will tell you."  

"I see." his father repeated.  "All right, Artemis, thank you for confiding in me.  I can also ask Simone about this?"  

"I would not suggest it." 

"Hmm."  His father's brow furrowed.  "She really didn't get along with this Holly, then?"  

            Artemis almost told his father about Holly slapping the French girl, but decided it would not help.  "No, they did not.  In fact, Simone mentioned something about blocking out the whole episode."  

"Well, then, I won't bother her."  Artemis Sr. stood, signaling the end of the conversation.  "Again, thank you for telling me, Artemis.  I would have hated for you to be involved in something illegal and be caught by Simone."  He smiled at his son.  "After all, I can't have my only heir in prison."  

"I understand."  Artemis walked to the door, but stopped right before leaving.  "However, Father, you do know that if I _had_ been involved in something illegal, I would not have gotten caught."    

Artemis Sr. stared at his son for a moment, then decided to pretend that he was certain the teen was joking.  "Of course, son."  he said lightly, waving him out the door.  "Now, go talk to your mother for a minute or two.  I need to get these papers in order before Mr. Badeau arrives."  

The doorbell rang.  

*******************

AN: Yeah, okay, this is really, _really_ short, and I'm sorry.  It was just a good place to end.  So don't hurt me.  

ASN: Why ever not?  

AN: If you kill me, I'll come back and haunt you.  And I'll delete the story from all the computers, so the readers never learn how it ends.  And it would be all…your…fault.  

ASN: *Stares*  Lessa, go to bed.   

AN: Does this mean you're not mad anymore?  

ASN: Not at the moment.  

AN: …

**"Artemis, why don't you run upstairs and tell Simone her father's here?" Angeline suggested.  **

****************

**Artemis walked over and gently touched Simone's arm.  She moved away, then settled back down.  "She seems to be soundly asleep.  What did Foaly do to her to insure she would sleep for so long?"  **

**"Trade secret." Holly muttered.  She gingerly went forward and poked the sleeping girl.  Simone just stayed where she was, and kept dreaming.  **

**"This isn't good." the elf pronounced.  "She's out like a light.  I have no idea when she'll wake."**

AN: Sorry.  I couldn't find a really good part to put as a preview.  That's the best I could come up with.  

ASN: That's okay.  They can try to puzzle out how to wake Simone while waiting for the next chapter.  

AN: And no, before any of you ask, we can't just shoot her and hope her dad will go away!!

ASN: Although if you all send us enough money…


	31. Fathers, Part Two

ASN: Greetings and hallucinations, all.  We're back, with a chapter that is slightly longer than the last.  

AN: But not by much.

**Chapter 31   Fathers, Part two**

Antoine Badeau strolled into the infamous Fowl Manor as if he had a search warrant in his hand. 

"Hello, miss." he said graciously to the teenage girl who had opened the door.  "Are you employed here?"  

The girl glared at him.  Though she was dressed in the casual fashion of one her age, she seemed to radiate a sense of perpetual danger.  "Sort of.  I'm Juliet Butler."  

Badeau froze.  A Butler.  He had heard about the Butlers; they were the amazing bodyguards of the Fowls.  Quiet, professional, and deadly.  And this one was obviously in a bad mood.  

"Nice to meet you, Miss Butler." he said, belatedly turning on the charm.  

"Uh-huh."  Juliet seemed unimpressed.  "Since you've invited yourself in, please, have a seat in the living room.  The Fowls will be in shortly."  

Badeau refused to be intimidated by a teenage girl.  Well, he refused to _show_ that he was intimidated by a teenage girl.  "Thank you, miss."  He sat down, eying the decorations and statues.  He also studied the pictures on the walls.  It was quite possible they were fake.  After all, the young Fowl was rumored to be an artist.  

"You must be Inspector Badeau." a voice interrupted.  "Welcome to Fowl Manor.  I am Artemis Fowl Senior."  A tall man with black hair and a slight limp shook the inspector's hand.  His face was still slightly scarred from his imprisonment in the Arctic.  The man seemed much too weather beaten to be a rich businessman, and certainly too kind to be a suspected criminal.  

"This is my wife, Angeline."  A graceful looking, slim woman with light brown hair was standing behind Fowl Sr.  She smiled demurely and held out a manicured hand.  

"Hello, Inspector." she said warmly.

"And this is my son, Artemis Junior."  Fowl Sr. introduced as a teenage boy whose raven hair contrasted sharply with his pallor came down the stairs.  

This Fowl was more along the lines of what Badeau had imagined.  While the parents were warm, welcoming, and radiating hospitality, Artemis Jr. was distinctively cooler, more distant, and definitely warier.  

"Inspector." he said formally.  Badeau smiled, and Artemis realized who Simone had inherited her all-knowing and slightly condescending manner from.  

"I've heard a lot about you, son." Badeau said as he shook the teen's hand firmly.  Quite firmly.  

"I'm quite sure you have.  However, it is wise not to believe everything you hear."  

Badeau laughed.  "Quite right, young Fowl." he said.  "And I'm sure some of what I'm heard is false.  And exaggerated."  

The unsaid part of the Inspector's sentence '_…but not all_' hung in the air awkwardly until Angeline broke the silence with a small cough.  

"Artemis, why don't you run upstairs and tell Simone her father's here?" she suggested.  

Artemis didn't say anything; he just turned and disappeared up the stairs.  Angeline resisted the urge to sigh, then motioned to Badeau.  "Inspector, this way, please."  

"Oh, call me Antoine." Badeau purred.  "After all, you're taking care of my daughter ever so graciously.  There's no need for formalities."  

Artemis just sighed as he continued up the steps.  He knocked once on Simone's door.  

"Simone?" he called quietly.  "Your father has arrived."  There was no answer.  The teen frowned.  "Simone?" he said again, a little louder.  

Nothing.  

He took a deep breath and opened the door.  Simone was still fast asleep.  "Laissez moi seule!" she murmured, rolling over and swiping at her forehead.  After a moment, she snuggled back into the covers.  

"Leave me alone." Holly said into Artemis's ear.  Artemis refused to jump or show any sort of surprise.  He wouldn't give Holly the amusement.

"What?" 

"That's what she said.  'Leave me alone.'"  The elf grinned.  "Do you think she's having nightmares?"  

"I wouldn't know.  Why are you in here?"  

"I heard you knocking.  Is it possible to wake her up?"

Artemis walked over and gently touched Simone's arm.  She moved away, then settled back down.  "No.  She seems to be soundly asleep.  What did Foaly do to her to ensure she would sleep for so long?"  

"Trade secret." Holly muttered.  She gingerly went forward and poked the sleeping girl.  Simone just stayed where she was, and kept dreaming.  

"This isn't good." the elf pronounced.  "She's out like a light.  I have no idea when she'll wake."

"Can you get in contact with Foaly?" Artemis asked.  "If you are able to, he might know a way to wake her."  

Holly fiddled with her helmet comm system.  "Foaly?  Foaly?"  She listened for a moment, then frowned ferociously.  "I know you're there, you stupid centaur, come in!"  

A distinctly ruffled voice clicked on.  "What, Holly?  I'm in the middle of an important conversation."  

"If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times!  Once a convict, _always_ a convict, dwarf!"

"Just because I _was_ a criminal doesn't mean I'm a bad person, Julius!"  

"DON'T CALL ME JULIUS!!!"  

"Okay," Foaly admitted, "I'm in the middle of _eavesdropping_ on an important conversation."  

"Simone's father arrived, he wants to talk to his daughter, and she won't wake up.  Fix it." Holly commanded.  

"Ma'am, yes, ma'am." Foaly groused.  "Do you have any magic left?"  

"A little." Holly said as she held out her hands, and grimaced.  The sparks were much paler than usual.  

"Well, if you can, send a bit of your magic into Simone." 

"Why?!"  

"The shock will wake her up." Foaly explained sensibly.  "After all, a lingering effects from the mindwipe might be a reason she's sleeping so much.  If her body's trying to heal, it will help if she gets a little bit of magic in her."  

"And if I want her to suffer?" Holly growled, laying both hands on the girl's arm.  She shielded first, then Artemis watched as light blue sparks traveled down Simone's arm.  

Simone's eyes snapped open and they focused on Artemis.  She didn't notice the sparks, which disappeared the second she sat up.  

Artemis saw the look of shock, then of fury in the French girl's eyes, and frowned.  Suddenly, her fist was flying through the air, headed straight for Artemis's jaw.  

The boy ducked.  

"What are you doing in here?!" Simone demanded, not at all pleased she had missed him.  "And what did you do to me?"  

"I was trying to get to you to wake." Artemis replied, a little icily.  "Your farther is here."  

Simone glared at him and stood.  She grabbed a brush off her dresser.  "Why didn't you knock?" she asked, combing out her tangled hair.  "Were you looking for an excuse to come in and snoop?"  

"I did knock." Artemis said calmly.  "You did nothing." 

"Oh."  

Artemis studied the girl for a moment and then turned.  "He's downstairs in the drawing room."  

"Did you like my father?" Simone asked sweetly.  

Artemis spared her one glance over his shoulder.  "What do you think?"  He left, and Simone sighed.  

"I don't know what to think anymore." she muttered softly.  "You seem too perfect, Fowl.  What are you hiding?"  

**********************

AN: You know what I noticed.  The reviewers keep trying to kill me.  

ASN: *Evil grin* Oh, really?  No, I hadn't noticed.  

AN: Uh-huh.  

ASN: By the way, in the last chapter, Lessa exaggerated just a tad.  Her arm is _not_ broken.  

AN: Bruised beyond recognition, yes, but not broken.  

ASN: *Glares* You know where liars go, don't you?  

AN: *Bright smile*  Washington.

**Badeau left with Simone, and pulled her into a corner in the hall.  "What do you mean by 'homesick', dear?" he asked.  **

**"I mean, I'd like to come home because I can't find anything about them." she answered, a little irritated.  "I've tried being nice; I've tried sneaking around; about all I haven't done is offered to help them plan out a crime!"  **

**"So," Badeau was floored, "You're telling me that they have _no_ incriminating documents _anywhere_?"**

**"They are completely and utterly clean." Simone said.  "About the only thing wrong is Arty."**

**"What about him?"  **

**"He's a jerk."  **

**Badeau opened his mouth to say something, but thought better of it.  "Ah."  **

AN: In case reviewers can't tell by now, we are NOT going to have Simone and Arty fall in love.  

ASN: *Goes green at the thought*  

AN: …I have nothing else to say.  

ASN: That's never stopped you before.  

AN: Grr.  Anyway, before I was interrupted, we will… we really really need a way to end these notes.  

ASN: I'll think about it.  

AN: You do that.  I'll freak about my Trig.

ASN: *Grins* You do that. 

AN: *Glares*  Till next time, all.    


	32. Au Revoir

AN: Sorry about the late update.  I had a friend over for the past day or two, and it's gotten pretty hectic.  Our microwave died.  

ASN: So they've been lugging a 60 pound piece of machinery around, and I've been safely at _my_ house!

AN: Braggart.  

**Chapter 32  Au Revoir **

Simone came down the stairs with a silent wraith, but her reunion with her father was anything but silent.  

"Daddy!" she called delightedly as she ran to him.  She shamelessly flung her arms around him.  "I've missed you so."  

"I've missed you too, darling." he said.  At the word _darling_, his daughter frowned in thought.  She had heard someone call her darling a lot lately…but who?  

"How has everything been?" Badeau pressed.  "Are you happy?"  

"Well, the Fowls have been very nice to me." Simone said, giving Artemis Sr. and Angeline a wide smile.  She very obviously ignored Artemis Jr.  He didn't care.  

"But…I'm sort of homesick." she admitted.  Badeau gave a nod of understanding.  

"If it's all right with you two, I'd like to talk to Simone alone.  We'll see how she's feeling." he said, standing up.  "After all, I wouldn't want to force her to stay if she's uncomfortable."  

Artemis Sr. smiled indulgently.  "Of course.  Take your time."  

Badeau left with Simone, and pulled her into a corner in the hall.  "What do you mean by 'homesick', dear?" he asked.  

"I mean, I'd like to come home because I can't find anything about them." she answered, a little irritated.  "I've tried being nice; I've tried sneaking around; about all I haven't done is offered to help them plan out a crime!"  

"So," Badeau was floored, "You're telling me that they have _no_ incriminating documents _anywhere_?"

"They are completely and utterly clean." Simone said.  "About the only thing wrong is Arty."

"What about him?"  

"He's a jerk."  

Badeau opened his mouth to say something, but thought better of it.  "Ah."  

"Are you sure I can't come home?" Simone begged, clasping her father's arm and looking at him innocently.  "I really miss you and Mother so much.  The Fowls aren't much of a replacement."  

After a moment of hesitation, Badeau spoke.  "You haven't been able to find anything?  At _all_?"  

Simone's shoulder slumped, and she scowled.  "No, Daddy.  Nothing.  At all.  I even went through Artemis's hard drive with our new hacking program, and found nothing.  By the way, it works very well; he didn't detect it."  A frown crossed her face.  But…he had found out about the program, hadn't he?

_"I used the hacking program you left at the manor to get the plans.  It's much safer to use the original blueprints, after all."_

Simone's frown deepened.  She could almost see the scene in her mind, but as she reached out to grab it, it faded into nothingness.  She shrugged mentally.  Must have been a dream.  A bad dream.  

"Anyway," she continued, "Everything I've gone through has been perfectly legitimate, and fairly boring."

Badeau was traumatized, though he worked hard not to show it.  "You mean, they _have_ gone straight?"

"I am truly, genuinely sorry to say it, as I would like nothing better than to throw Artemis in a juvenile detention center for the next five years, but yes, they seem to have gone straight."  Simone batted her eyelashes at her father, and then added her  pout.  "Please, Daddy, can I come home?  This is nothing but a waste of time.  Besides, I don't like Ireland.  It's too green, and not enough city."  

Badeau studied his little girl.  Simone looked up at her father, hope brimming in those huge brown eyes.  The final touch.  "Please, Dad?" 

He knew he was being manipulated, but he didn't really care.  "Okay, sweetie.  I'll take you home with me today."  

"Yeah!" Simone hugged her father happily.  "Thank you, thank you, thank you!"  Badeau raised an eyebrow at the emotional display.  

"You really don't like him, do you?"  

"Nope."  Simone released him.  "What are you going to tell the Fowls?"  

Badeau just walked back into the parlor and saw the elder Fowls deep in discussion with the younger.  

"You could have just told me she was a colleague, Artemis." Angeline said a little crossly, "You _encouraged_ the idea that she was your girlfriend!"

The Artemis in question looked distinctly peeved.  "I did nothing of the sort, Mother." As much as Badeau hated to interrupt, he coughed slightly.  The three looked up.  Artemis looked faintly relieved, which was the first human expression Badeau had seen him make all day.  

"Artemis Sr., Angeline," he began, "Simone seems very homesick.  It's not any reflection on you, but she would like to return to Paris.  Besides, my wife misses her terribly."  

"Yes," Artemis Sr. said as he placed an arm around Angeline's shoulders, "And we know how important it is to please your wife."  The smile he gave Badeau informed the Inspector that Fowl Sr. knew exactly why Simone was leaving.   "However, should Simone ever decide to come back…" 

Angeline gave the girl a hug.  "We'll always have room at the Manor for you, dear."  

"I know." she said, hugging Angeline back.  "Thank you for everything."

"Dear," Badeau said, "Would it be better if I just came and picked you up in the morning?  After all, you have quite a bit to pack."  

"No, it won't take that long." Simone said, heading for the stairs.  

"I'm certain Juliet and Artemis would be happy to help." Angeline said with a significant look at her son.  He didn't move from the couch.  

"No, I've got it, thanks." Simone called back down.  Angeline turned to Badeau.  

"Well, then, will you stay for dinner?" she asked.  "If I know anything about girls, it'll take Simone at least an hour."  

"That's sounds wonderful.  In the meantime, I was wondering what you've gotten into, Artemis, now that you've escaped the Mafiya.  I assume it's nothing to do with cola."   

Artemis Sr. nodded.  "No, I've decided to become more visible in my business ventures, and to leave Russia out of them.  I've actually formed a currency trading partnership with a few men from Paris.  Very high placed, upstanding, respected gentlemen.  Perhaps you know them?"  

By this point, Artemis Jr. decided to leave before his mother could corner him and before Badeau started asking uncomfortable questions.  He headed up the stairs to his room.  Holly met him at the top.  

"She's leaving?" she asked quietly.  He nodded.  "Talk about a stroke of luck."  

"Yes." Artemis paused for a moment, then headed down the hallway.  Past his room.  

"Uh, Arty?"

"Don't call me Arty."  

"Right.  Fowl, your room is _that_ way."  

"Congratulations, Captain, you've been here long enough that you can finally find your way around."  He continued walking.  Holly followed.  

"You know, you should be a little happier.  After all, Simone is leaving."  An evil grin spread across the elf's face.  "Unless you don't _want_ her to leave."  

Artemis's shoulders stiffened.  "Captain…"

Holly decided that line of conversation was getting a little too dangerous, and changed the subject.  "The way you ducked Simone's swing earlier was pretty impressive for a weak Mud Boy like yourself." 

Artemis glanced at her impassively.  "I'm beginning to recognize the look." he said dryly.  

"Are you telling me I look like the Mud Maid?!" Holly said, quite offended.  Artemis smirked.  

"Only when you're angry."  

Holly's eyes darkened.  "Oh, really?  And tell me, what do I look like now??"  

"You look like you need to perform the Ritual." Artemis responded.  "Your skin's becoming transparent."    

The Mud Boy did have a point.  "You can be such a pain sometimes."  she said huffily as she readied her wings to zoom out the hall window.  

"So everyone keeps telling me." Artemis replied as he stopped in front of a door.  

*************

AN: I know it stops abruptly, but it's hard to cut it up, and I'm a little frazzled.  

ASN: We got our first flame today.  

AN: Whoever it was sent it to my email address, so it wasn't a review all of you can read.  But it threw me for a loop, I can tell you.  

ASN: I thought you were supposed to give suggestions on how to improve the reader's work, not insult them and fanfic writers in general.  

AN: She complained about how we are stealing Colfer's ideas, and how we should be original.  It was actually fairly immature, but it was still a little hurtful.  Sorry, I didn't mean to dump all that on you guys.  

ASN: But, that's why we have no funny jokes and cracks today.  Sorry to disappoint, but we just aren't in the mood.  

**"I read through your entire hard drive." Simone bragged.  Her grin widened as she saw Artemis start.  "Your security system was very easy to get through, though I don't know why anyone would bother protecting such boring documents."  **

**"My…entire hard drive?" he repeated, his frown deepening.  **

**"Yes, your _entire_ hard drive.  And your father's.  There was no evidence of illegal activities anywhere.  It was very unsatisfactory.  I was _so_ looking forward to matching wits with the infamous Fowls.  But instead it appears you really have gone legitimate.  How very disappointing."**


	33. Chapter 33

AN: Hello, everyone.  You've all been so kind with reviews and everything, I decided out of the goodness of my heart to post another one early.  

ASN: Plus, she owed you one from Sunday.  

AN: Shh!  

**Chapter 33**

_"So everyone keeps telling me." Artemis replied as he stopped in front of a door. _

 Holly paused.  "Isn't that Simone's room?"  

He knocked, then glanced at the elf.  "You will probably want to leave, or shield."  She gave him a glare, but quickly switched on her shield as the door opened.

"What do you want?" Simone asked nastily.

Artemis leaned against the doorframe.  "I want to know the real reason why you're leaving.  I'm fairly certain it's not because you're homesick."  

"Two reasons." she said as she returned to packing.  "Number one:  If you all are doing something illegal, you've hidden it so well even the best of Interpol's hacking programs can't find it."  She smiled as Artemis frowned.  

"Hacking program?" 

"Yes, I read through your entire hard drive." Simone bragged.  Her grin widened as she saw Artemis start.  "Your security system was very easy to get through, though I don't know why anyone would bother protecting such boring documents."  

"My…entire hard drive?" he repeated, his frown deepening.  

"Yes, your _entire hard drive.  And your father's.  There was no evidence of illegal activities anywhere.  It was very unsatisfactory.  I was _so_ looking forward to matching wits with the infamous Fowls.  But instead it appears you really have gone legitimate.  How very disappointing."_

"I'm _so sorry I did not live down to your expectations." Artemis replied.  "And the second reason?" _

Simone walked right up to him, but the teen didn't flinch or move back.  He'd seen scarier things than an angry French girl.  "The second reason I told you when we first met.  I don't like you.  _Or_ your little…friends…"  He voice trailed off as a look of confusion crossed her face.   Artemis heard Holly's quick intake of breath.  

"I have no friends, Simone." he said calmly, turning the girl's attention back to him.  

"And now I know why." Simone snapped, then slammed the door in his face.  Holly sighed deeply as Artemis just turned to go back down the hall.  

"I'm glad she's leaving.  You're going to trigger a total recall of her memories if you keep annoying her like that."  

He ignored her last sentence.  "I need to talk to Foaly."  

"What?  Why?"

"I have a question for him."  

Holly studied the Mud Boy, but when he didn't provide anymore information, she sighed.  "Okay.  Here."  She went into his study, and connected her helmet to one of the computers.  A minute later, Foaly pooped up on the screen.  

"What now, Holly?" he asked.  

"Did you do anything to Simone's memory when you mindwiped her?" Artemis asked right off the bat.  Foaly frowned, then pasted a hurt look in his face.  

"Me, mess with an innocent Mud Maid's mind?  Artemis, I'm so hurt.  How could you accuse me of such a thing?"  

"Simone is not what I would refer to as 'innocent.'" Artemis replied.  

"I'll agree with that." Foaly answered.  When he didn't say anything else, Artemis raised an eyebrow.  

"Well?"  

"All right." Foaly admitted.  "I _might have planted a suggestion that she couldn't find anything incriminating and that she should go home.  Are you complaining?"  _

"No.  But…" Artemis looked a little confused.  "Why would you do something like that?  The human brain makes up its own memories to fill the blank."  

"Well,"  Foaly leaned back in his chair,  "You see, it would be better to get Simone out of Fowl Manor as fast as possible.  There are many things around the manor, like you and your personality, that might cause a recall.  So, if she disappears off to Paris, we won't have to worry about that possibility.  And…"  he paused.  

"And…?" Holly prompted.

"And…Julius is refusing to pay either you or Mulch, but I figured you deserved _something for services rendered, and that's all I could think of."  Foaly shrugged, and avoided looking at Artemis.  "Holly and Julius would have died if you hadn't been there."  _

Artemis didn't say anything.  He just stared at the floor for a little while, thinking.  Finally Foaly broke the silence.  

"So, what are you going to do while the Council talks?" he asked.  When Artemis looked up sharply, he realized it was a bad idea to broach that subject.  "Um, I mean…"  

"I'm going to try and come up with a few emergency plans to implement should the Council decide to mindwipe us." Artemis said smoothly.  Foaly looked surprised, while Holly frowned.  

"And why do you think I'm here, Fowl?" she demanded.  "I have to keep an eye on you, after all."  

"Really." Artemis said, raising an eyebrow.  

"Yes, really." Holly was unamused.    
            "Holly," Foaly interrupted, "I hate to break this up, but you sort of need to perform the Ritual.  The full moon is tonight, and it's just rising.  You're going to have to hurry if you want to catch it."  

Holly opened her mouth, then closed it.  She fumed for a moment.  "I can wait a month, Foaly."  

"No, you can't!" a voice suddenly blared.  Holly winced as Root's red face appeared on the screen.  "You will go, and you will go _now_!!"  

"Sir," Holly protested, "I have to keep an eye on Fowl.  If I'm gone and he comes up with a plan, I won't be able to stop him."  

Artemis decided to speak up.  Holly looked too pale for comfort.  She did need the Ritual. "What if I promise you I won't do anything the Council would disapprove of while you're gone?" he asked.  

Holly glared at him.  "Then I'd make sure to get out of the way so the lightning didn't fry me too." 

Foaly sighed.  "Come on, Holly, it'll take an hour or two at most.  Besides-"

"Besides," Butler's voice rang out suddenly, "Artemis needs to come downstairs and have dinner.  He'll be sufficiently occupied while you're gone."  

Both Artemis and Holly spun to see Butler standing in the doorway.  "Go ahead, Captain.  If I must, I'll watch him."  

Holly stared at the bodyguard for a moment, then smiled softly.  "I'll hold you to that promise, Butler." she said.  She fired up her wings.  "Open the window, Mud Boy."  

Artemis, looking slightly disgruntled, opened the window.  With a quiet buzz, Holly flew outside.  

"I'll be back, Arty." she called.  

"I look forward to it." he muttered sarcastically.  She laughed.  

AN: Thank you again for all the reviews.  It was very encouraging, all of you.  

ASN: It's nice to know you guys think so highly of us.  

AN: Again-

ASN: -Because we can't say it enough-

AN: Thank you, thank you, thank you!

**"So, Artemis, I hear you are quite an artist." Badeau started, smiling a little too brightly at the teen. **

**"I do paint, Inspector, but I have very little talent." Artemis said shortly.**

**Badeau smiled again, moving in for the kill.  "So what do you paint?  Still life?  Portraits?  Modern?  Classical?  Renaissance?"**

**Artemis looked up.  "I paint whatever I can get my hands on." he said calmly.  "I have experimented in many genres."**

**Badeau looked hard at the boy.  "And what genre would copies of famous masterpieces be under?"**

ASN: Arty's in trouble…

AN: How will he maneuver out of it?  Stay tuned for our next installment!

AN: Oh, BTW, I just got an AIM screenname.  It is soleta216.  So, should any of you been wandering around and see that name, come talk to me!  I'll be glad to talk back.

ASN: Okay, now we're really leaving.  

AN: Chow!


	34. Chapter 34

ASN:  Hi, it's me!  Lessa is not here right now-

AN:  Well, actually she is, but she shouldn't be…

ASN: *continues blithely* Because she is freaking out about her ACT test.  Which is tomorrow.

AN:  I haven't really studied! *insane laughter*

ASN:  *pause*  Right.  Anyway, here the new chapter…

**Chapter 34**

Dinner was long and tedious; it consisted of an entire hour filled with veiled comments and witty responses.  About halfway through, Angeline gave up trying to encourage pleasant conversation and let her husband and Mr. Badeau have at one another.  

"So, how long have you been trying your hand at currency trading?" Badeau pressed.  "I know that earlier you were occupied with…other enterprises."  

"Oh," Artemis Sr. responded, "I've been dealing in currency for a while now."  

Angeline would sigh, Simone would frown, and Artemis Jr. just tried to stay out of the conversation.  It didn't always work.  

"So, Artemis, I hear you are quite an artist." Badeau started, smiling a little too brightly at the teen. 

"I do paint, Inspector, but I have very little talent." Artemis said shortly.

Badeau smiled again, moving in for the kill.  "So what do you paint?  Still life?  Portraits?  Modern?  Classical?  Renaissance?"

Artemis looked up.  "I paint whatever I can get my hands on." he said calmly.  "I have experimented in many genres."

Badeau looked hard at the boy.  "And what genre would copies of famous masterpieces be under?"

"That is not a genre, sir, copying is a study.  An exercise of skill and technique."

"And do you 'exercise' often?" Badeau asked.

"An artist does not simply pick up a pen or brush and create.  Study and practice are necessary in art as in any other pastime." Artemis said firmly.

Badeau, for once, wasn't quite sure how to continue.  It was hard to catch someone in a lie when he was telling the truth...just not all of it.

Angeline smoothly changed the subject by asking Juliet to serve dessert.  Artemis picked at his torte, wishfully hoping that Badeau was finished with his polite interrogation.

"So, you were the head of the family while your father was imprisoned and your mother was...indisposed, is that correct?" the inspector asked with genuine curiosity.

Artemis scowled slightly as he gave the cake a last, violent jab and looked up.  "Yes, that is true." the teen said shortly.

The Inspector smiled.  "Well, it looks like you did a pretty good job, doesn't it?"  Everyone was riveted on Badeau, including Juliet and Butler standing by the door.  The inspector's grin widened.  "After all, the Fowl fortune managed to regain its billionaire status within a year after the Murmansk business.  That's quite a feat for a boy of twelve."

Artemis continued to look at him impassively, but there was a new look in the boy's eyes.  Wariness, and maybe even a slight dread?  Badeau managed to repress the gleeful grin that threatened to jump to his face.  The kid WAS hiding something.

"And, perhaps the most intriguing incident of all," the Inspector continued softly, "Was when the Fowl Swiss vaults received a sudden, mysterious arrival of a half ton of-"

He was cut off by the sound of something smashing in the kitchen.  The Butlers, who had been listening quite apprehensively to the conversation, disappeared into the kitchen with deadly silence.  The five continued to sit silently around the dinner table, waiting tensely for the report.

Juliet came back in with a loose-limbed grace.  "It's nothing.  I left a window open in the kitchen and it blew something over." she announced, watching them relax slightly.  She moved closer to the Fowls at one end of the long table.  "Butler's going to make a quick check of the grounds just to be sure." she whispered.  The adults nodded, but Artemis frowned slightly as suspicion rose in his mind.  If something was wrong, then _Juliet_ would be the one checking, now that Butler was older.  That meant that they knew exactly what had caused the crash.  His eyes narrowed.

"Well, that was exciting." Angeline said with a smile as she rose from the table.  "Juliet, would you mind getting Simone's bags and bringing them down?  Go help her, Artemis." she ordered rather than suggested.

Artemis usually would have resented being ordered, but such was his relief at escaping the conversation that he followed Juliet without a word.  His father took special note of _that_ little fact.

"Simone, dear, we've so enjoyed having you here." Angeline continued, sweeping the girl into an embrace.  The girl returned it with genuine feeling as they walked towards the front door.

Badeau knew he had been outmaneuvered as he saw Butler pull up with his rental car and leave the motor running.  He turned to smile artificially at Fowl Sr. as Artemis and the girl came down the stairs carrying his daughter's luggage.  "Thank you for watching my daughter.  It's been...informative."

Artemis Fowl Sr. smiled back at the inspector.  "We enjoyed having her.  I'm only sorry that you two wasted your time."

Badeau, who had been walking down the stone steps, flinched at that last remark and half-turned.  "Until we meet again." he said with a look in his eyes that contradicted the polite smile he wore.  He opened the car door for his daughter, then looked back up at the Fowls standing in the front door.

Fowl Sr. put his hand on his son's shoulder, matching the Frenchman glare for glare.  "I look forward to it."

Artemis allowed himself a small sigh of relief as he watched the taillights of Badeau's car disappear into the dark.  His father, his hand still on the boy's shoulder, steered him back inside.  Angeline and Juliet walked off together towards the dining room.  Artemis started to head upstairs to confront an interfering fairy when he realized his father's hand still lay heavily on his shoulder.  He looked up.  His father was gazing down on him with a dreading suspicion.

"A half ton of what?" he asked.

Artemis froze, his mind racing.  "What?" he asked, mentally kicking himself for such an asinine remark.

Artemis Sr. sighed deeply.  "I never asked about how the finances had changed." he said softly, talking to himself.  "I never asked how the fortune had been restored so quickly."  His gaze fell once again on his son, who was even paler than usual.  "How did they?"

Artemis could not meet his father's eyes and looked instead at the polished wooden floor.

"Was it legal?" Artemis Sr. asked.  Artemis took a deep breath and looked back up at his father.

"Most of it."

His father's voice got even lower.  "Would I have...approved?"

Artemis unaccountably found himself staring at the floor again.

_"My father, though some of his ventures were undoubtedly illegal, was…is…a noble man.  The idea of harming another creature would be repugnant to him."  _

_"So, what happened to you?"_

"I...I made a mistake." Artemis found himself repeating.

His father said nothing, but when Artemis looked back into his eyes, he saw the disappointment there.

"A mistake." Artemis Sr. repeated.  Artemis nodded, keeping his gaze on his father.

"It's not going to happen again." His father said rather than asked.  Artemis winced at the thought of Holly's reaction.

"No, it will never happen again." he assured his father, jaw aching in memory.

"Good.  I don't like sparring with suspicious Interpol inspectors over dinner.  Ruins the digestion." His father said, more lightly, and removed his hand from the teen's shoulder.  Artemis nodded and moved towards the stairs.  His father's light cough stopped him.

"A half a ton of what, Artemis?" he asked again.  Curiously.

Artemis turned to his father, face carefully impassive.

"Gold." he said softly, and continued up the stairs a little more quickly than usual.

Artemis Sr. stared up at his retreating son and sighed deeply.

"He never does anything by halves, does he?" he asked the world wearily.

"No."  Angeline emerged from the next room and stood next to him, watching Artemis go.  "That's why he reminds everyone so much of you."

AN:  Aren't we good?  Say we're good!

ASN:  Modest, no.  But good.  I think.

AN:  Modest?  We Neptunians know nothing of modest.

ASN:  Riiiiiiiight.  Anyway, go to bed.  You have to get up early.

AN:  At 8 in the morning.  Why do they do these tests so early.  They KNOW no one is awake and functional at… at..

ASN:  *helpfully* O dark hundred?  As opposed to 0800?

AN:  *blank stare*

ASN:  I was trying to make you laugh.

AN:  *blank stare*

ASN:  Oh go to bed.

**Artemis felt his usual smirk slide onto his face.  True, things could be better, but…Simone had left, and his father was probably going to ignore his activities for a while, which meant he could finally get some work done without anyone prying into his business.  He opened the door to his study and stopped.**

**There was an elf going through his computer files.  **

ASN:  Well, people, the story is winding down.  

AN:  We counted it all out, and there are only 4 CHAPTERS LEFT!!!

ASN:  And all the readers burst into tears.

AN:  *grins*  And start sending in ideas for sequels.  

ASN:  Uh, no.  Wait until the fifth book comes out.  I mean, what's left?

AN:  We could do an A/H…

ASN:  *screams loud and LONG*  

AN:  Or not.    


	35. Chapter 35

AN: A short chapter.  My apologizes, but that's the way it worked out.  

ASN: And when you finish this, Lessa's going to have more death threats than she can handle.  

**Chapter 35**

Artemis walked down the hall to his study, deep in thought.  His confrontation with his father had been less than satisfactory, and he was inwardly fuming over the fact that he'd actually told his father about the gold.  Artemis Sr. was bound to find out as soon as he thought of checking the Swiss vault records, of course, but...  Although, now that Artemis had actually told him what happened, or at least, the results of what had happened being a half-ton of gold, his father would probably dismiss it and move on.

Artemis felt his usual smirk slide onto his face.  True, things could be better, but…Simone had left, and his father was probably going to ignore his activities for a while, which meant he could finally get some work done without anyone prying into his business.  He opened the door to his study and stopped.

There was an elf going through his computer files.  

Artemis let the door slam shut behind him.  Holly looked up.  Of course, elf hearing being what it was, he was sure she heard him come in.

"Oh, Arty!" she said with false surprise.  "Come in."  

"Since it's my study, I think I shall." he answered sarcastically.  "What are you doing?"  

"Oh, just browsing.  Trying to find that copy of the Booke you mentioned."  She had a stack of CD-Rs next to her.  "Why?"  

"Haven't you meddled in enough of my affairs today?  It _was you who made that noise in the kitchen?"  _

"Of course it was.  The conversation was heading in a rather dangerous direction, and besides, that vase was ugly anyway."  

Artemis resisted to urge to roll his eyes.  "That vase was one of my mother's favorites."  

"She shouldn't have placed it in the kitchen.  It's a very dangerous place, you know." Holly quipped.  

"Perhaps.  But you usually don't have to worry about rampaging elves."  

Holly looked up and blinked innocently.  "Arty, what about your family is usual?"  

"Why are you here?" Artemis asked tiredly.  He had not been able to sleep for days, and the confrontations with Badeau and then his father had left him feeling weary and unable to deal with anymore unnecessary verbal sparring.  Holly leaned back in Artemis's chair and rested her feet on his desk.  

"I thought it would be obvious.  I have to wait until the Council decides what to do with you."  

"I didn't think you'd be waiting here." Artemis replied.  "After all, you wouldn't want to be contaminated by Mud People anymore than necessary."

"That's all right." Holly chirped, an evil smile blooming on her face.  "I've come to the personal conclusion that you're not human anyway."  

Artemis sighed deeply.  "What are you doing here?" he repeated.  

Holly sighed theatrically in return.  "I though we just went over that."  

"Captain…" the teen said ominously.  

Holly sat up and took her feet off his desktop.  "Uh-oh." she muttered.  

Artemis looked at Holly, his eyes wary and suspicious.  "You have been annoying me with all your strength for the last week and a half, and I want to know why."  

Holly smiled at him.  "I told you.  Payback."  

"I cannot possibly provide that much entertainment." Artemis said coolly.  

"Oh, you'd be surprised."  Holly quipped.  Artemis just stared at her.  After a moment of strained silence, she gave in.  "All right, Artemis.  Do you really want to know that badly?"  

He nodded.  Holly fidgeted slightly.  Either he would approve of her caution or become horribly offended.  She had a feeling she knew which.  The elf finally looked at the teen.  

"I wanted to be here in case you decided to betray the People with your new-found memories.  I had to monitor you."  

Artemis stared at her for a long moment.  "Why would I betray the People?  Did you think I wanted revenge for being mindwiped?"  

Holly didn't say a word.  

"You've accused me of some unspeakable things in the time we've known each other, Holly," Artemis said in a tone devoid of all emotion.  Holly dared to look at him and could not hold back a shiver.  Many things had happened to strain the boy's temper over the past week, but she had never seen Artemis as coldly furious as he was now.  "But tell me truthfully, do you really think I would betray the People…and for such a petty reason?"  He paused and Holly could see past his mask, just for a second, and she knew how deeply her words had wounded him.  Then he said softly, 

"That hurts, Holly." 

Those three words threw Holly a double loop.  She began to stutter.  "I...I, well, we…I had to-"  Artemis just looked at her.  The elf pulled herself together.  "I had to prove to the Council that you could be trusted.  I _had to watch you."_

Artemis shook his head.  "How can you expect the Council to trust me when even you don't trust me?" he asked softly and headed for the study door.  Holly followed him, looking up sharply at that statement and noticing something strange.  Artemis's eyes, which had just been so cold, were abnormally shiny.  Maybe…with unshed tears…?     

She gawked at him for a second.  Before she could say anything else, he shut the door in her face.

"I can't believe he thinks that." she breathed softly.  "I have to show him that he's wrong."  

"Whoa, whoa, _whoa!" Foaly interrupted over the communication system.  "I think you should let him cool down, Holly."_

"What were you doing listening to my conversation, anyway?"

"You are an LEP officer in hostile territory.  It's a safety precaution."  When Holly didn't respond, he sighed.  "All right, I was eavesdropping.  I was tired of listening to Mulch and Julius argue, so I thought I'd listen to you and the Mud Boy argue.  And you really shook him this time, Holly.  I mean, he's never shown so much emotion at once. I think he's _really_ mad.  You should leave alone; let him cool down.  Think about it."  

Holly thought about it.  Then Foaly heard the unmistakable sound of the communication system being switched off.  He sat back in his seat with a huff.  "Stupid elf."  

AN: Hee hee hee.   I can see all the looks of fury.  

ASN: And I can see the missiles headed our way.  Everyone, please keep in mind that if you kill us, we can't tell you what happened.  

AN: But here's a new piece to think about:

**Artemis studied her for a moment.  "Did you tell the Council anything about what happened before I had my memories returned?"  **

**Holly flushed, just a little.  "No."**

**"So, you lied about me being perfectly harmless?"  **

**"I didn't lie!" Holly snapped.  "I exaggerated a little."**

AN: You know, this chapter really is short.  Maybe I should update the next sooner.  

ASN: Maybe.  But that would just end the story faster.  

AN: True.  All you readers will just have to suffer.  


	36. Chapter 36

AN: This is so short it hardly deserves to be called a chapter.  

ASN: Oh, well.  It was a good stopping point.  

**Chapter 36**

Artemis headed up to his room, as livid as he had ever been.  In his fury, he probably wouldn't have noticed his parents if he had run over them, so it was good they weren't there.  

He opened the door to his room to find a slim elfin finger three inches from his face, pointing at his nose.  

"Don't you dare walk away from me like that!  _Especially_ when I wasn't done talking to you!"

"I am done talking to you." he replied.  "Go away."  

"No!  You are going to stand right there and listen to me if I have to stun you to do it!"  When Artemis didn't move, she relaxed a little.  

"All right.  You accused me of not trusting you.  Well, I'll tell you right now that you have absolutely no idea how much I trusted you this last week.  

"I came here after you regained your memories and I didn't tell a soul.  Not the Council, not my commander, not even Foaly.  Why?  Because I knew if they discovered you had your memories back, they might not stop at a full wipe.  At one point, the Council had been talking about whether or not they should just arrange for you to have an accident."  

Artemis was floored, though he didn't show it.  "They would kill me?" he asked.  

"Maybe not kill, but they'd definitely make it so anything you said would be dismissed as mindless babbling- _if_ you could talk at all."  

"And you think my morals have problems." Artemis muttered.  "So what happens now?  Am I still under a death threat?  What about the rest of my family?  The Butlers?  Will the Council 'get rid' of innocent bystanders as well?" 

"I'm not done yet." Holly snapped.  "The Council doesn't view you as a threat anymore since you've helped us so much.  But do you know how much I risked to be able to prove to them you wouldn't harm us?  Do you have _any idea?!  I was withholding dangerous information.  I risked my job, I risked my career, I risked being __exiled from Haven if the Council ever found out!"  She stopped, then continued in a softer tone.  "And I did it because I believed in you.  I believed in the Artemis you once were, before the mindwipe.  And I had to show all the others."  _

There was complete and total silence as Artemis stared at Holly.  She glared back, still angry.  After a moment, he got an odd look on his face and glanced at the floor.  To Holly's surprise, he seemed to be searching for something to say.  When he looked back up, all the confusion and surprise that had been in his eyes was gone.  

"You mentioned the Council?" he said emotionlessly.  Holly sighed inwardly.  Just like Artemis, to avoid any conversation that had to do with feelings.  

"I did.  They've decided that you had nothing to do with either Grub or Simone being kidnapped; you were just an innocent bystander."  Artemis raised an eyebrow, but she ignored him and continued.  "And since you offered your help in retrieving Grub and Simone without asking for any payment or compensation, they believe that it's perfectly safe to let you keep your memories."  She paused.  "Actually, they're still a little hesitant, but Root convinced them you wouldn't be of any danger.  After all, you saved his life and mine.  Twice."  

Artemis studied her for a moment.  "Did you tell them anything about before I had my memories returned?"  

Holly flushed, just a little.  "No."

"So, you lied about me being perfectly harmless?"  

"I didn't lie!" Holly snapped.  "I exaggerated a little.  Why, are you complaining?"  

"I'm not complaining, I'm confused.  Why?  Why would you try and save my memories when you ever you were able to completely remove my presence, my threat from the People?"

"You idiot, how many times do I have to tell you?  You're not a threat!"

"You're not answering the question." he snapped right back.

Big sigh.  She glanced at the teen, her emotions a mixture of lingering anger, honesty, and pity.  "Because… before the mindwipe, we were almost friends, and friends do that, take care of each other." Holly watched as the Mud Boy stared back at her, face unguarded and readable for a change.  He was obviously astonished.

"No one should have to go through life without a couple of friends."  She grinned, trying to lighten the mood.  "Even a conceited criminal like you." 

Holly could almost see the thoughts racing through Artemis's mind as he dropped his gaze to the floor.  He kept quiet.  Holly continued to hover at eye level.  Having extended a truce, she was uncertain what to do next.  Just as the silence became unbearable, Artemis spoke up softly, finally looking up at the elf.   

"Thank you, Holly." he said simply, and then proceeded to look anywhere except at the elf.  It was his turn not to know what to do next.  A motion caught his eye. 

Holly stuck out her hand.  Artemis stared at her and her hand, a closed expression on his face.  The elf sighed in irritation.  "I don't bite, Mud Boy."

Artemis Fowl Jr. hesitated, then took Captain Holly Short's outstretched hand.  They shook hands.  Not as two opponents in a temporary truce, but as colleagues.  Not as two rivals, respectfully acknowledging the other's abilities, but as equals.  

And as friends.

AN: And so, they are friends.  Not romantically involved, but friends.  

ASN: And we are _ever_ so glad it only went that far.  

**"**Butler******…I know you are my bodyguard, sworn to protect me until your death, but after the incident with Spiro, you changed.  Your body cannot keep up with the demand my activities place upon it.  This adventure with the fairies was fairly simple.  I-" he stopped, a shadow falling across his face, but quickly disappearing, "I trust Holly, and she kept an eye out for me.  However, if you had gone, it's quite possible something would have happened to you."  **

**"But something could have happened to _you!" **Butler**_**** protested.  **

**"I know.  But the fairies looked after me.  ****Butler****, you are not accustomed to being protected.  I am.  You would refused their help, and you could have been killed."  Haunted eyes bored into ****Butler**'s.  "I have already been responsible for your death once, my friend.  I didn't want it to happen again."  ****

ASN: That part was so sad to write.  It's not often Arty feels sorry for something  

AN: But you have to admit, Butler's death would weigh heavily upon anyone.  I know _I _cried like a baby when I read that part.  

ASN: And thank you for admitting it.  Talk about your blackmail.

AN: *Looks at readers* oh, come on!  I'm certain I wasn't the only one who bawled.  Right?

**Dead silence.**

AN: Right??


	37. Chapter 37

**Chapter 37**

**_**This chapter is dedicated to Mea (aka _****_title suggestions dwmc_**).  **_She came up with our title (sort of), and she deserves our gratitude.**_**

As Butler pulled the Bentley into the Manor's curved driveway, Artemis leaned back in his seat and closed his eyes.  The first day of school was always a nuisance, and a pounding headache from all the shouting in the halls only made it worse.  This new school was co-ed, and after hearing a few high-pitched female shrieks of excitement echoing down the halls, Artemis almost wished he was back at St. Bartleby's with the nosy counselors.  Almost.

Butler had kept silent the entire trip, the stormclouds on Artemis's face telling him that conversation would not be appreciated.  He dropped the teen off at the side kitchen door, and drove to the garage.

Artemis opened the door and walked into the kitchen, loosening the tie of his uniform.  Hopefully he could get upstairs before his parents spotted him and made him talk about his day.

"Arty!"

Too late.

"Mother, I'm really tired." he said as his mother came out of the sitting room, closely followed by his father.  "I will talk about school at dinner.  Is that all right?"

His mother stopped in front of him.  "Of course, Arty.  I just wanted to know how you liked your new school."  Her expression became a little more disapproving.  "Since we've already been through almost every other private school within driving distance."

Artemis sighed, feeling his headache increase a notch.  He rubbed the bridge of his nose.  "Yes, Mother."

Angeline sighed heavily and then hugged him.  "I hate it when you say that." she whispered affectionately.  "Go on upstairs.  Your father will be home soon.  Be prepared to tell us everything about your day by then."  

He nodded once and headed up the steps.  Upon reaching the top, he began toward his room, but was stopped by a hand on his shoulder.  It was Butler.  

"Artemis," he began hesitantly, "We need to speak."  

"What is it?" Artemis asked tonelessly, though he was cringing inside.  He had been waiting for this conversation.  

"I've been thinking over your reasons to leave me here while you helped the fairies underground, and I still believe there was another reason about why you went alone."  The bodyguard had been practicing this speech for a while.  "I want to know why."  

"Butler, this was not your fight." Artemis said.  "You had no obligation to help."  

"But I have to be able to watch you!" Butler insisted.  "Besides, it was the fairies' problem, not ours.  None of us _had to help."_

"I know, but I felt…responsible for Simone's kidnapping." Artemis admitted, looking at the carpet.  "I know it doesn't make much sense, but I do feel like we could have prevented it."  

"Artemis," Butler said a little sternly, "If anyone should feel responsible for what happened to Simone, it should be Juliet and me.  We are in charge of the safety of all who stay at Fowl Manor.  Whether we were fond of her or not, it was our duty to keep her protected."  He almost continued talking, but he decided to let Artemis reply.  

After a moment of silence, Artemis looked up at the first person he would ever consider a friend.  "Butler…I know you are my bodyguard, sworn to protect me until your death, but after the incident with Spiro, you changed.  Your body cannot keep up with the demand my activities place upon it.  This adventure with the fairies was fairly simple.  I-" he stopped, a shadow falling across his face, but quickly disappearing, "I trust Holly, and she kept an eye out for me.  However, if you had gone, it's quite possible something would have happened to you."  

"But something could have happened to _you_!" Butler protested.  

"I know.  But the fairies looked after me.  Butler, you are not accustomed to being protected.  I am.  You would refused their help, and you could have been killed."  Haunted eyes bored into Butler's.  "I have already been responsible for your death once, my friend.  I didn't want it to happen again."  

"It's my job to die for you." Butler insisted.  

"I know.  But it's my job to make sure you don't lose your life over something meaningless."  Artemis replied.  

The bodyguard opened his mouth to continue his argument, but stopped.  Finally he forced a smile, and removed his hand from Artemis's shoulder.  

"I believe we must agree to disagree on this matter, Artemis." he said.  "Thank you for being honest."  

"It's the least I can do, old friend." Artemis replied.  Butler nodded.  After a moment, the teen turned away and headed toward his room.  And Butler left to do whatever it was Butlers did when they weren't guarding the Fowls, mauling trolls, or practicing several silent and deadly arts.  

AN: Another short chapter, which we apologize for.  

ASN: Still, it's a day early, so I suppose that makes up for it.  

AN: Ahh, but I have an ulterior motive.  I'm coming to your house, dear sister, and won't be home until late Friday night.  So, I figured they would rather have this chapter a day early than a day late.  

ASN: Hmmm.  I see.  

AN: However, after this, there's only one…more…chapter…to…go!  *Breaks down in tears*  

ASN: There, there.  It's all right.  *Pats Lessa on back* I'm certain the readers will bomb us with death threats until we make a sequel.  

AN: *Brightens* Death threats?  Yeah!!

ASN: *Rolls eyes*  

**"What are you doing here?" Artemis asked, letting his bag slid to the floor with a thump.  **

**The grin disappeared, to be replaced by a look of quiet desperation.  "Um…this is really awkward." Holly muttered.  **

**Artemis raised an eyebrow.  "That sounds ominous."  **

**"Well, I had to tell the commander about how we met and you regained your memories."  Artemis studied her.  **

**"I take it that it didn't go well." **

**Holly laughed shortly.  "Nope.  In fact, he fired me."  **

AN: *Giggles* Ominous is a good word.  

ASN: *Sighs* Until next time, everyone.  Bye!!


	38. Epilogue

ASN: We sincerely apologize for the wait. Think of it as…us waiting to build up the tension.

AN: A.k.a, wrestling the computer away from the little brother. 

ASN: Besides we were very busy staring at dslguy14's award. We are so honored. 

AN: Thank you, thank you, thank you. We love you. 

ASN: *Grins* Are you single? 

AN: Right. Anyway, last chapter. We hope you've had as much fun as we have with this. 

**_This chapter is dedicated to all our faithful reviewers, who fixed our plot holes, checked our typos, and provided Lessa with bunches of death threats. We love you all. _**

****

**_Phire_****_ Phoenix Chan_**

**_Trinity Day_**

**_Anacalagon_**

**_Radioactive Bubblegum_**

**_Mage Kitty_**

**_AbigailNicole_**

**_Dslguy14_**

**_MysticAngel14_**

**_Almaseti_**

**_scarletswichblade_**

**_violomana_**

**_flamaria13_**

**_charliegirl2_**

**_potential_****_ psychotic_**

**_Nieni_****_ Woodland_**

**_ And there are so many more. Again, thank you. _**

****

****

****

**Epilogue**

Artemis walked down the hallway.  It had been a long day, and an even longer week.  He sincerely hoped this was going to be the last emotional confrontation he was subjected to.  After all, there wasn't anyone left to confront.  He opened the door to his bedroom.  

There was a very familiar auburn haired elf, sitting square in the middle of his bed.  

"Hi." she chirped.  A grin split her face as the boy's jaw dropped in a most un-Artemis Fowl like expression of surprise. 

"What are you doing here?" he asked, letting his bag slide to the floor with a thump.  

The grin disappeared, to be replaced by a look of quiet desperation.  "Um…this is really awkward." She muttered.  

Artemis raised an eyebrow.  "That sounds ominous."  

"Well, I had to tell the commander about how we met and you regained your memories."  Artemis studied her.  

"I take it that it didn't go well." 

Holly laughed shortly.  "Nope.  In fact, he fired me."  

Artemis was barely able to stop his jaw from dropping for the second time in as many minutes.  "I'm…sorry."  His eyes narrowed in sudden suspicion.  "Why are you here?"  

"Well," Holly looked up at him, pleading hope in her eye.  "Well, since now I don't have anywhere to go, and since it was _your fault I got fired…I was wondering if I could stay here for a couple weeks?  Until Commander Root calms down?"  _

Artemis stared in shock.  

After a moment of dead silence, he stepped backwards out of the room, and wordlessly shut the door.  The teen then turned and headed down the stairs.  He faintly heard light, mocking laughter come from his bedroom.  

Just as Artemis reached the empty study, Holly appeared in front of him.  Her smile was wide and lively.  "You're not laughing." she said playfully.  

"It wasn't funny." he retorted.  

"Well," Holly said, mirth bubbling in her voice, "The expression on your face was quite amusing, since you usually don't _have_ an expression."

Artemis sighed deeply.  "Captain, I thought we went through this before.  What have I done to deserve this?  You paid me back for all the things I've done to you."  He paused for a moment, then added dryly, "With interest."  

"Well, you got to keep your memories, so someone needs to keep an eye on you and make sure you're behaving."  Holly stopped to judge his reaction to that, and then settled into his computer chair.  Artemis glared at her for a moment.  When she didn't move, he sat in another seat.  

"And are you satisfied with my behavior, Captain?" he asked a little sternly.  

"Actually," the elf said, leaning forward and gazing at him innocently, "You seem a little uptight.  Is something wrong?"

The teen honestly didn't know whether he felt like laughing at Holly or throttling her.  He settled for rolling his eyes.  "If all friends as annoying as you are, then it is no wonder that I have avoided them for so long."  

Holly lit up in a brilliant smile.  Artemis noticed the look and frowned. 

"What is it?" he asked shortly.  She just continued to smile.

_"He called me a friend."  she thought delightedly.  __"He's finally starting to act like a regular teenager.  Maybe Simone __was a good influence on him."_

"Excuse me?" Artemis said coolly, interrupting the elf's thoughts and making her realize she had said the last sentence aloud.  

"Oops.  Sorry." she said sheepishly.  

The teen did not seem to believe her apology.  However, he decided to let it go.  "Did Commander Root really fire you?" he asked.  

"No." Holly said.  "He asked me to tell him why I was here.  And when I did, well, he wasn't _overjoyed_, but he didn't get half as mad as I thought he would."   

Artemis raised an eyebrow.  "So, you told me you were fired to see if it would make the great and grand Artemis Fowl Junior snap." 

Holly cringed.  "I didn't know you heard that."

"It wasn't worth mentioning before going into a dangerous situation.  Besides, I didn't want you following me, armed with a large and deadly laser, _and_ angry at me."  

Holly laughed.  "Probably not.  But no matter what, I wouldn't have killed you."  

"And why would you have shown such restraint?" he asked cynically.  

"Well, number one, Butler would have killed me." she answered.  

"And number two…" 

"Root would have killed me as well."  Holly said with a perfectly straight face.

Artemis did not seem amused.  "_That is the other reason?  I didn't think Commander Root was that fond of me."_

"If he's not allowed to lose his restraint, neither are any other LEP officers." Holly told him.  "It's an unspoken rule."

"Why are you here?" Artemis said, changing subject abruptly.  Holly frowned at him.  

"Every time we have a civil conversation, we end up on that question.  Why, Arty?  Do you not like having me here?" she asked, trying to pout and failing miserably.  

"I have homework." 

The elf snorted.  "Oh, please.  How long is homework based for an average mortal student going to take _you_?  Fifteen minutes?"  

"Considering I have homework in English Literature and Advanced Algebra as well as Chemistry, I believe it will be closer to... ten minutes." he deadpanned.  

She rolled her eyes and leaned back in the computer chair.  "I'm not surprised.  And before you ask again, you want to know why I'm here." 

Artemis had been planning to ask again, but he didn't show any surprise whatsoever.  "I would like to know, yes.  You should be in Haven."  

"I should.  I really should."  Holly smiled.  "Actually, I was sent here to keep an eye on you for a while.  Yes," she held up a hand to stop Artemis from saying anything, "I know the Council decided you were trustworthy enough to keep your memories, but they tend to err on the paranoid side." 

"Foaly's influence?" 

"More like his inspiration."  

Artemis smirked slightly.  "And they decided you were the best officer for the job?"  

"Actually," Holly began, "The Council said I should go, since I am the officer most familiar with you and your tricks, but Commander Root implied I was too emotionally involved for the job.  That's why it took a couple days for me to get up here." 

"Too emotionally involved?" Artemis echoed. 

"Yep."

"Since you're here, I assume you persuaded Commander Root otherwise."  

"I did.  It didn't take very long, either."   

"And what did you do?" he asked.  

"I went to his office and screamed at him." Holly said brightly.  Artemis blinked.  

"You…screamed at your commanding officer?"  

"Well, I figured it would be effective."  Holly shrugged.  "Besides, he does it to us all the time."

"I see.  And he wasn't offended?"  

"He was definitely surprised.  And he let me come.  So, if what I did worked, I'm not going to knock it." she said casually.  "Anyway, the job's not too hard."  

"And what are you going to be doing while you are here?" Artemis asked.  

"Well, I'll be doing random inspections.  You know, making sure you aren't doing anything illegal, checking on what activities you join-"

"Looking for my copy of the Booke." Artemis interjected.  Holly flashed him a bright smile.

"Thank you, I'd almost forgotten about that." she remarked.  "Just little things like that.  But, I figured you'd like a warning of some sort."  

"Yes, I do appreciate it." he answered dryly.  "How long will you be here?"  

"You just can't wait to get rid of me, can you?" she asked, grinning.  "I'm not sure.  But I won't stay here; I'll just check in every once in awhile and see how things are going."  

"I look forward to it." Artemis said with great sarcasm.  Holly jumped out of his chair and smirked.  

"I thought you might." the elf said.  "Well, I'll be seeing you around."  She put on her wings and began to buzz to the door.  As she reached it, Artemis stopped her.  

"When you went to yell at Commander Root, were you mad because he said you were unable to perform your duty, or because he thought you were emotionally attached to me?"  

All traces of a smile disappeared off Holly's face.  "I don't know what you're talking about." she said, shielding and opening the door.  

The door had almost closed when she heard him say, "Because you were emotionally attached.  I see."  The elf instantly lost her temper and kicked the door back open.  She unshielded, fury radiating from all three feet of her.  

"Why you, pompous, conceited, arrogant, snotty Mud Boy!" she hissed

"You forgot self-centered." he said blandly.  Her fists clenched, but she reined in her anger as comprehension struck her.  

"You're hitting all my buttons on purpose." she stated rather than asked.  Artemis smirked. 

"What are friends for?" he responded.  She glared at him once more before heading toward the door once again.  He sensed him following, and sighed theatrically.  

"I hate you." she muttered.  

"I'm certain that's exactly what you told Commander Root." he commented wryly.  

The teen calmly ducked the fist that came flying in his direction and gently pushed the irate elf out the door.  "Goodbye, Holly."  

She sighed and smiled back.  "Goodbye, Artemis.  I'll be back in a few days."  

"I'll see you then." he answered.  "Tell Foaly I said hello." 

"I'll do that."  Her grin widened, and then she soared down the hall and out the window into the green Irish countryside.  Artemis watched her go, and then turned to start his homework.

The End

AN: And there you have it. 

ASN: All right, before we leave you all, (until the next story), we still need to make some changes on this story. Fix mistakes, and so on. 

AN: So, if we missed your name on the dedication chapter, please tell us. 

ASN: With almost six hundred reviews, it's hard to keep up with everyone. We mean it. If you feel you have been a faithful reviewer, tell us. 

AN: *Looks at list* That's it. We're all done. *Sniffs* It's over!!!!!

ASN: *Sniffs as well* Again everyone, this has been great. We're so glad you enjoyed this. We had a ball writing it, and a wonderful time sharing it with you. 

*Lessa and Ryn both wave* Love ya all!!!!!


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